Chris Pratt-starring ‘Cowboy Ninja Viking’ adaptation is arriving in theaters in 2019, pinky swear
I’ve been writing about the Chris Pratt/Cowboy Ninja Viking project for a while, with my apex-boner arriving back in the day when the John Wick directors were attached. They ain’t anymore, unfortunately, but now at least the movie has a release date. And! Back in the day, it had a script by the Deadpool dudes. Is that script still being used? I ain’t got a fucking clue. So, pending script and director, I’m cautiously optimistic about this adaptation of a comic series I damn enjoyed.
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Milla Jovovich joins ‘Hellboy: Rise of the Blood Queen’ as the titular villain, and I’m pumped
I’m just going to throw my chips in with this Hellboy reboot. The cast was already to my taint-tickling delight, and now it has added Milla Jovovich. Why not just be optimistic? Eh?! Hopper from Stranger Things? Resident Evil Lady?! Odin from American Gods?!?
Disney ending deal with Netflix to create its own streaming service. Great, another friggin’ one
It seems obvious that Netflix and Disney are in a War to Absorb All Our Pop Culture. The latest shot in the war finds Disney severing their ties with Netflix, and intent on creating their own streaming service. Man. Remember those halcyon days when we all thought that cord-cutting was going to save us money? Seems so long ago. Now we’re all scrambling, trying to find someone’s Hulu login, while bartering with our own fucking Netlix login to gain someone else’s HBO Go password. Yeah, fuck. Now there’s another service, another one! Christ.
‘American Vandal’ Trailer: The Ball Hairs…They’re Different in Netflix’s True Crime Satire
Netflix is putting out an eight-episode skewering of their own true crime proclivity, and it is centered on penis graffiti. Yup, that’s where we’re at, folks. And I love it.
‘Mother!’ Trailer: Seeing Is Believing In Aronofsky’s Next Film
NGL, not gonna lie, as the kids say (they don’t say this any longer, if they ever did, it’s me, old white guy, ruining phrases). I didn’t watch this mother! trailer. I’m already sold as fuck on Aronofsky’s next film. But, if you need some persuasion, check this motherfucker out. That may or may not be a pun, as I said, I didn’t watch this trailer.
David Letterman joining Netflix for new show, as company continues to absorb everything
Man. Netflix is officially giving Disney a run for its money, as the two seemingly vie to consolidate all of our pop culture under one umbrella. This, this can only end one way, right? With Disney buying Netflix.
Rumor: Daniel Craig signed on for *two* more ‘Bond’ movies. This can be explained with the dollar bill emoji
Daniel Craig previously swore he would rather die than play James Bond again. Now, rumors have him signing on for two more Bond movies. He must have uh, must have had a serious ($$$$$) change of heart (bank account).
Karl Urban in talks to join ‘Judge Dredd’ TV show. No, seriously, don’t tease us like this
Karl Urban is in talks to join the Judge Dredd TV show, with the actor cautioning that it’s just that — talks. His joining the show is dependent on it, you know, not sounding like it completely sucks. So, c’mon WizardsBehindTheShow, bathe your pitch in quality.
Japanese ‘Spider-Man: Homecoming’ poster kicks ass, defies universal laws about movie posters
What the fuck, Japanese Spider-Man: Homecoming poster. Haven’t you heard the fucking rules about movie posters? They’re supposed to suck diarrhea through a turd straw.
‘Deadpool 2’ News: Josh Brolin’s Cable looks jacked, armed, and covered in pouches in first official photos
Today, Josh Brolin as Cable in Deadpool 2 is my everything. Hit the jump for another look.
