‘FALLOUT 4’ TEASER SITE is revealed as FAKE. F**K S**T ASS.
OH FUCKING GOD DAMMIT. May the soul who perpetuated this most horrid fib (honestly perhaps the most egregiously malicious lie in all of history) get razor-blade laced diarrhea. Whilst they stand outside in a tsunami of blood and animal carcasses. Fuck.
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Jerry “Slop Culture Maven” Bruckheimer signs Paramount deal. ‘TOP GUN 2’ is TOTS PRIORITY.
Give it up to Jerry Bruckheimer. No, seriously. Give it up to him. He’s completely uncomfortable with the fact that Michael “Dig My Mullet, Assholes” Bay is the undisputed king of cinematic pop culture diarrhea these days. Jerry is going to rally. He swears to his disgusted wife, his ashamed kids. How goes Jerry plan on doing this? Dethroning the Golden Mullet?
A couple of sequels that’ll milk your knickers clean.
DREW GODDARD officially RUNNING THE THE ‘DAREDEVIL’ Netflix Series
Yum!, yum, yum! What be that taste? Delicious Daredevil stew! Yup! Let it roll down your gullet and into your soulll. Man, this wine is hitting me hard. Waituhsouhwait — what is going on here? Oh yes. Drew Goddard is officially helming the Daredevil series for Netflix, and this is a small win for everyone. Except for the Kingpin. That fat fuck totally, like, laments any success that Murdock has.
Opinions Vary: Monsters of the Week Episodes F**king Rule
A couple of weeks ago I was yanking purple-tip to Almost Human’s premiere. It was jazzy, I was jazzed, my underoos were sticky but stern. (What does that even mean?) In the middle of my fluids-flinging, our own incalculably talented J-Hawtsauce pointed out that he had a hard time swallowing the episode orders that network television demanded. The good sir lamented the puffed-up nature that having to bring twenty-four (or so) episodes to bare every season can produce on a show.
At the time I claimed that I didn’t have a problem with what were essentially procedural television shows with a science-fiction tinge. After all, I love the X-Files, Fringe titillates me, and since I’m lazy and don’t feel like thinking I’ll nominate Battlestar Galactica as (a stretch of) an example.
Monsters of the week episodes rule! (Sort of.)
FOX signs SIMON KINBERG to serve as the Kevin Fiege of their MARVEL MOVIE UNIVERSE
Television shows have showrunners. Now it seems that the bloated comic book universes that are slowly coming to encompass all of our cinematic pop culture (exaggeration) will all have their own steward. Fiege for Marvel (you could argue Whedon, but Fiege seems eternal), David S. Blowhard for DC, and now Simon Kinberg for Fox’s own Marvel line.
Buy These Flippin’ Comics!!! (12.4.13) – Kickin’ it With Karnak
Welcome, friend-os, to another installment of BTFC, the #1 stop to find the best and brightest comic releases each week. Not #1? Did I make your top 10, at least? No matter. What DOES matter is that we’ve got a week chock full of interesting releases, and if you hit the jump you can check those out AND be privy to my insane Marvel U conspiracy theories. It’s a win-win for everyone.
Check out all the new releases HERE and remember to hit up the comments section and mention the floppies that made your pull list but perhaps missed my mentioning. See you inside!
‘X-MEN: APOCALYPSE’ IS A MOVIE. Coming 2016.
Well, looks like Fox is thinking big. Going for their own blow out universal jamboree. What does that mean? It means every thing. Wait — huh? Man, I’m over-caffeinated. Yeahsoanyways like the story is that before X-Men: Wolverine Fetish Gear Time Travelling Bullshit drops, Fox has announced its sequel.
‘VERONICA MARS Movie Clip: High School Never Ends! Plus Release Date!
Woah baby! You want the first clip from the Veronica Mars movie? Of course you do! Unless you don’t. But you should.
Valve Engineer invented BUTT and TONGUE game controllers. You freaky, brah.
Now this I can get behind! (Is that a pun in this context?) A Valve engineer who goes by the name of Ben Krasnow has revealed two controllers he created in his spare time. I say “goes by the name” because this gentleman is obviously a Skrull obsessed with butts. And tongues. Just trust me. Them green fuckers are always doing things like this. Butt experiments. Tongue exercises. Trust me. Trust me. Anyways, Skrull-Ben has invented these controllers and now he’s showing them to the world.
First ‘OPRHAN BLACK’ Season 2 image. Plus! Details!
My body is ready! My mind is ready! It’s time for more Orphan Black in my gut-butt-soul. The minds behind the show must know this, because they’ve dropped the first morsels related to the show’s second season.
