Cosplay: BLACK CAT is the LATEXTUAL way to close out the week. (That’s a good thing.)

Black Cat.

Hnng! Hnng, hnng, hnng! After a long week carrying a heavy set of testicles, this cosplay threatens to snap my spine in half. It is worth it. It was worth it. It will always be worth it.

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‘FINAL FANTASY 15’ TRAILER: So Slick You’ll Slip and Crack Your Head

Final Fantasy XV.

Here’s a new trailer for Final Fantasy XV. The first half is the usual pretentious, half-fried nonsense that has come to embody Japanese storytelling in my dumb, thick-headed skull. The second half of the trailer is a parade of gorgeous, hyper-kinectic visuals detailing the combat system.

This is a fair trade to me.

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RUMOR: Saoirse Ronan to be ‘EPISODE VII’ VILLAIN.

Saoirse Ronan.

Dope young actress rumored to be holding down the villain spot in Episode VII. I can get behind this. What do you folks think?

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JOSS WHEDON was BROUGHT IN to UNF**K ‘THOR: THE DARK WORLD’ SCENES.

Joss Whedon.

Whedon is like The Wolf of the Marvel Universe or some shit. Can’t get some scenes to pop? Bring in the Wizard. He’ll rub them up with witty repartee, and demand only a kiss on his golden noggin.

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Buy These Flippin Comics!!! (9.18.13) – Dr. Strange-Love or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love “Event” Books

New Avengers #10.

As I write this, it is very early morning, and the world is quiet.  The day’s caffeine long worn off, the exhilaration of the Breaking Bad marathon I’ve been in the middle off is the only thing that keeps me up this late.  Oh, and this column.  For those of you not in the know, this is the virtual campfire we comic-ingesting fangirls and boys gather round, debating and discussing, ranking and rating the best and brightest funnybooks to come out each week.  What has got you jazzed for Wednesday (the comic-nerd’s Holy day)?  Has DC’s Villain-palooza got you frothing?  Has the Marvel Event-festival torn your psyche and wallet in twain?  Have no clue what the fudgsicle even comes out this week???  Hit the jump and have all these questions answered, and more!

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Monday Morning Commute: Tuesday Evening Lament

Story of my life.

Hello friends. Apologies for posting Monday Morning Commute on a Tuesday Evening. Thirteen hour work days. All that fun stuff. Anyways. Here’s uh — the thing. Wait, what thing? Ah yes, the thing. The list of activities I’m indulging in this week, in an effort to stave off the grind-based madness of the modern condition.

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Press Start: It’s Tough Being A Kid

fight

It probably goes without saying (but I will anyway) that most of our formative experiences with video games stem from childhood. Whether it was skipping school to hike to the nearest Street Fighter II cabinet, or locking yourself in your room to explore the vast kingdom of Hyrule, most of us will have some key memory that comes to define what games are to us and they would have been formed at a pretty young age. For me, they were worlds of wonder; simple though they may have been, they unlocked my imagination more than any teacher-fed book could ever hope to do. And though I find myself fawning over the ability to now play as a fully fledged criminal in the online space, I still think the contemporary world of video games is incredibly limited, at least for children.

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JUSTIN BIEBER totally TROLLS ‘BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN’ by TWEETING PIC OF SCRIPT

Oh Lord oh lord.

This is some next level trolling right here. No way, no way would DC be daft enough to draft Justin Bieber into the Batman vs. Superguy franchise. Instead, I imagine this is related to some Funny or Die spoof. Loving it though.

Hit the jump for the image that launched a thousand bags of barf.

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DC APOLOGIZES for asking aspiring artists to draw NAKED, SUICIDAL HARLEY QUINN. Ridiculous.

Face Palm.

The craziest part of this story is that none of it is from the rotting membranes of my filth-dome. DC comics really is this fucking stupid. Especially since this nonsense occurred the same week that they essentially jettisoned one of their more prominent auteur creators over stagnant, company-wide policies that allow for little growth or complexity. New 52! LOL.

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JULIANNE MOORE cast in ‘THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY.’ Fugg yeah.

Julianne Moore.

Fuck yes. Julianna Moore has joined the enormous cast of The Hunger Games, and she be rocking a pretty significant role. Head of the Resistance and shit! Is that a spoiler? Oh come on. You didn’t think there was a resistance?

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