I’m still wading through the seemingly unconquerable amount of SDCC news that drifted into the sewer of pop culture wherein I live. So forgive me for just finding this trailer. Which, I’m going to admit, I enjoyed.

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Guy Ritchie rules. The Man From UNCLE was hilarious, stylish, fun. That apparently only Pluto and I saw, but fuck if we weren’t dying laughing in our seats. I’m in for this movie, I’m in for any movie Ritchie makes. And I’m dragging Eddie along with me.

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I started this series doing some serious base building. I could feel I was getting behind the games power curve so I was looking for some quick XP. I did nothing but build up 4 settlements, set up supply lines and try to get a steady supply of food and water as the next few quests were pretty far south and I knew all that running meant I would need to have supplies.

After I left the safety of my settlements I proceeded to die. A lot. One shot by a radscorpion. Two shot by a ghoul I didn’t see. One shot by a mine. One shot by a stray grenade that was thrown while I was in VATS and immediately blew up when I exited. Beat to death by a baseball bat weilding raider. The list goes on. Between level 10 and 20 I was beatdown and humbled many times over. At one point, I really did want to quit.

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Nintendo is like, “You think we’re a joke for relying on peripherals? Check out this shit!”, not unlike a pissed-off, petulant teenager. I mean, that’s the explanation for it, right?

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Because, of course. The teats must be reddened with the incessant suckling, the milk must flow! Oh, fuck do I know. If this is true, I’ll mark out and enjoy them. I’m sure. I’m worthless.

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Fuck yeah! After the JLA trailer, I’m excited for The Flash. I mean, I was excited when it was announced that Rick Famuyiwa would be directing it. And more excited when it was rumored that Kiersey Clemons would be in it. But now she’s definitely in it, Ezra Miller seems dope as The Flash, and the Dope director is helming it.

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Want to meet the new Ravagers from GoTG 2? Here they are! Hit the jump for their names!

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Monday Morning Commute! On a Monday Evening! Truthfully, this tardiness is, relativistically speaking, pretty good compared to my usual antics. In fact, this column would have slithered out of my mind-hole earlier had the words come to me. Sometimes the Muses toss lightning bolts up your ass, and you feel Empowered. Emboldened. Surfing The Edge. Sometimes the Muses retreat to a 7-Eleven bathroom to trib with faeries and knaves and satyrs. Coating themselves in the slickening sugary confections we pass off as food, writhing in wrappers and detritus, orgasming in supplication to the Eternal Engine which neither Cares nor Notices us.

Today? For me? The Muses are fucking around with the fucking faeries in the fucking bathroom.  But still, I persist. But still, I exist. Put that on a Hallmark card and staple it onto my forehead, I know it’s fucking lame.

Today? For me? I’m going to write this column anyways. Even though the Muses ain’t here. I’m going to tell you everything I’m excited about this week. Even though the Muses ain’t here. I’m going to ask you to join me, vapid, broken, banal me, in the comments section, letting me know what you are excited for this week. Even though the Muses ain’t here.

Well? Shall we?

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Oh yeah, this movie!

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This show is being produced by Noah Hawley. It’s on FX. It’s a tenuous X-Men spin-off. For the reasons listed before, I will watch this. Mainly because of Noah Hawley, though.

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