Comics We’re Buying This Week: Event Books Ass Eating Contest
With a headline like that, I better buckle up. It’s that time of the year where the Funny Book Factories begin churning out stunning efforts in mediocrity, otherwise known as Events. Yes sir. Yes ma’am. This week the all ninety-three Avengers teams are going to be throwing down with all fourteen X-Men squads and the price will be paid by readers looking for something not refried and snot-covered. (I thought this was called Civil War?)
Eh! There’s dope books a’dropping this week too. Let’s focus on that. This is Comics We’re Buying This Week. The simplistically titled column where us worshippers of the paneled page can gather around and share the funny book loot we’re snagging this week. Don’t know what’s coming out? Hit up ComicList.
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NEW ‘PROMETHEUS’ PICS: Futuristic Horror Boner
Here’s a whole slew of new Prometheus pictures. I have to say, the fucking space suits in this movie are putting my Mass Effect-tribbing, 2001-masturbating, Blade Runner-licking crotch into overdrive. NeedxInfinity.
Study: Kids Play Less Than 20% Of Their Media Time Playing Video Games. Pr0n Wins?
Momma always told me to get off the dang video game machine and go outside. Well I didn’t. My senior year of high school consisted of not losing my virginity, eating Wendy’s every day, playing video games, and gaining fifty pounds. Thankfully according to studies, future kids are decidedly unlike me.
TROLLING Could Land You 25 Years Of Prison Time In ARIZONA. Woah.
One of the Internet’s favorite activities is the blowing of textual fecal matter over people’s joy. It’s quite essential to many people. Now those in Arizona want to take away one of the few joys left to assholes so empty that they have to ruin others’ fun.
The trailer for “Ted” dropped today. This is a movie that actually exists.
Mahky-mahk, Russian Babe McGee, and Peter Griffin team up for a movie about a living teddy bear. Yeah, I’ll give you a minute to re-read that. The thing is, Seth MacFarlane is a pretty clever bastard when he wants to be. Remember when Family Guy was good? You know, before he relinquished creative control and then it devolved into Misogyny Weekly? So I actually have semi-high hopes for this. I mean, if anything, it’ll be a raunchy comedy for me to enjoy; I probably laughed way harder than I was supposed to while watching this.
Hit the jump to watch the VERY MUCH NSFW trailer.
On Venus Our Voices Would Sound Like “BASS SMURFS”, Awesome.
Here’s a tidbit upside your head. Professor Tim Leighton and a crack squad at the University of Southampton have calculated what we would sound like on different planets. Provided, you know, we could speak on them. What they’ve found is that humans’ voices would be so alien to us that we’d look physically different.
Video: Arthur C. Clarke Predicts The Internet And Personal Computers. In 1974. I Hate Myself.
Arthur C. Clarke knows how to humble a man. Like many of my heroes, the dude dabbles in a bit of the futurism. Check out this video from 1974 where the good sir predicts the internet and computers. So goddamn awesome.
‘AVENGERS’ Poster: NICK FURY And AGENT COULSON. Or, Who F**king Cares?
Here’s a poster for the Avengers with Nick Fury and Agent Coulson. Legit question: does anyone actually give a fuck about Agent Coulson? I’m genuinely interested.
EXERCISE and CAFFEINE Is (Skin) Cancer-Fighting Combo. I AM IMMORTAL.
Oh god damn! It appears that I have already mastered the one-two punch that’ll crack the ribs of mortality and grant me eternal rockitude. Or at least prevent skin cancer. I can settle for that.
Two New ‘AMAZING SPIDER-MAN’ Promo Clips: Parker Is Kind Of A Dick
Two new promo clips for Amazing Spider-Man have leaked courtesy of cell phone devices. They’re low-quality as shit, but what really strikes me is how much they’re playing up the Parker as humorously dickish. Too much? Dig it? Let me know after you check them out.
