Nolan’s blockbuster ‘Tenet’ delayed yet again, this time until August 12. Bro, just stop dating it for fuck’s sake
Tenet‘s been delayed again, folks! August 12! This must deeply frustrate Extremely Humble Director Christopher Nolan, who wants Tenet to be the movie that saves movie theaters. No, seriously. And it’s led to him pressuring WB to release the movie this summer. But, the result of all that shit? The flick getting continuously delayed, as COVID lights our social lives on fire. Almost fucking comical at this point, right? Like, fellas. Just give it a date when everything isn’t coming apart at the seams.
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‘Cyberpunk 2077’ anime coming from ‘Kill la Kill’ and ‘Gurren Lagann’ studio. This is so fucking choice!
Holy gloriously swollen-taint, friends! My favorite anime studio is bringing a Cyberpunk 2077 anime to Netflix. Like, I say goddamn!
CERN has approved the plans for a $23 billion, 62-mile long super-collider. Study that Higgs boson, fellas!
CERN has approved the plans for a new super-collider, friends. And this one? It’s fucking four times bigger than the existing one. 62 miles long! They’re getting ready to study that Higgs boson with even more fucking precision.
Karate Kid sequel series ‘Cobra Kai’ is moving to Netflix with Season 3. Fuck, I gotta watch this shit
Everyone! Everyone I’ve fucking spoken to has said Cobra Kai is awesome. So man, I need to stop fucking around and start watching it. Especially now that it’s heading to Netflix.
Michael Keaton returning as Batman in ‘The Flash’ movie, maybe more. This is so fucking good.
Friends, the best Batman is returning. Michael Keaton will once again be donning the cowl, beginning with The Flash movie.
Guinness World Records has reinstated notorious chode Billy Mitchell’s ‘Donkey Kong’ high scores
Mark one down for the fuckboi! Billy Mitchell’s Donkey Kong high scores have been reinstated by Guinness World Records. However, dude is still not recognized by Twin Galaxies. The King of Kong drama, man!
NASA spacecraft so far away it sees stars at a new angle. Cosmic perspective, breh!
NASA’s New Horizons is fucking far away, folks. How far away? Well, I’ll tell ya! Especially if you didn’t read the headline. The motherfucker is so far away, its seeing stars at a different angle.
Weekend Open Bar: Ascending Mt. Pleasant
Woo, woo, baby! It’s the first fucking weekend of the summer semester, and I’m torqued! Got a little The Last of Us Part II to endure. Got The Warriors queued up for the flick tonight. As well, got a really impressive testicles-stink, with the muggy, hot weather descending upon the region. In other words, shit is definitely good. But, maybe they could be better? How, you ask? It’s fucking simple!
If you mofuckin’ denizens of the Space-Ship hang out with me this weekend, here at the Weekend Open Bar!
Scientists have grown “mini-brains” in petri dish using Neanderthal DNA. What could go wrong?
Hey! Fuck it, right? The world is on fire. Might as well grow some fucking “mini-brains” using Neanderthal DNA. Let’s go for broke, friends.
‘Cyberpunk 2077’ has been delayed two-months until November. Looks like gonna be played on my fucking PS5!
Cyberpunk 2077 has been delayed. Again. Until November. But truthfully, I don’t give a fuck. I want them to take as much time as needed. As well, it’ll let my ass play it on my PlayStation 5. Which, given the enormous demands of the game, makes me happy.
