Obvious news is obvious. But, uh, here, enjoy it, those of you silly enough to like Jurassic World. Seriously though, who knows, maybe the sequel will be better. Jurassic World was in development hell forever, and one can hope that’s what led to such a horrid, mutant script.

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Black Mirror: so fucking good. Black Mirror: getting new episodes, courtesy of Netflix. Black Mirror: Joe Wright is directing an episode starring two major actresses. Black Mirror: so fucking good.

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Why have one Jurassic World movie when you can have three?! Especially when the first pile of dinosaur turd made $4 trillion dollars?

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Lots. And lots of people came out this weekend to see Star-Lord ride deep with raptors. I haven’t yet, cause of the whole “honeymoon” thing, but I’m interested. How about you?

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So okay. I’m pretty much down with this movie until proven otherwise. It’s got the goddamn Star-Lord riding with a DinoSquad, ready to take on the most dangerous dinosaur ever: ScienceT-RexGeneticSpliceRoar. Or whatever they’re calling it.

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This trailer. Dinosaurs? Dope. Fucking around stupidly with genetics? Dope. Chris Pratt’s lines? Eh. Goddamn, though. Looks like it’s going to be a hell of a butthole-clencher.

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Chris Pratt isn’t rocking that laziness tip these days. Guardians of the Galaxy, Parks and Rec, a role in Her. Now the good sir who plays my spirit animal (Andy Dwyer) is going to be starring in the next Jurassic Park flick.

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