‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’ International Trailer: Bad guys shoot at you
Captain America: The Winter Soldier got an International Trailer. Smidgen of new footage. An added laugh. IDGAF, I’m smitten.
No Comments
‘Hyper Light Drifter’ looking to drift…onto PC & Steam this holiday
Fuck you and your headlines, Caff-Pow! It’s like you’re thirteen Diet Dews and a Sudafed deep! Reality is buzzing and forget headlines, between the mucous drip and the shakes you can barely maintain a presence in this plane of reality! I say — precisely! But while I’m here, I’m going to enjoy the news that Hyper Light Drifter is dropping this holiday.
J.K. Rowling: Hermione should have gotten with Harry. Oh word?
If you’re one of those people who was all “Hermione+Ron OTP for lyfe bruh!“, J.K. Rowling is shitting on your Potter existence. Years after the Potter Saga ended in a shit-confetti explosion of fan service in that god forsaken epilogue, Rowling is coming out and saying she got the Hermione relationship wrong.
Patrick Brown crushes the ‘FALLOUT 3’ artwork game
Nothing much to say here, other than Patrick Brown is responsible for a hell of a dose of Fallout 3 artwork. Tasty enough to remind you how good the game was, hellaciously tasty enough to remind you how badly you want Fallout 4.
‘CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER’ Super Bowl Trailer: America F**K Yeah
Forgive the ridiculous title. I’m sorry! I have like 36,000 calories in me, caffeine rocketing around the guts like lightning! Viva America’s True Religious Holiday: Super Bowl Sunday! Anyways — holy fuck at this trailer. A truly gluttonous trailer for a truly gluttonous occasion. Too much awesome. Too many ridiculous moments. In a trailer.
I’m too excited for this movie.
Philip Seymour Hoffman has passed away at age 46.
Bummer. Total bummer on the talented actor front. Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead in his apartment today, the gnarly cinematic force a mere forty-six.
‘Enemy’ Theatrical Trailer: Bearded Gyllenhaal sees double
When I see Jake Gyllenhaal with a beard, I curse the lack of progress in the biological technologies. Don’t give me “oh we have amazing advances every day!” nonsense. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Until I can vat-grow ovaries and have Bearded Gyllenhaal’s children it is all for fucking nothing. Nothing! Seriously though — here is a trailer for Enemy. It is the second flick that Gyllenhaal has cut with Denis Villeneuve; the two of them teamed up last year for the exceptional Prisoners. After watching this trailer, I’m not entirely certain what this movie is about. And I fucking love that.
Cosplay: Lady Booker DeWitt is infinitely awesome.
It’s Friday. Leave my headlines alone. Go one, git! And leave your soda cans on the lawn on your way out. Each one of those fuckers is worth five cents and I’ve got a caffeine addiction to support.
JESSE EISENBERG is LEX LUTHOR in ‘BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN.’ Plus Jeremy Irons as Alfred.
Jesse Eisenberg is going to be playing Lex Luthor in the Man of Steel sequel. This is sort of neat because casting that dude significantly calms down any sort of interest I had in the project and Universe. Temper my expectations. Can’t stand the guy. Strikes me as pretentious. Whatever. And this news is particularly hilarious since he shat on big budget tent pole movies a couple of years ago.
Oh! And Jeremy Irons.
‘CONSTANTAINE’ TV pilot snags great ‘GAME OF THRONES’ director
How do you do your best to mitigate the insipidity that is bringing the grizzled, Hard-R character John Constantine to regular television? Well. You cancel the pilot. But if you’re not going to do that, and we both know NBC isn’t, then you bring in dude who directed one of Game of Thrones‘ biggest episodes.
