The Safdie Brothers sign first-look deal with HBO. Uncut awesomeness, amirite?
The Safdie Brothers fucking rock. So, I’m jazzed and jizzing over their first-look deal with HBO.
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Sony is planning a PlayStation 5 conference for next week, on June 3. Give me a fucking launch date and price, I beg you!
Mamma fucking mia! Could next week be the date that I get a launch date and a launch price for my PlayStation 5? It’s looking good, it’s looking good. There’s a conference set for June 3.
‘Grand Theft Auto VI’ may be dropping in 2023, according to this Take-Two SEC filing. I’ll take these fucking crumbs!
When the fuck is Grand Theft Auto VI dropping? If this Take-Two SEC filing is any indication, it’ll be 2023. A solid fucking decade after GTA V. What exactly does this filing provide, that suggests this? It reveals that the company “expects to spend $89 million on marketing during the 12-month period ending March 31, 2024. That is more than twice the marketing budget for any other fiscal year over the next half-decade” and what franchise could spur that one? Motherfucking GTA.
Monday Morning Commute: Prayers Up!
I’m on vacation, but fuck I’m awful at enjoying it. Nothing says “I’m fucking crushing this relaxing thing” like waking up at 9:30 this morning, veins white-hot with irrational anxiety. But! I’m happy to say I have rallied since then. Took a two-mile walk, exercised a bit. Sucked in the rays from the Central Engine, and felt my rectum loosen just a bit. Just–a-bit. However, that’s better than nothing, right? And folks, good news.
I’m asking you to help loosen my rectum even further. That’s right, that’s right! Pull up a chair, and shoot the shit with me. Tell me what you’re looking forward to this week, and watch in glee-and-horror as the ole o-ring relaxes to a healthy sort of dour droop. I don’t ask for much, but I’m asking for this. Let us imbibe in the sweetened, honeyed nectar of community, together. And share in the experience of watching as he gets me where I need to be.
Please?
This is Monday Morning Commute.
Average ass Scott Derrickson directing ‘Labyrinth’ sequel so I’m glad I don’t care deeply about that movie
After watching a good portion of his filmography, I’m fairly certain that Scott Derrickson is functional at best. So if I was a fan of the original, I really wouldn’t be stoked that he’s directing a Labyrinth sequel.
Dude hacks NES Power Glove to control a modular synth with his fingers. This is the retrofuture cyberpunk I demand.
Now, this is what I’m talking about. Sam Battle has gone full retrowave cyberpunk and hacked an NES Power Glove to control a modular synth of his.
‘Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ is already the highest grossing digital title on the Nintendo Switch
Fucking Animal Crossing, man! It was already reported that it had the best Switch launch. Ever. Now, we have word that it’s already the lifetime leader in Switch digital sales and revenue. I say, goddamn!
Scientists find that saying “fuck” and other swears can decrease pain. THEN WHY AM I ETERNALLY TORMENTED?
So, get this fucking shit! Saying swears has been shown to “reduce your experience of pain, according to a new study by Keele University researchers.” Oh man! Gimme a fuck yeah! Seriously though, now I’m vindicated every time I stub my fucking toe!
Weekend Open Bar: Take a breath, my dudes!
My, oh fucking my!
It’s the end of the week, friends! It’s the end of the semester, friends! And, it’s a long weekend friends! Praise JCVD, my friends! The All-Father has delivered me to the end of the weird, wild, awful online semester, and I’m stoked.
As well, I found out that due to budgetary problems — if you don’t know this yet, COVID-19 has lit higher education on fire — I can’t begin summer tutoring until June 1. So, not only is it a long weekend, but I’m fucking off until June 3.
My, oh fucking my!
‘Tenet’ Trailer: It’ll open the right doors…some of the wrong ones too. In theaters July 17, still! Apparently!
Here’s the new trailer for Nolan’s audacious, mind-bending movie, Tenet. And, I’m going to level with you! I’m not watching the trailer. I already want to see this shit, badly. That said? I’m impressed Warner Brothers is doubling down on its release date, July 17.
Check it out for yourself, if you’re inclined!
