‘STAR WARS: ATTACK SQUADRONS’ announced. FREE! multiplayer space combat. Oh god.
Oh god. Oh yes. Star Wars: Attack Squadrons has been announced. A free-to-play dogfighting game featuring all of the classic space ships from The Universe. I am sprung. Sprung, I say! Watch out, my lightsaber is igniting! Easy penis-to-saber puns! For everyone! Wee!
Hit the jump for the teaser trailer.
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’22 JUMP STREET’ Red Band Trailer: Every reboot needs a sequel
The only thing more egregious than a reboot-remake-rething movie? One of those movies that is so successful that it generates a sequel. I loved the original 21 Jump Street with Tatum and Hill. I’m hoping the sequel will be self-aware enough to govern the film over the standard sequel-based hazards.
Hit the jump for the trailer.
Stunning BATMAN GRAFFITI found in abandoned building. Exploring++
This is gnarly. A redditor and his girlfriend from Belgium thought they were just going to do some run-of-the-mill urban exploring. You know, finding their way into some abandoned building. Cut themselves. Get tetanus. Probably die. However, they did one better than dying from a rusty spoon in some burned down shack. The couple stumbled across some gorgeous Batman graffiti.
Cosplay: Wonder Woman on that mug shot swagger.
I believe that some of these photos are supposed to emulate mug shots. I cannot however be certain. The morale of the story? What I have to offer is largely irrelevant.
Hit the jump for some lovely Wonder Woman cosplay.
Watch: CHINA lands on the f**king MOON.
As I’ve intimated in other places – I don’t care what nation of humanity explores space, or for what reasons. I’m lumping us all together and considering it a win for us barely not-primates. This weekend China landed on the fucking moon. So I’m high-fiving for all of us.
Hit the jump to check it out.
GORDON-LEVITT producing ‘SANDMAN’ MOVIE. May STAR & DIRECT.
It’s JGL’s world, we are just living in it. Which given his track record is completely okay by me. Also, scribble me down as excited about the Sandman movie now that I know JGL’s probably going to end up starring in it, as well as directing it, producing it, and all that other happy horse shit. My excitement is in exact inverse proportion to how much Snyder and Goyer are involved with this bad boy. So yeah, I’m throbbing more by the minute.
Monday Morning Commute: King in the Rot
Absalom Fabliaux had drained fifteen Pepsi-Colas and he felt like a goddamn king.
Sitting in the bar for the better part of four hours, Absalom whittled away at a couple of chapters, clickety-clackin’ at his keyboard with little regard for his surroundings. Smarmy suits and slicked-back trustfunds poured shots into the fertile secretaries that’d someday be their suburban broodmares. Y’know, after accounts were conquered and four-oh-one-kays secured and dividends divided. The digital music lasered its way into their brains, encouraging the Vanilla Paste People to strut their stuff.
And still, Absalom forged ahead, undeterred.
His writer-comrades didn’t understand why he’d write in the midst of such chaos. Unlike him, they flocked to their studies and libraries and offices and espresso bars. But Absalom Fabliaux never found himself more distracted than when he tried to work in such venues. To him, these places were the domiciles of good — silence and thought and books, which contain no little amount of that stuff called the Incredible. And, of course, coffee.
Absalom Fabliaux could never count on making a deadline if he set up shop in a Den of Wonder.
His office? An upscale bar in the financial district. His workday? Happy hour until close. In the eye of the storm, Absalom Fabliaux knew he’d get work done. Zero temptation to talk to anyone. A consistent environment, day-in and day-out. With the rot in his periphery, he had just enough white noise to fuel his words. And to top it all off, the place served glass-bottle Pepsis.
As he requested another, Absalom chuckled to himself. “I’ll be goddamned if I’m not the only bastard who should’ve been cut off but ain’t.”
Absalom Fabliaux had drained sixteen Pepsi-Colas and he knew himself to be a goddamn king.
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This is the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! First, I spew words at you in the form of a short story or vomit-essay. Then, I show you the entertainment-debris I’ll be rummaging through in the next days. Lastly, you hit up the comments section and tell everyone what you’ll be doin’ to get through the week.
Rock and roll, baby!
Cosplay: Ryuko from ‘KILL LA KILL’ is kill-la-killing my weakened heart.
I can talk about this cosplay now! I’m all caught up on Kill La Kill, feeling hip and shit. Now there is no reason for me not posting excellent renditions of Ryuko’s ridiculously fanservicey costume.
Nolan’s ‘INTERSTELLAR’ Teaser Trailer: Dare to Dream Again
There is very little in the way of footage in the first trailer for Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar. Instead we have Matthew McConaughey with a table-setting monologue about humanity’s loss of dreaming. Though I find this to be a pretty insular view, and would be more fairly applied to the governments of the world (who used the space race far more as cold war maneuvering than genuine desire to explore) than us individuals who populate the Blue Marble. Whatever. Look at me. Blah, blah, blah.
‘STAR WARS: EPISODE VII’ SCRIPT isn’t due UNTIL JANUARY. Hey, whatevs.
The Episode VII script was junked. George Lucas caterwauled. Now Abrams is in the hood, unfucking the script from scratch with Larry Kasdan. No problem, right? It’s just that, you know, the movie is due out in two years.
