Monday Morning Commute: Five Years In A Lifetime
The Universe, as expressed through time, don’t give two tugs of Fate’s tits about us, my friend. And in some ways, that’s pretty fucking freeing. Lord knows, we’re fucking it up down here with an alacrity and casualness that would definitely piss off most religion’s Gods. But, they don’t exist and we’re alone, and the Universe is just humming along. Indifferent, but wonderful. Detached, but in a sort of measured, comforting manner.
Anyways, the whole reason I started babbling about existence, the Cosmos not even mustering a shrug at humanity, and all this happy horseshit is thus: I’m celebrating my five-year anniversary on Saturday. What the absolute fuck, how the absolute fuck have five years passed already?
In many ways, 2015 was a severe mid-series reboot of my existence. To the extent that, while I don’t regret any of the choices, I would never stack such changes on top of one another so quickly. In the span of three months I got married, bought a house, and got a dog.
There was a moment that autumn where I asked myself, “Who the fuck am I? And what the fuck am I doing?” in a sort of feverish worry.
But, now it’s difficult to picture myself not living with my wife, walking my dog, or fondly returning to my small house. Which is an overly opaque way of saying I enjoy my life, and I find myself smiling now at the chaos. Perhaps that’s the goal, to be able to come out the other side of the Tumult, and be able to smile at it.
Who knows. I’m bloviating, per usual.
Only tangentially related to that saccharine blast of textual diarrhea is this here column, Monday Morning Commute! Or, maybe I’m just being disingenuous. ‘Cause when I think of what I enjoy most in my life, spending time here and on Twitch with the rest of the OL community is high on the list.
So my dudes, let’s hang out. Shoot the shit about what we’re getting into this week.
I’ll go first!
Shazam!
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SpaceX Crew Dragon capsule has successfully docked with the International Space Station. Three cheers for privatizing space!
I’m pretty fucking stoked that SpaceX successfully launched its rocket, and docked with the ISS. At the same time, I’m bummed that it’s going to be Musk and a bunch of billionaire dickheads that colonize the Microsoft Galaxy and Planet Starbucks.
Space Swoon: Hubble captures a gorgeous tapestry of thousands of stars. Fucking universe, man!
Here’s a little batch of cosmic glory for you motherfuckers, on this Friday. It’s a gorgeous tapestry taken by the Hubble Space Telescope, and captures thousands of stars. I said, thousands!
Hit the jump for the full glory and details!
Weekend Open Bar: Out the Other Side!
Hey, friends! We’ve come out the other side of another week. And, it feels good! Lots of bullshit and miscellany peppering my tits this week! Planning for a summer class that has almost no form or guidance from above. The inexorable pain of not being able to take a crap, because I’m so fucking stressed. But, hey, whatever, the fucking week is over! I have my health, my job (for now), and Dulcolax!
Perhaps most importantly, I got this fucking community! And, I hope you’ll spend some time with me this weekend.
Let me know!
As the pandemic drones dully onward, what are you up to this weekend? To combat the ennui? To stave of the dreadful sense of perpetuity this whole ordeal is taking on? Are you going for a hike in the nice weather? Doing jackknifes into your pool? Lathering your nipples in sunscreen and sprinting through Target, screaming (while wearing a mask, obviously)?
It’s all fodder for fascinating conversation here at the Open Bar!
Sony announces PlayStation 5 event for June 4th. Hope they show actual decent amount of gameplay, unlike fucking Microsoft’s event
Sony’s finally giving us something fucking PlayStation 5 related, folks. It’s going to be an event next week, where they’ll showcase PS5 games. This is dope as hell in theory, if they actually show gameplay unlike Microsoft’s fucking Xbox Series X presser.
‘Upgrade’ TV series coming from director Leigh Whannell and Blumhouse. This fucking rocks, dudes.
Upgrade was a rad-ass movie that like 0% of the population saw. You fucking chodes. However, director Leigh Whannell is bringing it to television. This is it, your second chance. Watch this TV series, fools.
Martin Scorsese teaming-up with Apple to make expensive-ass ‘Killers of the Flower Moon’ movie adaptation
First he partnered with Netflix, and now Scorsese has found another streaming behemoth to help fund his next movie. Dude is teaming-up with Apple for Killers of the Flower Moon. It’s the fucking future, baby!
Xbox Series X gonna be able to improve older games with HDR and 120 fps. Excessive, but neat
Another week, another pretty cool nugget about the Xbox Series X. The motherfucker is gonna be able to enhance older games, adding support HDR and 120 fps. Is it necessary? Not really. Is it neat? You bet. Meanwhile, in Sony’s camp? Crickets.
Henry Cavill in talks to return as Superman in upcoming DC movie. Sure, why not?
Henry Cavill! Dude is apparently in talks to return as Superman in a movie. Not a Man of Steel sequel, though. Some other shit. My thoughts? Sure, why not! Dude was functional enough, especially given the scripts he had to work with.
Christopher Nolan crashed a real Boeing 747 for ‘Tenet’ instead of using CG. Fucking respect, man.
Christopher Nolan crashed a motherfucking Boeing 747 for Tenet, instead of using CG. My word. Bro doesn’t fuck around. Dude loves shooting on film, and apparently he also loves crashing shit instead of using shitty looking rendered visuals.
