#Video Games
‘Borderlands Remastered’ revealed by Australian ratings website
WELL FUCK. If I can’t have a goddamn Borderlands 3, I’ll certainly take a remastered jaunt through Pandora. I tried out that Pre-Pre-Se-Prequel, and while it wasn’t horrible. It just, you know, wasn’t the same. So I’ll bide my time waiting for the masters to return by convincing friends to play through this shit with me. One more time. In 1080p or whatever.
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Microsoft now accepting Bitcoin for games, music, more. Cryptolicious.
What the fuck is Cryptolicious? A man’s fried brain desperately trying to come up with a title. That same man’s brain failing. But efforting anyways, promising itself it’ll at least keep functioning until the large chicken parmesan calzone arrives. Soon: food. But now: cryptocurrency news.
‘Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain’ Multiplayer Trailer: Selfies With Friends
Frankly, I don’t know what the fuck to think of Metal Gear Solid 5. So I certainly don’t know what to think about Metal Gear Solid Online. But I’m fucking intrigued by both. The former more than the latter.
New ‘God of War’ officially announced. Cause like, why not.
Totally didn’t see a new God of War coming down the pipeline. I’m always taken when Corporate Overlords announce new installments of Unfathomable Cash Cows. In any medium.
‘Final Fantasy VII’ coming to PS4! But! It ain’t a f**king remake
Squaresoft-Enix-Eidos-Whateverthefuck straight trollin’ us now. The Company That Doesn’t Matter Anymore announced today that they’re bringing Final Fantasy VII to PS4. But it ain’t the remake we’ve been clamoring for over the past fifteen years. Just an upscale whateverashit port. Same one that has already dropped on Steam.
‘Uncharted 4’ Gameplay Video: 2015 Is Far Away
I fucking miss you, Nathan Drake. And when I see you in next-gen glory, your absence in my life is felt as a physical hunger. I need you. Your half-tuck. Your unkempt neck hair. Your gunplay.
‘No Man’s Sky’ Portal Gameplay Trailer: Space Is The Place
I’m not exaggerating when I say my caffeine-addled, medicated brain can barely contain its excitement when watching the trailers for No Man’s Sky. The game is giving me, like, everything I’ve ever wanted in space exploration. FUCK. YES. GIMME. SHITFUCKYES. Penis-titties?
‘Street Fighter V’ announced! PS4 and PC exclusive~ (Yeah, okay.)
Street Fighter V has been announced! Which is sort of not surprising. What is (sort of) surprising is that it’s a PS4 and PC exclusive. Which is totally got to be a timed exclusive.
‘Resident Evil’ HD remake dropping January 20 on PS4, XB1, and more
The Resident Evil HD Re-Re-Remake has been dated for release. The contagion shall be vomiting down your info-pipes and into your video machine-machinations next January, 20.
Next year’s ‘Assassin’s Creed’ leaked. Set in Victorian London.
Man, UbiSoft. Can you catch a fucking break? First you ship AC: Unity which is apparently BROKEZ AS FUKK. Then the whole debacle with The Crew. And now your AssCreed of 2015 gets leaked? Woof. That said? It looks pretty fucking froggy fresh.
