Press Start: Sub-Title Generator Ver. 2.0
Video games are great and all, I don’t want you to get me wrong, but sometimes you just have to disconnect, you know? Really take a look at your surroundings and the people closest to you: learn to appreciate the real things in your life.
Of course I’m kidding, we all know that other human beings are fuckers and that reality is a hugely overrated series of crushing failures and missed opportunities. Let’s get virtual.
10 Comments »
‘GAME OF THRONES’ SEASON 3 IMAGES: Everyone dies, and no one smiles.
Hey! You! Here are a slew of new pictures from Game of Thrones’ third season. Don’t worry about memorizing the names. Literally all these people die. One giant dragon hurls a flaming scatalogical ball of doom. It kills them all.
‘MOOD INDIGO’ TRAILER: ‘Cause Michel Gondry is f**king gorgeous.
Kudos to Eddie Ball-o-Frozen-Rock for bringing this trailer to my attention. I prostrate my prostate at your feet, Gondry! This hurr be the trailer for Gondry’s Mood Indigo, and man is it lovely. Totally in French, totally surreal, totally exciting me.
‘DOCTOR STRANGE’ confirmed for MARVEL PHASE 3 movies. Oh golly gosh?
The Doctor Strange movie is coming, the Doctor Strange movie is coming! Are you excited? Are your staves glowing?
J.J. ABRAMS directing ‘STAR WARS: EPISODE VII’, I am sprung.
I bag on J.J. Abrams a lot, but I’m pretty fucking excited about this news. Homeboy isn’t an auteur or anything, but he is visually stunning, and more than competent. In 2015, we’re getting Whedon-powered Avengers 2, and Abrams-fueled Episode VII. Praise the Makers.
US combat airplanes getting legitimate laser turrets. Outrighteoustanding.
Fire up the X-Wing and prepare to take on some TIE fighters, folks. The United States Aerospace Defense Wizards have concocted a means through which they shall be installing laser turrets on their planes. If this isn’t a sign of the future, I don’t know what is. Maybe those robots that you can have sex with. They’re a sign. Sign of something.
‘JUSTICE LEAGUE’ MOVIE will have five core characters, no dance scenes. WTF.
Okay, okay. They never said there were going to be any dance scenes in the Justice League movie. Instead, it has been a silent hope of mine. What better way to solidify the tension between Wayne and Clark, than by them finally slinging dongs on the dance floor while talking out their differences? It’s a minor loss for the film, but a loss none the less.
‘INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS’ Trailer: Everything is sad, and I like it.
Oh, Coen Brothers. I have not thought about you lately, even though I have assuredly watched Lebowski at least twenty times since your last filmic endeavor. Now, here you are. Back! Back with a gorgeous little trailer, starring some hunky, tortured folk soul with a righteous beard. I’ve missed you.
NASA’s next robot moon walker is ATHLETE, promises to elegantly dispose our corpses.
Just build them up! Yes, keep building these beautiful, and elegant robots. Nothing is going to make the robot apocalypse more delicious than momentarily contemplating how we created these versatile killing machines. Ones that now, thanks to NASA, go hang out on the moon afterwards.
