Amy Acker cast as AGENT COULSON’S GIRLFRIEND in ‘AGENTS OF SHIELD.’
Man. You think Thor was seven-shades of rotting ass douche for not seeing Jane Foster post-Avengers? Fucking Agent Coulson has been running around back from the fucking dead for a serious minute now, and he ain’t contacted his beautiful bitty. But all of that shit is going to change now, according to latest casting news. Steel yourself for a proper slap to the face, Coulson.
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(Nasty) Look at GREEN GOBLIN from ‘AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2’.
Man. Dane DeHaan usually looks haggard as fuck, but this is some next-level disgusting shit. Check out this more-than-we-need look at the talented actor as the Green Goblin.
Rumor: BRADLEY COOPER eyed to STAR in ‘INDIANA JONES’ reboot. Uhhhhhhh.
Uhhh. So like, how about this one? Bradley Cooper? Indiana Jones? That’s the word out of Latino Review’s corner of the rotting carcass that is the Pop Culture Interwebs. And friends, they get a lot of things right when it comes to rumors. But fuck yo, I don’t know how I feel about this. Whatever. I’m just going to nod to myself and repeat the phrase “It can’t be worse than Crystal Skull” until I attain Nirvana. Or go back to playing Second Son. One of those two.
MOAR CONFIRMED? PS4 getting PS1 & PS2 games in NATIVE 1080p
All I want in life is to be able to play my old school PlayStation games on my PlayStation 4-Some. In 1080p. Is that too much to ask? (I actually want a lot of other things: a golden dildo with my name engraved, a falcon, limitless supplies of Diet Mountain Dew, to name a few.) Soon I may be getting one of those wishes granted (unfortunately not the fucking falcon).
NASA astronomer finds first EARTH-SIZED planet in habitable zone. Pack yer bags.
Pack your bags! Once we can conquer the impossible and traffic faster than light, we’ve found our first stop. Motherfuckin’ Earth-sized planet has been spotted in the “juicy space spot”, where planets thrive. I’m just spit balling. I don’t really know what I’m talking about. Too busy fingering my ass in public and screaming “you’ll never find me where I’m going!” while wearing my NASA space suit.
FACEBOOK buys OCULUS RIFT. My bunghole goes virtual.
Facebook has bought Oculus Rift. This is either the worst thing ever, or the idea of a virtual reality wherein I can finally attend to my dreams of surfing the Metaverse as a console cowboy is coming true. Most likely though — you’re all just going to be able to see my tattered anus scraps in all the dimensions you could ever ask for. I look forward to offending everyone in new, amazing ways.
‘HERCULES’ TRAILER: THE ROCK PUNCHES OUT LIONS. ‘CAUSE.
Okay, so I don’t really know if The Rock punches out a lion in this trailer. But I’m pretty sure he does. Lion leaps. Cut to black. He’s wearing that dumb cat’s fucking head as a helmet. Seems obvious. I’m in, man. Before the lion punching, I was in. It’s the fucking Rock.
DOUBLE FINE getting into indie games publishing; starting with ‘ESCAPE GOAT 2.’
Double Fine ain’t just going to hang around as a gaming industry darling, Kickstarting games to radical levels of funding. They ain’t just going to pubish those games to applause, Internet hand jobs, et cetera. The company is also going to go GOOD GUY PUBLISHER MODE and begin helping to get indie games out. Starting with Escape Goat 2.
Marvel teaming up EVERY SPIDER-MAN EVER in ‘SPIDER-VERSE.’ K.
Crisis on Infinite Spider-Verse! In October, Marvel along with Dan Slott with Olivier Coipel will be dropping the thickest batch of Spider-Load you can imagine. All sorts of fucking Spider-Guys fighting stuff! In fact — all the goddamn Spider-Folk. So while I generally wouldn’t check out a Spidey event, the return of Parker combined with Coipel handling the artwork has me intrigued.
Monday Morning Commute: Charles Xavier Dove Into the Shallow End.
Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! In addition to being my feeble attempt to contribute to Spaceship OL, the MMC is the our proverbial water cooler. We gather `round and share the various ways we’ll be enjoyin’ ourselves throughout the week. Yes, it’s like show-and-tell, but for the Future-Net!
What’s that you’ll be eating? Doritos? How festive! And you, Larry with nubby pinky, you say you’re going to send bags of dogshit to your former secretary? Yes, I do think you’ll get restraining ordered! And Tammy, I can’t believe that you found those Peabo Bryson vinyls! Let `em spin, girl!
Let `em spin.
