Press Start: Chauvinist Heartbreak Edition
Life, as I’ve come to learn, is often a cruel minefield of disappointment; full of strategically placed traps and the worst kind of surprises. Naturally, I’ve gravitated towards video games: a hobby that offers me a portal into worlds in which I can at least wield some modicum of control. Even when I fuck it all up, there’s a second chance. Still, these worlds aren’t without heartbreak, they still host plenty of the kind of girls your mother warned you about.
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Search Engine Terms: ALISON BRIE x THOR’S HAIR
[Search Engine Terms. Most of ours are ultra depraved and absurd. And amusing to sick people like me.]
Man, these are sort of fun to pay attention to. Welcome! Welcome searchers. Anyone searching for Alison Brie deserves a high-five. I don’t know what the “X” is for. Perhaps Alison Brie X-Treme? And then! Then there is the lovely person searching for Thor’s Hair. My friend, be you of any gender, race, ethnicity, cosmic origin, know this: you are welcome here.
Hit the jump for some of Thor’s hair. And Alison Brie. Ya’ll welcome.
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN Miles Morales DEFINITELY COMING to regular MARVEL U. Lame.
Miles Morales was really neat because he was a half-Hispanic, half-African American who was the Spider-Man of the UMU. Well, now he’s coming to the regular Marvel U. And he’ll be just one Spider-Person among a deluge of clones, dumb asses, Doc Ock, and others. This has me significantly bummed.
Opinions Vary: Spoiler Alert
Hello out there in the interwebs. It’s time for another ride on Opinions Vary. This week’s topic … spoilers. So if you don’t mind spoilers, or even if you do, step on up, hit the jump and let’s burn this mother down.
NASA abandons repair plans for KEPLER TELESCOPE. Goodnight, Sweet Prince.
After finding roughly three-fucking-zillion exoplanets, it appears that the Kepler telescope is no longer going to hunt for the little balls of hope out there in the cosmos. It was a good goddamn run. But it needs repairs to maintain its accuracy, and NASA says they probably wouldn’t take.
Science: Orgasms are good for your memory, brain. F**K SUDOKU.
I’m going to run with this report, even though I doubt the accuracy. The amount of procrasturbating I did in graduate school alone enough should have me with an elephantine memory. Yet I can barely remember where the fuck I put the keys. Or why when I find them, they’re in the litter box. Always the litter box.
M74 is the PERFECT SPIRAL GALAXY. I guess. I’m not really sure.
Hey, if NASA calls this shit the perfect spiral then I’m totally down. I don’t know anything about perfection. Or spirals. Stars are pretty though. I look at them, thinking of you. Your beautiful biceps. I hold myself, thinking of you. Staring at galaxies.
Wait uh whatever. Just hit the jump for the full beauty.
‘THOR: THE DARK WORLD’ RESHOOTS ADDING MORE LOKI. Lady Loki?!
Shit man I don’t even care if it’s Tom Hiddleston in women’s clothing. Just give me Lady Loki. Or not. Whatever. But people fucking love the character. And Marvel seemingly knows this, as they’re going back to filming to add more of the God of Mischief.
Ramon Villalobos’ BATMAN AND SUPERMAN is gritty dopeness.
Sometimes when I’m trying to describe artwork I realize that I lack the vocabulary to do so. Fuck! I ain’t got them words. To put in this here text box. So. Yeah. Ramon Villalobos rules. So does his rendition of the Cape and the Cowl.
Cosplay: LADY LOKI makes me HORNED. Get it? #Groan
During Boston Comic Con I came to the conclusion that I am in love with Lady Loki. Don’t matter who is cosplaying her. Don’t matter what’s going on in those pantaloons. I’m down. Whatever we’re talking about wrangling. Lady Loki, I choose you.
