MEGAN FOX is APRIL O’NEIL’ in the ‘NINJA TURTLES’ MOVIE reboot. It’s all f**king over.
If there was any doubt (there shouldn’t have been) that Michael Bay’s Ninja Thing Alien Surfers reboot was going to suck, you can cast aside those foolish notions. Megan Fox has joined the enterprise, portraying a childhood crush of mine. She’ll be taking the role over, bringing to it freakishly large thumbs, and raging vapidity.
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Newly discovered planet is the size of the MOON. Pluto is like, indignant.
The Space Wizards have found us a new exoplanet, and this one is fucking small. How small? We’re talking about as small as the round mound of Cheese that we like to call the Moon. Space Cheese. Pluto is probably pretty upset about this news, as it continues to deny the fact that its demotion wasn’t purely based on its size. Give it up, Pluto!
First official ‘PLAYSTATION 4’ controller and camera pics. Tech swag.
Herein, I shall be fetishizing the newest PlayStation gadgetry. I imagine rubbing the components up against my naked skin. Hardened, painfully taut nipples of mine manipulate the analog sticks with uncomfortable dexterity. All the while, the camera watches. All the while. The camera watches.
Cosplay: LADY LOKI is always welcome mischief!
For my money, there are few cosplay ideas that I enjoy more than Lady Loki. All that sexy sultriness, plus the have those phallic reminders stapled right onto her dome-piece. Yus.
Mark Hamill says he’ll probably be in ‘STAR WARS: EPISODE VII’, but he ain’t signed nothing.
Well shit! Shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that Marky Hamill thinks he is going to be up in the Episode VIIIIIIIIIII (or something) house. His melty faced companion Hans Solow is going to be in the film, so why wouldn’t he? Still though, the actor hasn’t signed any sort of agreement yet. I mean, this is all just a formality at this point. Right?
Playstation 4 announced – My Orbis is tickled; is yours?
Sony has unveiled their next-generation platform at today’s much anticipated Playstation meeting event. You can guess the name they went with.
In a two-hour event live-streamed through every major media outlet, the new console, its UI, its core features and its first games were shown off to the world for the first time. Let’s get to all the meat unveiled today.
86% of Netflix users say ‘HOUSE OF CARDS’ makes them less likely to cancel. Spacey riot!
What is a Spacey Riot? It is when a thousand clones of Kevin Spacey roll into your house. They begin kicking down objects, mashing them into bits while mimicking Spacey’s heinous Lex Luthor performance. You will cry and scream, but they will not relent. Should you even think of cancelling your Netflix subscription, they will end you. American Beauty style.
The Dude’s High 5s: Dream Jobs
There’s a lot of folk out there, and in the OL community, looking for jobs. Part of the challenge of finding one is finding one that you won’t want to murder things at. So in my second to last High 5 I’m going to pose a question. That question is, what job(s), training and skill aside, would you dream about having? Here’s mine, feel free to share yours.
KRISTEN WIIG and SETH ROGEN are guesting on ‘ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT’ Season 4. Most righteous.
Fuck yes. Every once in a while, I recall that Arrested Development is getting a fourth season. In these brief moments of mental illumination, a tingling feeling engulfs my genitals. Quietly, they hum with the consolation of a temporarily beautiful universe. Now that I know both Kristen Wiig and Seth Rogen are guest starring in season four, said humming and glowing will feel even more fantastical.
Saturn’s got itself some HEXAGONAL CLOUDS, ain’t nobody know why.
Why does Saturn have hexagonal clouds? That’s a great, great question. Few minds have solved the riddle, and often those bodies have been found discarded in the dumpsters at the local Wendy’s Burger and Diarrhea emporium. Dare you attempt to solve the puzzle? Then dive further into this here article.
