Wrath of the Titans: The Quest For More Money
I’m currently on the AMTRAK, en route to the Big Apple, and just overheard the following conversation:
Person 1: Wanna go to the movies later?
Person 2: What do you wanna see?
Person 1: Remember the movie about the Greek gods and stuff? The guy from Avatar is in it. The sequel just came out. I really want to see it — it looks so good.
Despite my skepticism of Person 1’s ability to someday produce intelligent, contributing offspring, his enthusiasm for the film in question (“Wrath of the Titans”) gave me pause. Because, honestly? I haven’t seen a single commercial for it. I had to go to IMDB to make sure it was, like, an actual thing, and then I was like, “Rosamund Pike, why are you in this movie? You are better than this.”
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Video: Every Bat-Climb Window Cameo From ‘BATMAN 66’ In One Place. Holy Climbing, Rat Guy.
Back in the day, Batman and Robin climbed the shit out of buildings. Just a nice piece of rope between their thighs, relying upon the closeness of one another to ensure they climbed successfully. The gentle touch of Batman upon the small of Robin’s back. Whispering: we can make it. Woah! What happened. Anyways. They loved the shit out of climbing, and here in one place is every cameo from their climbing.
THIS WEEK ON Justified: Measures
Shit is getting real. The pieces on the board are inching closer towards checkmate. Soon enough we’ll see who’s still standing … ok, to be fair we’ll see how Raylan and Boyd put everyone else down. So prop up your feet, sit back, and let’s have a look see at this past week’s Justified.
Newly Discovered EXOPLANETS Are 13 Billion Years-Old. Big Bang Levels Of Old.
A mere 375 light-years away lurks the star HIP 11952 and its two planets. These days exoplanets are a dime a goddamn dozen, but these two are a bit on the special tip. Using their brain-cannons to calculate and tabulate, people smarter than me have dated these two pigs at nearly the same age as the Big Bang.
Norwegian Diplomat Thinks LARPing Can Save The World. Gotta Start Somewhere?
You can tell Heikki Holmas isn’t an American politician in ways other than his name. The dude professes to having a bit of a life-boner when it comes to table top gaming. By the Gods! That’s the Satan’s tool. Holmas goes beyond that, making a pretty spectacular claim about the curative effects of LARPing.
BioWare Gives All 400 ‘MASS EFFECT 3’ Protest Cupcakes To Charity
Some master-baker motherfuckers who were cheesed about the ending to Mass Effect 3 decided to voice their displeasure in the form of cupcakes. They did indeed send them yummy-yums to BioWare, who did the solid and donated them to charity.
Video: “SOLAR TORNADO” Is 5 Times Larger Than Earth. Scope ++
This is fucking fantastic, right here. Here’s a little existential wonderment to set you up for your weekend. The Solar Dynamics Observatory has caught a solar tornado that is five times bigger than the Earth.
Kevin Smith Wants To Do ‘CLERKS 3’ As A Play? C’mon No Dude Please No.
Clerks 2 felt like a hot wet dump on my soul. Having grown up muttering the lines to the original to myself for hours, I don’t know what I expected. I wasn’t even opposed to it in theory. I should have been. It looks like I’ll be getting another drizzling of butt syrup, if Kevin Smith backs up this noise.
‘STEP UP REVOLUTION’ TRAILER: Miami Boner Jams Meet #Occupy
You’re unlikely to see a more amazing thing today. Behold the trailer for Step Up Revolution, something so chuck full of insanity that I wish I was there snorting the drugs and krumping to Pitbull while they wrote this script. It’s so, so, so goddamn horrible. I need it.
‘THE AVENGERS’ TV SPOTS: Dong Measuring Contest Between Loki and Stark
The Avengers got itself a couple of new TV spots. One in Brazilian, one in Dialect of the Empire flavor! Both of them have Tony Stark and Loki measuring each other’s proverbial hog, leading into the now famous “We have a Hulk” line.
