#Video Games
‘WATCH DOGS’ Trailer: Hacking The Planet Like A 1337 Dude
New Watch Dogs trailer! has arrived, highlighting the various ways you’ll totally fucking hack the planet.
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GAME BOY has turned 25 f**king years old. I am decrepit.
YEAH OKAY SO OFFICIALLY IT WAS YESTERDAY when Game Boy turned 25 years-old. But we’re going to talk about it today. ‘Cause this is my virtual house. And on top of not wearing shoes, making it okay to pee in the sink, and insisting the running water is replaced with Diet Dew, a main rule of mine is we talk about shit when I want to. (Or I get around to it.) But yeah seriously fuck Game Boy has turned old as shit, marking me as older than shit.
‘DRAGON AGE 3: INQUISITION’ Trailer. And launch date!
Dragon Age 3 now has a gameplay trailer. And a release date. Both of these excite me. Do they excite you?
PlayStation 4 got a TWO-MILLI CONSOLE LEAD on the XB1.
I’m digging this console war. PS4 versus XB1 versus my wallet versus Godzilla versus Jizz-Covered Parking Lot Wanderers. It’s the greatest battle of the generation. And so while PS4 is outselling XB1 at the moment, both are selling pretty fucking well.
‘CHILD OF LIGHT’ Gameplay Trailer: Too Gorgeous To Exist
Good god, Child of Light is too beautiful to exist! And to think it’s dropping in a mere nineteen days! Fuck me sideways until I scream your Uncle’s name. I almost regret watching this trailer, ’cause goddamn has it raised my expectations. Stoked the flaming fire. *Insert additional crappy metaphor* *Banal ending sentence*
Double Fine’s ‘HACK N’ SLASH’ Trailer: Link Goes Zero Cool?
This next game from Double Fine has snuck the fuck up on me. Like, in the sense that I had never heard of it until today. But it looks…gnarly enough? Something like Legend of Zelda meets Hackers? I’m game! I just don’t know…What I’m game for.
XBOX Head Guy: XBOX has “resource and ambition” to CHANGE THE WORLD. lol
C’mon Phil Spencer. I recognize that all of you Bloat-Brained Head Honcho Ding Dongs are prone to hyperbole. I get that. But how about you unfuck the gaming community’s perception of the XB1 before you blather your super-hype, nonsense-crap.
‘TRANSISTOR’ from ‘BASTION’ dev drops NEXT MONTH
Oh baby. I’ve been sweating Transistor since it was revealed last year. So tasty. So pretty. (Tasty?) And a good goddamn, I had no fucking clue it was dropping so soon. But it is, but it is. The son of a bitch shall be arriving on the PS4 next month.
‘HOTLINE MIAMI 2: WRONG NUMBER’ Trailer: Neo-Noir Bloodfest Redux
My soul is ready to once again swim in the murky, murderous seas of Hotline Miami blood. Is yours? Does it need a little push towards nihilistic pixelation devastation?
Microsoft considering “OFFICIAL 360 EMULATION’ for XB1.
C’mon, Microsoft. Get this fucking done and I’ll love you. I’m tired of juggling all my fucking consoles, AV ports, and jackin’-off socks. Make my life easier. Let me play my 360 games on my XB1. Please? Truthfully — I’d dig this way more than PlayStation Now! or whatever. I don’t want to have to pay to play fucking games I already own on my PS3. (Assuming this official emulation is free, granted, whatever, get off my cock.)
