The whirlwind continues! Who the funk shall be playing the nerdy scientist/green avalanche of destruction, rippling muscle, and awesome purple shorts? Mark Ruffalo? Maybe?

via slashfilm:

Deadline reports is that Mark Ruffalo is in ‘late stage talks’ to be the new Bruce Banner and Incredible Hulk in The Avengers. That’s all the info we’ve got right now, but I love the idea. I’ve enjoyed Ruffalo’s work for a long time, and while his basic mode is pretty much the polar opposite of The Avengers, I think he could be great fun. Think of his performance in The Brothers Bloom modulated by his serious but pulpy work in Shutter Island. Yeah, this may do nicely. More details as they come in.

UPDATE: THR says that the deal-making process for Ruffalo isn’t as far along as Deadline made it sound. According to the trade, an offer is out to Ruffalo, which he is considering, but he hasn’t met with Joss Whedon. THR says they may meet late this week or over the pre-Comic Con weekend.

Mark Ruffalo was in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. That’s enough for me. Sold.com It’s interesting to see as Marvel is scrambling like fuck to get someone cast. You just know their wet dreams involved being able to roll out the entire ensemble at ComiCon.

Edward Norton? No!

Joaquin Phoenix? No!

Mark Ruffalo? Maybe!

[legend has it that Ernest Hemingway wrote a six-word story to win a bar bet — For sale: baby shoes, never worn. leading to the author’s birthday, I’m going to offer a daily post of my own six-word story. readers are encouraged to respond with their own]

It’s just not in me anymore.

[photo]

Beware! The Mastomegalobot-Rex is on the prowl! It desires your spine between its teeth! If even! At three-thousand feet tall, with metallic teeth the size of skyscrapers, it will hardly register your demise!

As it!

Smashes through!

Cities and states alike!

Bred by the evil Dr. Maniacal Guy with the desire to restore a paradoxical order of chaos to the primordial beings who dare dream of understanding the Deity, it knows nothing but glee in your spilled blood!

The Mastomegalobot-Rex! The most vile of commie threats, endangering our sovereignty and capitalism as we know it! Powered by vodka and sickles, it won’t stop until we all know the horror of decimation and bread liness!

The Mastomegalobot-Rex!

Oh hey, check it out! It’s the PlayStation Move bundle! Well, let’s see what it has. Hm. A lame waggle-remote thing. That still can’t provide me with a masturbation simulation. And a sports game! Archery and shit! Why, this sounds like the same shit that was packaged four years ago! Nintendo Wii, and Wii Sports.

OMFG. If this was bizarro world, I’d be totally stoked right now.

Get it?!

It’s late.

I came across this video today over at Slashfilm, and it’s pretty tremendous. Why can’t this shit ever happen to me on the subway?

via slashfilm:

Improv Everywhere   is a group of New Yorkers who love to “cause scenes of chaos and joy in public places.” You’ve surely seen many videos of their previous stunts, as many of them have gone viral around the interwebs. Their latest mission was to reenact he first Princess Leia / Darth Vader scene from Star Wars on a New York City subway car.

Seriously, what the fuck. Whenever I’m on a subway the most exciting thing that happens to me is that guy who is leaning against the last seat on the train, smelling of piss and reminding me of my future.

Hit the jump and check out subway action not involving homelessness or urine.

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[Search Engine Terms come from an app in the Word Press dashboard. It tells you the terms that people are using in google to lead to your site. Most of ours are ultra depraved and horrible. And amusing to sick people like me.]

In the future, when you can create your own temporal temporary bio-organic constructs out of your Matter Master 4000, you’ll be able to create your own Bayonetta construct. Built out of ultra-decay flesh that gives away after twelve hours, and no consciousness but a list of traits you string together in the Matter Master 4000 software, she’ll be able to jerk you off for that sweet half day. And after her inevitable combustion into a pile of pseudo-snot and black leather-gone-goop, you’ll be able to flush her down the toilet and forget about her.

But for now? You just need to google “Bayonetta Handjob” and live vicariously through scribblings. Sorry.

How do you bring together hardcore gamers and the most ballingly casual system out there? Fuggin’ Metroid: Other M. And if yesterday’s opening cinematic got your Kubrick all sweaty, then today’s gameplay is going to get your fingers twitching. Metroid: Other M is officially the next game I’m sweating with the unreluctant, unfettered passion of an aggravated Mel Gibson. Rimshot, offended groan.

Hit the jump and get down wit me, yo.

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If there’s one thing that I know for certain, it is that the thinkers of the past envisioned a way cooler future than we’ve gotten.

via io9:

In the 1960s, United States Steel released Power Styling, a book of remodeled electrical stations that crackled with modernist flair. The book imagines a mod future in which “electrical engineer” is the sexiest gig on the planet.

Man. If they could see us now. I mean, we’re pretty fucking impressive, don’t get me wrong. But we’re also a bloated landscape of neon signs and advertisements. I think our highways would give Past-Us nightmares.

Welcome to Variant Covers! Your go-to for blathering about weekly comic releases. Forsooth! Apologies for bringing you this worthless slap-dab piece of bologna on a Wednesday! I encountered difficulties yesterday that I could not foresee. Sometimes a man must storm a bingo game armed only with a kabuki mask and genitals slathered in toothpaste. And sometimes that man must be screaming at the top of his lungs that the “Menthol burns so well” and that his “Seed can rejuvenate the most lost one here!” And apparently that results in getting arrested. Land of the free my ass.

—-

The Bulletproof Coffin #2
Did you check out the first Bulletproof Coffin when it dropped? Yes? Well, then you are a superior organic being! I did not. I did not hear about it until a generous reader of this column decided to eradicate the clouds of my dumb-assery with the bright beams of illumination. Plato’s Cave and all that shit! And sadly, even if I had known about it, my comic book shop wouldn’t have carried it. You see, this comic book is by Image, doesn’t feature modern day superhero theatrics, and is really, really, weird.

If you’re like me!, hop over to a fucking free digital copy of the first issue here.

Being only two issues deep, I’m not particularly certain what the whole jib-jab is about yet. The first issue had a good butt-load of things going on. And we’re talking like, the butt-load of an enormous ass. Cavernous. Cottage-cheesed out like you wouldn’t believe.

On the surface, the comic book is about a dude named Steve, who cleans out dead people’s houses. One day he comes across a house filled with ridiculous Golden Age nostalgia, featuring issues of comic books that went past what he thought were their last issues. Taking the shiznit home, he reads the comic, put out by Golden Nugget, which was put out of business by Big 2. After which, he fiddled around with the dead dude’s television, only to watch what he thinks is the dude’s death.

It’s complicated. I’m not going it justice. But I promise, it’s fantastic.

So on one level we have an exploration of the comic book industry, and the death of the Golden Age. Major props for Steve commenting on how much he hated “Z-Men: The Final Meltdown.” Weaving through it, we seem to be getting an exploration of Steve’s life, as he returns to his mundane existence with family and children, only to hide in the attic in bask in his past. It’s the sort of archetypal story of Golden Pasts and Disappointing Futures that I’ve come to love.

And? It’s really, really odd. Buy it. You’ll love it.

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Superman #701
This week, J. Michael comes aboard the Superman train. And coming aboard what he calls his “dream job” or something and such, he’s bringing the heat! Yessir, we’re going to be getting what we’ve wanted finally in a Superman book: walking. Uh. Wait? What?

Walking?

THE MENTHOL BURNS SO GOOD!

J. Michael has Superman walking cross-country in “Grounded”, which is apparently a twelve-issue storyline. Oh good lord. Seriously? I can respect the idea, which is to have Superman connect with his human side and get to know people and the like. However. However! Grant Morrison wrote the most human Superman in years in his run on All-Star, and he did it while having the Man of Heat Vision performing some absolutely ridiculous feats.

There’s a way to intertwine the two worlds, without having to take twelve-issues to have him walking across country.

That said, maybe it’ll be good. Who knows! This fence I’m sitting on?! It’s so comfortable!

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Keep Reading »

Props to my friend Jill for bringing this picture to my attention. And subsequently scarring my poor eyes. Drink in the first official photo of Anthony Hopkins as Odin and Some Dude as Loki.

Thoughts? I think it looks lame as fuck. However, since I’m trying to keep my P(ositive) M(ental) A(ttitude), I’m going to hope the suits and appearance look less barf-full when we see them in context. Remember how goofy Nolan’s Batman suit looked when we all first saw it? It was set against white or something and I was all “Uhhhhh.”

Yeah, maybe it’ll be that way. I hope.