Facebook is developing a cryptocurrency because what could go wrong. They only fuck up everything
Facebook! You know, the monolith that we all simultaneously hate and prostrate ourselves before? The one that fucks up everything? Well, this gang of chucklefuck morons is developing a cryptocurrency.
Mars Express orbiter snags gorgeous image of the Korolev Crater which is filled with pristine ice all damn year long
Man, check out this goddamn gorgeous image from Mars. FROM. MARS. Of the Korolev Crater, which is filled with flawless ice. All goddamn year long. Space. It fucking rules.
‘Daredevil’ and other Netflix Marvel shows COULD be revived according to the Head of Disney+
As the fucking Marvel and Netflix World turns, right? The latest pivot in the case of the cancelled Marvel shows on Netflix? The head of Disney+ says reviving them is a possibility. Bro, don’t. Don’t fuck with our hearts like this, unless you serious.
The Nintendo Switch is the fastest-selling console of this generation in America. I don’t fuck with it, but it’s good news nonetheless
Despite not really enjoying it (I sold mine), I respect and appreciate the Nintendo Switch. So, I dig the news that it’s the fastest-selling console of this generation. The gaming world is just more interesting when Nintendo is relevant, right?
Astronomers have found “Farout” which is the most-distant known object in our solar system
Astronomers have found Farout, friends. It’s the most-distant known object in our solar system. And you’re itching to ask, what exactly is Farout? They ain’t fucking sure! Maybe a dwarf planet! Or, dare we say it, perhaps Planet X? None the less, we found it, and it’s damn far away. About 11.15 billion miles from the sun.
Monday Morning Commute: Can’t Stop. Won’t Stop.
“Runfer, what hell should we do? Runfer?!”
“Sorry, Harry! Goddamn crystal fragments in my eyes…gimme a readin’!”
“The lights’re blinkin’ red to blue to yellow.”
“Fuck.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Y’know what red to blue to yellow means?”
“Yeah, it means we’re down to two engines.”
“Right. And y’know what that means?”
“Other than the obvious?”
“It means that if we don’t muster up some serious elbow grease, there’s gonna be some serious blood on our hands.”
Runfer never thought he’d want to return to the job. Hell, who could blame him? Overseeing the engine room of Starforce One is a thankless nightmare. Everything’s perfect? No one notices. Anything’s wrong? Everyone notices.
And a situation like this? Engines blowing out? Smoke billowing all about? The very real possibility that the uncaring vacuum will tear the ship asunder?
The prospect is enough to prevent most men from ever even thinking about applying.
But Runfer wasn’t most men. He’d already retired. Twice. He’d already paid his dues, already done his duty, already decided he’d spend the rest of his days on a pleasure planet, getting rubdowns from his mistress. And nobody could’ve said shit.
So when Central Command called Runfer, desperate to replace the so-called prodigy whose chest pains got him medical’d less than a year into the gig, no one who knew him was surprised when he picked up the phone. And no one who’d worked with him was surprised when he was back aboard Starforce One the very next day.
`Cause some men will tell you that they just want to relax. They’ll jabber on about sleeping in late and drinking cocktails. They’ll declare fealty to Lord Relaxation. But when told there’re going to be fires to be put out and danger to run into, these goddamn maniacs lace up their boots and make room in their lungs for the smoke.
Two engines down, crystal shards cutting up his eyelids, and toxic fumes bathing over him, Runfer smiled the incorrigible smile of a goddamn maniac.
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Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE!
First, I toss a bit of drivel-fiction at you. Then, I show off what I’ll be doing throughout the week. Lastly, you hit up the comments section and share what you’ll be doing to survive the workweek.
You’ve either done this before or you’ll catch on quick — LET’S ROCK!
Matt Reeves ‘Batman’ script rewrites are due by the end of the year. Get hopping, broseph!
I’m sure Warner Bros. is glad that they’re about to have another hit with Aquaman. But as with anything in the DCEU, all roads lead back to Batman. So, what’s going on with that project? The latest has it that a final draft is due by the end of 2019.
