Oh shit! It’s Friday! Well, it’s actually Thursday evening while I type this. But none the less, it’s time for Press Start! Your one-stop shop for my blatherings about the five things that caught my eye this week in the world of video games. I’m going to level with you guys. I’m fucking tired. This column is powered by nothing less than hate, caffeine, and eye-burning fury. Straight off a week of Gertrude Stein and Piaget, I have, with little to no love, cobbled together this bullshit for you. Per usual, hit the comments box with your lovely findings in the world of video games this week.

#1: OH Shit, Fallout’s Pip-Boy Is Real!
You have to hand it to those fascist fucking pigs over running the Military Industrial Complex over in Washington. At the very least, they know how to make my nerd dreams come true. Latest case in point? They’re developing something that is very, very, very similar to a fucking Pip-Boy. The son of a bitch you see in the above photo is called a wrist-mounted flexible PH-OLED display, and the motherfucker packs an “organic light emitting diode display is mounted on thin, flexible metal foil, which in turn is mounted on a wrist-wrapping housing to create a fully functional display and communication device.”

Yeah. Whatever. Let’s call a spade a fucking spade. This son of a bitch is a Pip-Boy. Clearly the government has honed into some telepathic projection of a forthcoming apocalypse, and per good intentions, have begun culling video games for ways to survive the wasteland. Or, I could be losing my mind.

Whatever it is, the future is here, and it’s fucking awesome.

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#2: Sir Arthur Is About To Polish His Lance In Marvel vs. Capcom 3
Last week at New York Comicon, right after I posted Press Start!, awesomeness happened. Fucking Sir Arthur, or Ghouls and Ghosts fame, was announced as a playable character in Marvel vs. Capcom 3. Now, if you’re over the age of twenty and you consider yourself a gamer, relax. That rushing feeling in your loins is the dorkery-based engorgement of your genitals. Fucking awesome. The cast of MvC3 continues to get more and more righteous, and with Sir Arthur at the table, I’m ready for this shit.

Deadpool? Wesker? Sir Arthur? Amazing.

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#3: Nathan Fillion Wants Nathan Drake
It’s a match made in fanboy heaven. Nathan Fillion, the dude who creams the panties of overweight nerd chicks wants to play the part of Nathan Drake in the upcoming Uncharted movie. The guy who has inspired countless dickheads who think they’re witty to prattle off insipid dialogue through countless pages of fan fiction wants in on David O. Russel’s next flick. Guys, even Whedon’s verbose. You’re just annoying. So our boy Fillion has begun campaigning for the part. Actively. Across the infowebs.

I always sort of cringe when an actor begins lobbying for a part. I mean, has that shit ever actually worked before? I mean, jesus christ!, remember Sean Young? She fucking sunk her career by her Catwoman antics. Does Fillion really think going about asking for the part pubically is going to work? And more importantly, does the dude actually want to work with Russel? I love his movies, but I’m pretty sure George Clooney wanted to throw him into a pile of nails wrapped in C4 by the end of Three Kings.

But still.

Everything aside, Fillion would be perfect for Drake. Why? ‘Cause if you’ve played Uncharted, it’s pretty clear that Nathan Fillion is Nathan Drake. Well, you know the fictionalized and idealized concept of Fillion. They look alike. They sound alike. The witty banter? So fucking Fillion. It makes almost too much sense.

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Jesus Christ, I know this is old, but I hadn’t seen it yet. The female model for Dragon Age II’s Hawke is fucking gorgeous. And powerful. Powerfully gorgeous. Gorgeously powerful. I more or less want her to take it to me with a strap-on while screaming incantations and making me swallow mana potions. I’m in love. I want to wear a plate metal girdle and have her throw me through walls before claiming me. Don’t tell my girlfriend.

Views From The Space-Ship, aka Desktop Tuesdays, aka Desktop Thursdays is a (theoretically) weekly column where I show you my worlds.

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SO yeah. The Lizard is the baddie in Marc Webb’s Spider-Man reboot, starring Andrew Garfield. Cool? I’m not getting particularly stoked, but that isn’t because I think the movie isn’t going to be deec. It’s got Webb and Garfield and that’s enough to have my interest. But Rhys Ifans as Dr. Curt Connors? Okay, sure! The sort of news which is worth noting, but really don’t get me feeling it in either direction.

I can appreciate the direction they seem to be taking with the new flick. No Goblin as the villain? No Mary Jane as the primary love interest? Parker is in college? Say what you will about how soon they’re rebooting the franchise, at least they’re putting a different stamp on it. Right? Sure!

What say you?

My favorite part of Inception was Thomas Hardy, and his role as Eames. So the fact that it was announced today that he was cast in Nolan’s third Batman movie has me doing an impressive array of karate kicks and fist-pumps. Holy Bat boner indeed. No word on who he is going to play, but as io9 points out, it’s pretty obvious: the dude has to play a villain. The Killer Croc that’s been speculated? Who the fuck knows. But whatever character he plays will ooze the undeniable awesomeness that the dude brings to the screen.

Here’s hoping that his casting doesn’t rule out my wet dream of seeing JGL as the Riddler. Let’s get the two of them back on screen together like wut.

Oh shiz! One of my favorite time killers between friends is to give Pepsibones and the programmer of this site, Senor Pedophilia a hard time when it comes to the Back to the Future sequels. Namely, I point out that they fucking suck. They recoil, and repel my aspersions. Time goes on. We chuckle. Hidden underneath that is the fact that I fucking love the original movie. A love I have to bury, lest it come into hurting my assholery.

But!, today burning up the internets is Back to the Future hotness. Michael J. Fox has recreated the Back To The Future trailer, shot-for-shot to promote the 2010 Scream Awards on Spike. God bless the nostalgia that will run down your spine, should you have been lucky enough to experience McFly back in the day.

Hit the jump for the nostalgic recreation, and the original for comparison.

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I didn’t play the first Force Unleashed, nor do I anticipate picking up the second one. However, these two trailers they’ve released for the game are enough to get my lightsaber ignited and pulsing in the darkness of my room. Underneath my Star Wars comforter.

These trailers, much like the Clone Wars cartoon (and maybe the CGI spin-off, I don’t know) remind me that there’s a pretty sexy gorgeous universe out there to be tilled, by anyone with some talent. That doesn’t mean you, George Lucas. Let someone else make something dope as fuck, please? Preferably Del Toro. You know, since I’m in fantasy land.

Hit the jump for the trailers. They’re pretty righteous.

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[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction.   Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]

When he thought about it logically, in the practical terms that really make the Earth go `round, Riff knew that there’s no way she’d get with him. She was too smart for him. Too hot for him. Too popular for him. Too old for him. “But I’ll be damned,” he thought, “if Ms. Lang isn’t the finest piece of ass in town.”

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Well fucking hell, there’s cracks in the universe? Usual caveat: it’s probably not correct, it’s highly contested, you know the drill. But let’s just bask in the hypothetical. These theoretical faultlines in the universe are called cosmic strings. The sons a bitches are broken links between different regions of the universe that arose as the universe cooled moments after the Big Bang. Good god, I knew that the universe were merely a program in the Universal Machine! And if all of this shit isn’t confusing enough to my fat brain with its greased synapses, these cosmic strings are one-dimensional, possessing only length, but not width or height. Bah?

io9:

Of course, that doesn’t capture the full measure of their one-dimensional weirdness. Since they have no width or height, they are incomprehensibly narrow, with a diameter that would make even a tiny photon look fat. They’re also dense, as a string that’s even a mile long would weigh considerably more than Earth. These strings expanded right along with the universe, ultimately stretching across the entire known universe in a more or less straight line, or forming massive rings many thousands of times bigger than our galaxy.

I just puked Doritos and Dew all over my fucking tits trying to comprehend this bullshit. My testicles puckered, and receded into my guts a little at this magnitude.

We’ve not yet directly observed these strings, but researchers at the University of Buffalo say they’ve found clear indirect proof. They studied 355 quasars – incredibly bright galaxies with super-massive black holes at their center – at the furthest corners of the observable universe. All quasars emit massive energy jets pointed in a particular direction, and through very careful study it’s possible to figure out the directions of the jets.

183 of those quasar jets lined up to form a pair of enormous rings in the sky, suggesting two massive circular structures exist – or had existed – to orient the direction of the jets. The only known candidates for such colossal structures are cosmic strings, providing compelling indirect evidence for them. If we confirm the existence of cosmic strings, it will greatly improve our understanding of the formation of the earliest galaxies.

Man, I can’t even see the TV from across the room, what the fuck is going on here? What lies beyond the cracks? This universe thing of ours has faulty hyperlinks, and faultlines. Fucking weird, yo. This universe thing of ours? Pretty fun.

Check out this ridiculous son of a bitch designed by Ben Heck. A fucking portable Xbox 360 Slim. Filed under: useless, but amazing. Heck goes the all the fucking way with this thing. He drops the specs on us:

You knew this was coming — the Xbox 360 Slim Portable.

Big differences compared to my older models:

About 1.5″ inches narrower left and right, 1″ narrower front to back.
Internal power supply.
Uses stock Xbox 360 Slim fan so it’s much quieter than my older 3 fan models.
Touch sensitive power and eject buttons of the Slim have been preserved.

Not so big differences:

Pushbutton control audio amplification.
Gateway 1775W 17″ widescreen LCD display @ 1280×720.
Fan grate design copied from PS3 Laptop design.
PVC plastic routed case.

Fucking ridiculous. Head over to Heck’s site for a shitload of more pictures, and a Youtube video that goes inside the constructing of this monolith.