Quantum teleportation has been used to send 3D information for the first time! Do I know what the fuck this means? Nope! Am I torqued? Yup!
I got it out of the way in the headline, but I’ll reiterate. I don’t really know what the fuck this means, other than: it’s progress, and it’s got the words quantum and teleportation. Is that enough to excite me? You bet your glistening tits.
Here we be! Some “leaked” “maybe” pictures of Amazon’s upcoming 3D smartphone. I’m willing to stake my J-Law puppet collection on them being legit, though.
Wires are only good for tying up your loved ones, and slowly spanking them. In my future, there is no place for those easily-tangled bastards outside of eroticism. Apple feels me! Apple feels me! A new patent of theirs outlines the future we’ve been waiting for, a future replete with wireless charging.
New science-technology wizardy has revealed that we begin our slumberous swagger all up in our mother’s guts. For reasons they’re still trying to figure out, Scientist Wizards have observed a soon-baby yawning. Ain’t easy coming into existence. It’s exhausting.
I’m all for progress. Science. Medicine. Don’t get me wrong. I just don’t know how I feel about unleashing a robotic snake in my body, even if that swag is under the guise of eradicating tumors. Eh, who the hell am I kidding. I’d probably get off on it. I’m freaky like that. How you doing?
Isn’t much time until Caprica Six is launching nuclear strikes and boning wily, narcissistic scientists. Researchers have found a way to grow human flesh around all sorts of technology. We’re talking nanowires! Pow! We’re talking transistors! Pow! The future isn’t arriving, it is here. Eating out of your refrigerator and casting uncomfortable looks at your Mom’s legs.
Apple has snagged up a security firm who is fat-gutted on a glut of patents. I’m sure their evil maestros could barely contain their priapisms and sloppy loins when they finished this deal.
Researchers have drummed up this fantastic way to get around eye-scanning security systems. Let’s see if you can understand exactly how they do it, because it makes my skull all sorts of shades hurt.
One day some brilliant biophysicist was hanging out at the New England Aquarium when he thought something I would have never dreamed. Dude said to himself, “I can build a jellyfish”, whereas usually I’m like “man…the fish, they like, swim. Really well.”
Key phrase: “help prevent” HIV infection.