The conceit is simple, yet brilliant. A drunk as hell Scorpion stumbling through classic paintings. It’s the little things folks! The little things.

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Any regular around here knows I have a certain *cough* fixation on body suits. Spandex, latex, leather, pleather. Sign me up for all of them. So said regulars can pretty much say “obviously” when I point out this Catwoman has me losing my mind.

Hit the jump for more.

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Brandon Graham’s latest effort of inspired rockitude comes courtesy of the Emerald City Comicon. Graham has provided art for the convention which depicts a veritable fuckload of creator-owned characters just hanging out. Attending the convention. It’s a wonderful way to a) hype the con, b) pay tribute to the gnarly cavalcade of creator-owned characters out there, and c) give me a boner.

Hit the jump for the full artwork and details!

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Like a month ago or some fuck, there was buzz that the Russo Bros were going to return to the Marvel Fold and direct Captain America 3: The US Is My Only Lover. Flash forward (making a fucking whoosh sound like you do, fools!) a month, and now the buzz has crystalized into fact.

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I’m just imbuing this story with all sorts of things that aren’t true. Probably. Probably made-up. Like this dude who has left Valve for Oculus was totally poached from The Gabe Company. Top secret dinners. Libations and young sacrifices promised. He signed with Oculus in blood, as John Carmack stood in the corner jerking off over an original printing of Atlas Shrugged. That’s what I envision. ‘Cause if I don’t, it’s just moar “blah blah VR is wonderful, blah blah” rhetoric.

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A new Wednesday, a new batch of comics.  This week we head back to Gotham, Zero writer Ales Kot puts his spin on Avenger Secretions, Matt Fraction & Co. present a Very Hawkeye Holiday Special, and I hep you cats to one of the greatest crime comics that has been right under our noses ALL THIS TIME!  So hit the jump, put the needle to the vein, and let’s get this week’s comic fix on, shall we?

For a full rundown of this week’s comics, click HERE.

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Apparently there’s an enormous as fuck Jedi apprentice role in the new Warring Stars flick. And said role is now down to five actors.  As a sweaty loser with a Wampa butt plug, I’m going to sweat Episode VII pretty much regardless. Of anything. But there’s one dude on this list that would absolutely fucking break my dick. We’re talking rocketing out of the crotch of my Wicket cosplay and impaling my cat type level of excitement.

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Liam Neeson! Bro! Are you even fucking serious? I got problems with you twice over. Now understand that I’m a fan of Daniel Craig, his craggy face, and his rendition of Bond. So I’m somewhat content. But fuck man, you turned down Bond?! To star in Non-Stop? Unknown Taken 2? (I loved the first one.) Damn, man. And if that ain’t bad enough — now you gotta tell us all about the fact that you turned down the role?

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Fox has pulled down its pants and swung around its plot synopsis for Gotham, the Batman-Not-Batman Prequel that they shall be airing. TL;DR edition? Shit kicks off with Jimmy and Friend trying to solve the murder of Brucey’s parents. For the unabridged version, as well as the full logo, hit the jump.

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My abandonment at the hands of a concluded True Detective is vicious. Stumbling, snot-nosed, crying through the aisles of 7-Eleven. My slurpee-vomit caked t-shirt displaying Rust’s face. My finger paint execution of said likeness, flawless. Thankfully though, there shall be a Throne soon arriving to quell this hysteria.

Join me in watching a new trailer for the show’s fourth season! Plus! Details about the show’s long term details!

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