Donald Levine, the creator of ‘G.I. JOE’, has passed away

Donald Levine.

The creator for G.I. Joe passed away on Thursday. While I never knew the good sir Donald Levine by name, what he unleashed on the world has certainly sculpted my grey matter to some extent. From a young age I’ve been certain that knowing was half the battle, and have wandered aimlessly, anxiously, despairingly, wondering what the fuck the other half was.

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Skottie Young’s EARTHWORM JIM is grooovvvyyy

Skottie Young does Earthworm Jim.

More Skottie Young goodness.

STEVEN S. DEKNIGHT is the new ‘DAREDEVIL’ SHOWRUNNER

Steven S. DeKnight.

It hasn’t taken long for the Marvel Machinery to conjure up a replacement showrunner for their Daredevil show on Netflix. Like, what, forty-eight hours? Even that? The turnstiles continue rotating. Drew Goddard out! Steven S. DeKnight in!

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MILES MORALES joining ‘ALL-NEW X-MEN’ First, how? Second, awesome.

Miles Morales.

Miles Morales – my one and true Spider-Man – is somehow joining the All-New X-Men. Which answers the question, “What could finally get Caff-Pow to read All-New X-Men?” In truth, our own Johnny Hotsauce has finally shoved me onto the precipice of reading it anyways. But now, I’m diving off the ledge! I’m not particularly certain of the mechanics that’ll bring Morales to the proper Marvel Universe. I also don’t particularly care.

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DREW GODDARD leaving ‘DAREDEVIL’ TV Show.

Drew Goddard

LOOK AT THE IMAGE. THINGS ARE SERIOUS. MARVEL IS IN TROUBLE!!!!~!!! Naw, I’m fucking around. Not fretting that much. And yet. Well, when it rains, it pours. And it’s currently pouring ill-fated piss all over Marvel’s face this weekend. Drew Goddard has thrown the deuces up and left the company’s Daredevil TV show. This seems more a case of the dude having too much to do. And while it’s a shame, shoutout to my hyperbolic header image for not really capturing how I feel about it. Which is more of a shrug and a “dang.”

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Que? NETFLIX wants ‘WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER’ TV series

Wet Hot American Summer.

Wait — what? This is really fucking unexpected, but also pretty gosh damn cool.

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EDGAR WRIGHT left ‘ANT-MAN’ over forced SHITTY SCRIPT REWRITE

Edgar Wright.

TL:DR EDITION FOLKS: Edgar Wright has left Ant-Man over a fucking dreadful script rewrite. A rewrite that wasn’t brought on by Kevin Feige, but rather high-up Disney No Knowing Dick Lord Czars. Maybe just as concerning? Joss Whedon supports Wright, so lord knows if the Fanboy King will persist in the MCU after finishing Avengers: Age of Ultron.

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Sony CEO thinks PS4 will exceed PS2 profits. BIG WORDS, BRO

 

Kaz Hirai Hogan.

Kaz Hirai ain’t fucking around! Surfing the PS4’s excellent sales like they were a mescaline-and-codeine wave of narcotic hyperbole, the motherfucker is tripping all sorts of arrogant balls. Proclaiming that the PS4’s profits will exceed that of the wunderkind PS2. Dream big, bro. Do drugs, bro. Take off your pants in a Walmart, bro. Right in the electronics section. Stick a Dual Shock 4 straight up your ass, yelling “I made this! It can go where I want it to!” The world is yours.

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EDGAR WRIGHT has LEFT ‘ANT-MAN’ over creative differences

Ant-Man.

The MCU was going way too smoothly, right? This was bound to happen. Eventually. Shame that this announcement MAKES MY ASSHOLE QUIVER WITH SADNESS. One of the most anticipated flicks in the MCU with one of my favorite directors has now found that relationship sundered.

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Because Of Course: SAMSUNG working on its own OCULUS RIFT RIVAL

HEADSETHEADSETHEADSET

Do you know what you are if you’re a tech company, and you’re not working on a VR headset? A BIG FAT TURKEY, ASS-EATER. Now mind you I’m okay with a) turkeys and b) eating ass, but I’m just typing that the voices tell me I should type.

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