US Army Recruits “Animal Bots”. It’s like Beast Wars, only real.

Some laboratory in Boston (represent!) has been hard at work with some ridiculously cool new tech for the army, including a “sand flea” that can hop 9 meters to avoid things, and a goddamn “cheetah”  that reaches running speeds up to 30kph, the fastest robot speed ever recorded. I don’t know about you, but I need at least 10 of these. Each.


The  Army Rapid Equipping Force  plans to deliver four RHex robots for testing in Afghanistan once safety evaluations are completed stateside. These bots could be joined shortly by nine Boston Dynamics so-called Sand Flea reconnaissance robots, expected to undergo similar tests later this year. Sand Flea is a four-wheel, five-kilogram dynamo that drives like a remote-control car on flat surfaces but can jump as high as nine meters to overcome obstacles (see video). The robot, which can pop up about 25 times on a single charge, uses gyro stabilization to stay level while airborne both to provide clear recon from its onboard camera and to ensure a smooth landing. Earlier versions of Sand Flea were developed by  Sandia National Laboratories  with funding from the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency  (DARPA)  and the Army’s Joint Improvised Explosive Device Defeat Organization (JIEDDO).

Do you understand what this means? It means there’re going to be goddamn robot animals in battle alongside our troops. No, I have nothing witty  to say. I don’t need to say anything witty. THERE ARE GOING TO BE ROBOT ANIMALS ON THE FRONT LINES.