DEFEAT. 028 – YOUR DAMN HANDS
[DEFEAT. is Rendar Frankenstein’s truest attempt at fiction. Presented in weekly episodes, the novella tells the tale of Daryl Millar – a hero who dies at the intersection of pop culture, science-fiction, war epic, and fantasy]
Daryl got out of the car before it had even stopped. His mother, affixed to the rearview mirror as she applied a third coat of rouge, didn’t notice. Even if she had, she wouldn’t have stopped him. Chalk it up to an understanding that no words could ever contest one of her son’s resolutions. Or, chalk it up to a desire to return home, pop a couple of Vicodin, hide in bed, and listen to Barbara Streisand’s The Broadway Album.
Either way — chalk it up.
Parted by the wind, a pile of leaves got out the seventeen year old champion’s path. Orange. Brown. Pregnant with anticipation. Mother Nature knew that on this morning, Daryl was unstoppable.
There was no need to stop at the locker before class. Daryl didn’t even bring his backpack. His mother might’ve noticed if she weren’t so damn busy putting on makeup to impress nobody. Daryl sans backpack — he knew he wouldn’t be spending much of Thursday at school.
Had Daryl been more patient in this current endeavor, more willing to go through the regular routine before getting down to business, his day would’ve gone much differently. At his locker waited Vanessa, holding baited breath and hoping to discuss the wonder that was the previous evening. Just like her suitor, Vanessa felt something washing over her during the post-coital bliss. Not just the physical pleasure of orgasm, but the sense that a tide was turning. Possibility was afoot, and Vanessa wanted to see if Daryl felt the same.
Had he been less dedicated to his friends, he may have actually gone to his first class — Modern American History. Once there, he would’ve noticed just the distraught Ms. Lang, practically on the verge of tears. A conversation would have begun, and the two would have started unraveling some of the many links that connected their lives
But alas, neither of these were destinations on Itinerary-Vengeance.
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Battlefield and CoD Ad Campaigns To Exceed $100 Million.
EA CEO John Riccitiello was delivering a speech at the Ad Age Conference, whatever the fuck that is, when he dropped some speculation regarding the advertising budget for the next Battlefield and Call of Duty games. Riccitiello predicted the next installments of his company’s Battlefield, as well as Activision’s Call of Duty could see their ad campaigns exceed $100 fucking million dollars.
That’s a lot of Junior Bacon Cheeseburgers.
Captain America & Bucky Drops This Summer, Chris Samnee Lives!
What’s going on with Bucky, eh? With Steve Rogers resuming the role of Captain America conveniently around the launch of the Cap movie, I’ve been wondering what the fuck they’ll do with James Buchanan. Marvel dropped yesterday at least one bone they’ll be throwing Rogers’ protege after he’s relieved of his position.
Co-writers Ed Brubaker and Marc Andreyko join Chris Samnee on the new title Captain America & Bucky. This news rocks if only because it’s a new Chris Samnee monthly after Thor: The Mighty Avenger was canned. Dude rocks.
Milky Way Forms Bridge Across Chilean Desert.
Anonymous Continues Raining Elbows On Sony And PSN. LEGION, Or Something.
Maybe I’m still a petulant teenager who likes seeing the Man getting a shitty dildo smeared across their face, but I fucking enjoy Anonymous. Since their declaration earlier this week, they’ve continued to pummel Sony’s Playstation Network with all sorts of magical Internet Steel Chairs and other awesome metaphorical ass-whuppery.
Netflix Lands Exclusive Deal To Stream ‘Mad Men.’
Mad Men. Oh Mad Men. I fucking love you. While your fifth season won’t start until 2012, I have now found out that I’ll be able to stream you from wherever I go now. On the toilet, on a bus, in my room. ‘Cause Netflix has struck a deal with Lionsgate for the exclusive rights to stream this television show.
Variant Covers: Nothing To Fear But Mega Events Themselves.
New releases! Trade paperbacks! Splash pages! These are a few of my favorite things. Man, what a clichéd way to start a column, no? Jesus Christ and then I followed it up with a rhetorical question. This is Variant Covers, the place where I puke up adolespeak about the comics I’m most excited about this week. Not a Be All List, I encourage you to let me know what you’re reading.
Fans Made ‘X-Men: First Class’ Posters Are Retro Swank.
The X:Men First Class posters released by Fox sucked. Fact, not opinion. Dope website that I sometimes snag from, Sucker Punch, issued a challenged to its readers. The decree read (I’m paraphrasing), “Talented motherfuckers, we can do better than this.”
And they did.
Check out some of the results.
Monday Morning Commute: Gods Save the King!
Baby, I don’t have time for foreplay tonight. So feel free to put down the bottle of champagne and NES controller. C’mon, hop right into the sack with me. It’s time to get frisky.
This here’s the Monday Morning Commute, the spot where I tell you what I’ll be doing this week. We’re all dealing with that pesky infirmity known as the work-world, and so a double-dose of entertainment is necessary. Administer as many times daily as possible. Let’s dance.
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Rockin’/Coloring Book EP – Glassjaw
I put off downloading Glassjaw’s latest effort for awhile, telling myself that they’d make it available for purchase. But they haven’t. In fact, the only way to snag a physical copy is to attend one of their shows, and unfortunately the Boston gig sold out before I got a ticket. So, promising myself that I’d give GJ money when they decide they want my money, I downloaded Coloring Book.
Some of the tunes have a real Latin vibe, with funky-ass claves and tamborines and shit. And then some of the songs absolutely crush. And, as though they knew exactly what I wanted, the band closes the album with Daytona White, a jazzier number complete with brushstrokin’ drums and Sunday-morning keyboards.
It’s fuggin’ sick.
Steve Rogers Will Become ‘Captain America’ Again In July. GO FIGURE.
Marvel has a Captain America movie coming out this summer. However, Steve Rogers the Captain America hasn’t been holding down the role in the Marvel funny book for the past couple of years. No sir. That honor would go to Rogers’ friend with whom he shares obvious latent homosexual love for, Bucky. However wouldn’t you know that come July, the storylines will see Steve Rogers once again becoming Captain America.
The ‘storylines.’
Not anything like ‘marketing synergy’ and ‘editorial mandates.’
