#Video Games
Dude Tries To Sell His Halo Armor On Pawn Stars. Sorta Fails.
Some dude (fittingly) named Ian went onto Pawn Stars trying to hock his Halo replica outfit. It doesn’t go particularly well. He runs around in the suit, showing how amazing it is before asking for $2,000. Much derision and uncomfortable sadness in the eyes of a fellow geek erupts, which we all benefit from.
Hit the jump for the video.
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BioWare Hopes Old Republic Lasts Decades. Good Luck With That.
I’m going to let you in on a secret. Something inside of me tells me that SWTOR isn’t going to be good. I don’t know why, I just have the suspicion. The emphasis on voice acting and storylines? Give me grind quests and fucking dungeons! No, I have no idea. BioWare doesn’t share my skepticism. Maybe cause they made it or something. They think it’s going to last for decades. Decades.
BioWare Wants You To Vote For The Default FemShep, Here Are The Choices.
After a (rightful) outcry by female gamers and fans of gamin’ equality about the lack of a FemShep in any promotional materials for any of the Mass Effect games, BioWare announced they’d be giving a default FemShep some love on the collector’s edition for the third game. They’re also giving the community the chance to vote on which one will be the default FemSheppy.
Hit the jump for the choices.
Review – Bastion (XBLA)
Stories are wonderful, aren’t they? Especially when the storytellers get it right: weaving tales of intrigue, fantasy and human nature. If it weren’t for our ability to tell stories, then we would know hardly anything about ourselves. Bastion is a game that knows this all too well: building on narrative foundations rather than mechanical ones. This isn’t a story within a game, so much as it is a game within a story.
BioWare Reveals New ‘Mass Effect 3’ Character, James Vega. Super BroDude Woah.
Mass James Vega, a new character to the Mass Effect franchise. Vega is known around the galactic community for excessive amounts of hair product, the smell of whiskey and pussy on his breath, and his overall asstastic character design. BioWare should have just named him “Gears of War Guy” or my preferred name “Super BroDude”.
Hit the jump for the entire image.
Face of a Franchise: Izzza Mario!
[face of a franchise presents two individuals that’ve fulfilled the same role. your task — choose the better of the two and defend your choice in the rancor pit that is the comments section]
One of the most celebrated rites of passage in the Nerd Realm is engaging in the Greatest Hero debate. Would Luke Skywalker’s Jedi powers confound John McClane, or would he manage to best Tattooine’s favorite farmboy even after getting an arm chopped off? How fast can Neo read universal code if Professor X is mind-molesting him? Can Wolverine’s healing factor work quickly enough to thwart off the three-count after Hogan delivers the atomic leg drop?
Fun questions to ask, no doubt. But only in a purely academic sense. Because, if you really think about it, everyone knows who our generation’s greatest hero is.
Super Mario.
I can’t even begin to think of a hero that’s done more than Mario. Every few years he hunts down a dinosaur, beats the shit out of him, and then brings his girlfriend home to bang her out. Oh, and by the way, she’s a princess – so you know she’s packing a high-quality rump-roast. When he’s not out hunting prehistoric menaces, Mario finds enjoyment in high-octane deathraces. He gets his broke-ass brother jobs. Oh, and the muthafuggah’s got a PhD.
With such crazy credentials, it stands to reason that it takes a real boss to portray Mario. Luckily for us, we’ve been graced with performances by two absolute masters. The only problem lies in determining who did the better job.
‘Link To The Past’ Is Way Better With A Portal Gun. Way Better.
Link to the Past. A safe go-to game when you feel like drunkenly debating what the best game of all time is with your friends. Dorkly has taken the classic game and imagined what it would be like with a fucking Portal gun. Answer: outstanding.
Hit the jump for the video.
Sony’s Tim Schaaff Thought The PSN Hack Was A “Great Experience”. Oh Bro.
The PSN hack was a kidney punch combo’d into a nuts stomp, and gave Sony something of a drooping around the world. We all stared. Some aghast. Some amused. Some both. It had to totally suck for everyone involved over at Sony, right? Naw, bro! Sony’s network entertainment president Tim Schaaff was having the time of his life.
AJ Hateley Makes Book Covers Out of Classic Video Games. Lit/Gamer Swoon!
AJ Hateley has taken on the impressive project of turning classic video games into book covers. They’re not your run of the mill covers, rather they reflect the sort of old, worn books that makes a literature nerd like me weep. They’re absolutely gorgeous. Double-daps to including Camus on the Katamari cover. Fantastic!
Hit the jump to check them out.
Deadspin Editor Takes LSD and Tries To Recreate On Xbox The No-Hitter Dock Ellis Threw On LSD.
Dock Ellis threw a no-hitter for the Pittsburgh Pirates on June 12, 1970. He later admitted that he had done so while on acid. Deadspin editor A.J. Daulerio tried to recreate the heroic and hallucinatory feat. Dropping some acid, he fired up the Xbox and gave it the old psychadelic trry.
Hit the jump to watch a video of his valiant efforts.
