The director behind the Empire Strikes Back totally became one with the Force today. Lame jokes ahoy! Seriously though, Irvin Kershner passed away tofay at the age of 87. Goddamn. As the director of my favorite installment of my favorite thing ever, the dude has a special place in my heart. Ah, mortality! You son of a bitch.

Rest in piece duder, high five Nielsen for all of us.

So it goes.

It’s being reported that Leslie Nielsen has died after a brief bout of pneumonia. As a child of the early 1990s, I’ll always remember Nielsen as Lieutenant Frank Drebin of the Naked Gun franchise. However, Leslie’s filmography extends far beyond those three masterpieces and he should be praised for producing an entire body of work – most of which was geared towards slapstick-abuse and crafty-wordplay.

If God lets Canadians into heaven, I have a feeling that Mr. Nielsen might be chilling with Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze.

What are we going to do when we consummate the inevitable? You know, destroying the Earth? Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’ll be throwing a fucking kegger on Rhea. It appears that one of Saturn’s sixty moons has a breathable atmosphere.

io9:

Saturn’s icy moon Rhea has an oxygen and carbon dioxide atmosphere that is very similar to Earth’s. Even better, the carbon dioxide suggests there’s life – and that possibly humans could breathe the air.

It seems oxygen is far more abundant than we ever suspected, particularly on moons that seem to be completely frozen solid. We recently found evidence of oxygen on Jupiter’s moons Europa and Ganymede, and now this finding on Europa. In fact, because the region of space surrounding Saturn’s rings has an oxygen atmosphere, it’s thought even more of the icy moons within the gas giant’s magnetosphere likely have little atmospheres of their own.

According to new data from the Cassini probe, the moon’s thin atmosphere is kept up by the constant chemical decomposition of ice water on the surface of Rhea. It’s likely that Saturn’s fierce magnetosphere is continually irradiating this ice water, which is what helps to maintain the atmosphere. Researchers suspect a lot of Rhea’s oxygen isn’t actually free right now, but is instead trapped inside Rhea’s frozen oceans.

Maybe. Fucking scientists. Someday there will be a statement that has the words “absolutely” or “certainly” or “positive” that I can get psyched for.   I’m waiting for the proclamation that’s like “Definitely hot chicks and Mountain Dew on Mars! Plus, small boners are cool there.” Try and stop me from getting on that space shuttle.

Now we’re talking about a Black Sabbath! What’s going on? Welcome to the Planet Omega, of the Inappropriate System. Stumbled across this web comic over at I Heart Chaos. I think it’s something like two years old, so stuff it with the “This shit is old!” nonsense. I’m aware. But fuck, it’s new to me.

What’s crackin? Sunday morning. Ripped to the tits on caffeine, contemplating a day filled with propelled leather objects, zombies, and sociopaths. Can you have a better Sunday than one filled with football, Dexter, and The Walking Dead? Probably. But it’s a pretty fucking good one.

Throw in Jesus Christ killing Nazis, and we’re golden!

Views From The Space-Ship, aka Desktop Tuesdays, aka Desktop Thursdays is a (theoretically) weekly column where I show you my worlds. Share your own in the comments section!

Pardon the tardiness! Yesterday I was busy stuffing myself to the brim with chocolates and the flesh of formerly animate organic objects. Step inside the hall of the Mental King, ya’ll.

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Did you just shit out the nineteen pounds of stuffing you conquered yesterday? Or are you like me, completely enraptured with the headline, but failing to comprehend the implications?

io9:

The world’s most powerful particle accelerator smashed together lead nuclei at the highest energies possible, creating dense sub-atomic particles that reach temperatures of over ten trillion degrees. Beyond being awesome, this achievement shows the early universe was actually a liquid.

Normal matter can’t exist in any form at these sort of absurdly hot temperatures. Instead, matter is thought to melt into a strange, soup-like substance known as quark-gluon plasma. Researchers are still investigating exactly what happens when this quark-gluon plasma emerges, but the early results seem to confirm the theory that the plasma acts like a liquid, not a gas.

Well uh, wait, then? So the entire universe existed as a soup-like substance known as quark-gluon plasma. That’s funny, since I seemed to blast some quark-gluon plasma inside my boxer-brief last night after my thirtieth pumpkin spice cookie.

io9:

“Although it is very early days we are already learning more about the early Universe. These first results would seem to suggest that the Universe would have behaved like a super-hot liquid immediately after the Big Bang.”

I love this sort of mind-warping speculation. I mean, since that’s what it really is, speculation. But it’s neat, no?

Dear Flesh Sacks,
Gather round. If you’re lucky enough to be reading this on our interwoven telecommunications grid that has ensnared this Earth, there is a good chance things could be going more poorly for you. Fuck me you say? Fuck me indeed!

Nonetheless, it is without irony that both the Brothers Omega consider themselves delusional enough to feel themselves lucky to still be aspirating. So, to those foolish enough to gather around these parts. To those unfortunate enough to have us as family. To those silly enough to consider us friends; happy fucking Thanksgiving.

I can only hope you celebrate it properly. I demand your caloric consumption be insane. I demand you imbibe your drink of choice – whether it be alcoholic or fruit, until you piss laser beams. And finally I demand your mirth be great.

[images & words is the comic book pick-of-the-week at OL. equal parts review and diatribe, the post highlights the most memorable/infuriating/entertaining book released that wednesday]

It’s Wednesday! And today is an especially wonderful Wednesday as it is the day before Thanksgiving! In an effort to prepare for our annual harvest festival of reprehensible origins, many of us have been given a half-day of work. Numbered among these fortunate folks, I have made the best use possible of my newfound free time: reading comics.

So what’s this week’s best release, the single issue that entertained and thrilled and intrigued more than any other? This honor belongs to THOR: The Mighty Avenger #6. If you’ve been following this series, you’re probably not surprised. In its short run, THOR: The Mighty Avenger has established itself as an incredibly well-rounded rounded book, providing humor and action and visuals that maintain a universal appeal. If I had to guess, I would say that this series will not only rack up a ton of Eisners but secure a dedicated readership for many moons.

What’s that? Oh. Well. Goddamn.

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Over at My Modern Met, they have a ridiculous story about Punch Me Panda. Nate Hill is an artist who dresses up in a panda suit and invites people to wail on his stomach. Fucking amazing. The idea is to serve as a whipping post, designed to reduce stress in the average chap. How goddamn brilliant is that? I mean, I often consider much of what Rendar and myself do around the house and with friends as performative art. Sometimes it’s hard to find where our act ends and our psyches really begin. Or I mean, do they, ever?

But this shit is a notch above.

Hill elaborates on the get-up and his goals as the Kung-Fu (receiving) Panda at Modern Met:

Hill ordered the panda suit on eBay and bought the biggest chest protector he could find on the internet. He wanted to offer a public service – to relieve people’s stress through violence. He gets punched (and roundhouse kicked) about 100 times a day.

“I choose the panda suit because the panda face really melts people’s heart,” says Hill. “I wanted to have people get out their aggression on something cute. It’s fun to have that contradiction. This is an art project. I’m not just a thrill seeker.”

Fantastic. I always wish I had the testicles or throbbing ovaries to go about doing something like this. Maybe running around Main Street Suburbia in a Scream mask whipping Snickers off people. Something like that. The life fantastic. Until then, it’s vicariousness like what.

Hats off, Mr. Hill.

Via. Photographs: Rob Bennett. Go Here For More.

Hello there. My name’s Patrick and I’m new here. The Brothers Omega have been retarded generous enough to offer me a position at their site, so here I am. I haven’t read a comic book in five years and don’t own a single video game system. Therefore, all I will be writing about is Nic Cage. Your prayers have been answered.

This is the premiere edition of CAGE MATCH – a weekly column where I fill you (yes, you) in on everything that happened in the past week in the world of Cage. So strap in, dorks. Time to read up on what really matters in life: CAGE!

Another Season of the Witch Trailer, Release Date Finally Announced

Over a year ago I was visiting my parents in New Jersey and we went to the movies. On the outside the theater was a HUGE banner for Season of the Witch. My face exploded. It was a 90 foot Nic Cage decked out in medieval gear and it said “coming soon.” Some preview screenings were held in December of 2009 but then the movie was dropped by its distributor and fell off the face of the planet. Now the bitch has been picked up by the folks at Rogue Pictures and will be released on January 7, 2011. Huzzah.

Cage stars as Behmen, a 14th century crusader who returns to his homeland to find everyone losing their shit over the Black Death. He’s assigned the mission of bringing a girl accused of causing the plague to a monastery where some monks will perform a ritual supposed to drive away the sickness. That probably means they’re going to rape her or something. Not on Cage’s watch, you old religious farts! This looks seriously awesome.

More Cage news after the jump.

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