TROLLING Could Land You 25 Years Of Prison Time In ARIZONA. Woah.

One of the Internet’s favorite activities is the blowing of textual fecal matter over people’s joy. It’s quite essential to many people. Now those in Arizona want to take away one of the few joys left to assholes so empty that they have to ruin others’ fun.


One of the Internet’s basic tenets–the right to be as much of a myopic, infantile asshat as humanly possible–is currently under attack in Arizona. A sweeping update to the state’s telecommunications harrasment bill could make naughty, angry words a Class 1 misdemeanor. Or worse.

It’s a dangerous precedent, yet another bill written and supported  by legislators who fundamentally don’t understand  the nature of the internet. And I’m not just being a, well, you know.

Arizona House Bill 2549 passed both legislative houses last Thursday and is now awaiting approval from Arizona’s governor Brewer. The statute states that:

“It is unlawful for any person, with intent to terrify, intimidate, threaten, harass, annoy or offend, to use a ANY ELECTRONIC OR DIGITAL DEVICE and use any obscene, lewd or profane language or suggest any lewd or lascivious act, or threaten to inflict physical harm to the person or property of any person.”

Emphasis added. If the electronic devices and means are employed to stalk a victim, the penalty bumps up to a Class 3 felony.

For those not intimately familiar with Arizona penal law, a  Class 1 misdemeanor  is punishable by a $2,500 fine and up to six months in jail (it’s the most aggressive misdemeanor charge the state can bring). A Class 3 felony, meanwhile, carries a minimum sentence of 2.5 years for non-dangerous offenders with no prior record. And a max of 25 years in jail.

Opponents of the bill argue that the wording is overly broad and could easily be interpreted to include not just one-on-one communications but public forums like 4Chan, Reddit, and anywhere else that allows commenting. You thought the banhammer was bad? Try handcuffs.

Our basic freedoms, man. Evaporating underneath the caustic Arizona legislative Sun.