Monday Morning Commute: Five Years In A Lifetime

monday morning commute five years in a lifetime

The Universe, as expressed through time, don’t give two tugs of Fate’s tits about us, my friend. And in some ways, that’s pretty fucking freeing. Lord knows, we’re fucking it up down here with an alacrity and casualness that would definitely piss off most religion’s Gods. But, they don’t exist and we’re alone, and the Universe is just humming along. Indifferent, but wonderful. Detached, but in a sort of measured, comforting manner.

Anyways, the whole reason I started babbling about existence, the Cosmos not even mustering a shrug at humanity, and all this happy horseshit is thus: I’m celebrating my five-year anniversary on Saturday. What the absolute fuck, how the absolute fuck have five years passed already?

In many ways, 2015 was a severe mid-series reboot of my existence. To the extent that, while I don’t regret any of the choices, I would never stack such changes on top of one another so quickly. In the span of three months I got married, bought a house, and got a dog.

There was a moment that autumn where I asked myself, “Who the fuck am I? And what the fuck am I doing?” in a sort of feverish worry.

But, now it’s difficult to picture myself not living with my wife, walking my dog, or fondly returning to my small house. Which is an overly opaque way of saying I enjoy my life, and I find myself smiling now at the chaos. Perhaps that’s the goal, to be able to come out the other side of the Tumult, and be able to smile at it.

Who knows. I’m bloviating, per usual.

Only tangentially related to that saccharine blast of textual diarrhea is this here column, Monday Morning Commute! Or, maybe I’m just being disingenuous. ‘Cause when I think of what I enjoy most in my life, spending time here and on Twitch with the rest of the OL community is high on the list.

So my dudes, let’s hang out. Shoot the shit about what we’re getting into this week.

I’ll go first!




Nothing much really popping off in the world of TV for me. My wife Sam and I have crushed the first season of What We Do In The Shadows, and I imagine we will turn our All-Consuming Gaze towards its second as early as this evening. After we finish that, then what? Bateman and Pluto have been pushing The Magicians on me, with Bateman saying Sam will enjoy it as well. So, perhaps that shit!

the last of us part 2

[Video Games]

The looming release of The Last of Us II this month has lit a fire under my ass. I really need to polish off Final Fantasy 7 Remake prior to it dropping which gives me eighteen days or so. Honestly? I don’t think I’ll need that many. As a bipolar is wont to do, my gaming comes in floods and droughts. And, I’ve been digging in to the title hardcore the last week or so. Will I have completed it by this time next week? There’s a good chance.

Meanwhile! Bateman and I are going to begin 3BC in Dead Cells this week. I’m stoked to ratchet up the difficulty yet again. 2BC was no joke, but clearing it in two days was a but surprising. Need something to foster concentration and effort, as opposed to swinging the heavy crossbow and letting necromancy cover my sloppy play in 2BC.



As I said, my wife and I are celebrating our five-year anniversary on Saturday! But, what does a celebration look like in the age of COVID-19? Honestly, like not much! Ain’t no restaurants to dine-in, plus she’s got her 500-hour yoga training this weekend.

She’s a 200-hour licensed teacher, but this next rung lets her create her own trainings, and blah blah. I think having to do it via Zoom because of the pandemic has dinted her excited, but none the less: one weekend a month she’s pretty much booked 12:00-8:00 pm on Saturday and Sunday. I think we’re going to try and sneak-in some takeout during her training’s dinner time break, but who the fuck knows.

What does that mean for me, then? It means I want you to fucking rage with me stream on Saturday to celebrate! Specifically, let’s uh, just hang out per usual.

In groovier news, I’ve been mountain biking with Bateman. In all honestly, I’m probably going to get thrown from my bike sooner than later. But, I imagine you’ll all appreciate me even more on stream if I’m wearing an eye-patch and missing a tooth.


I know I’ve mentioned her before, but I fucking love Cynthia Rockroth. The Wheel chose Undefeatable for Bags and me on Saturday, and boy it didn’t disappoint. All the fantastically bad acting and plot you’d expect from a low-budget martial arts flick. But, it also featured all the fantastically gripping and exhilarating fight choreography you’d expect from a Rothrock movie. I say this without irony: if you dig God-Tier fight scenes, chasing down Cynthia Rothrock movies is more than worth it. Plus, I’m a bit fucking smitten with her.

night shift

[The Summer of Stephen]

Still reading The Stand! Honestly, I’ve slowed down a bit as of late. This flagging can be attributed to me dumping a ton of hours into Final Fantasy 7 Remake. That said, I’m angling to finish it sooner than later. At about 700 pages in, all the various characters and consequences are beginning to coalesce. Definitely still digging it, definitely excited to see where it goes from here.

As well, the work I’m tackling after the novel will be King’s collection of short stories, Night Shift. The Summer of Stephen continues onward.


I don’t know, dudes! That’s about it! Nothing special, but nothing awful. And these days? That feels like a full bore victory.

What’s up with you?