#Television
‘AGENTS OF SHIELD’ debuts to GODDAMN ENORMOUS RATINGS
Well done, folks. Apparently everyone’s pants tighten just as much as mine when it comes to the Marvel cinematic-uh-television universe. Agents of SHIELD debuted last night to crazy fucking ratings.
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COMMISSIONER GORDON getting his own TV SHOW. Intriguing.
Didn’t see this one coming! On the evening that Marvel has rolled out Agents of Shield: Coulson Lives on ABC, news has broke that Gotham’s police commissioner shall be snagging his own television show.
SAUL GOODMAN SHOW OFFICIALlY GREENLIT. Will be ‘BREAKING BAD’ PREQUEL.
Saul Goodman’s presence on television will live on after Breaking Bad, even if his character may not. A spin-off show starring our favorite secretly brilliant, not so secret scumbag has been given the official go-ahead.
‘AMERICAN PSYCHO’ TV SEQUEL SERIES developing at FX. OKEE?
I just sort of feel like we’ve already done the whole Patrick Bateman thing on television through the lens of Dexter Morgan. I know that the metaphors aren’t the same (completely, or whatever), but I don’t really need to watch another soulless dude contemplate their own lack of humanity. Nihilism is exhausting and exhausted.
‘BREAKING BAD: THE COMPLETE SERIES’ coming in A BARREL.
This is neat. The complete collection of Breaking Bad is going to arrive in the form of a barrel. You know, one of those barrels that are full of chemical-something-something that White et al. use to cook their drugs. However! I suggest you use it as a vomit bag. Jesus Christ does that show make me nauseous.
KEVIN SPACEY and ROBIN WRIGHT directing ‘HOUSE OF CARDS’ episodes. None from THE FINCHER.
After House of Cards was renewed for a second season, the next big question became whether or not David Fincher would direct any episodes. Homeboy directed the pilot, et cetera. We now know the answer: negative. Bummer. Fincher’s aesthetic was a huge sexy portion of the episodes he directed, and immediately disappeared when he was no longer behind the camera. The show’s quality didn’t suffer, but I’m a whore for slick overlays and visual hooks. Alas. So no Fincher.
But! We’ve found ourselves a Spacey and a Wright.
NETFLIX GET: Aziz Ansari premiering next stand-up special on the service.
Netflix has landed a big, beefy comedic debut from a small, wiry beloved little man. Aziz Ansari is dropping his next stand-up special on the service first, in a snag for the streaming original content Leviathan. I don’t particularly give a shit about Ansari, but the kids are absolutely mad for the guy. Maybe the adults too.
’12 MONKEYS’ TV PILOT could begin filming THIS NOVEMBER.
12 Monkeys was one of those movies that just straight-up fucking terrified me when I saw it for the first time. I was young, it was dark as shit, nothing ended happily. The uncomfortable feeling I had after finishing that first viewing sticks with me to this day. So maybe that’s why I’m both excited and apprehensive about a potential TV series.
‘HOMELAND’ SEASON 3 TRAILER: SAUL WILL HAUNT BRODY’S ASS
Read that headline as homoerotically as you wish. I know I will be. Here is another trailer for the third season of Homeland. Taking itself way too seriously. Just a bunch of sad people looking sad. No matter. It features The Beard preparing its search for that ginger-headed terrorist fuck.
MIKE from ‘BREAKING BAD’ has joined ‘COMMUNITY’ for its fifth season. F**K YEAH.
Oh shit! Community isn’t just returning for a fifth season to fuck my gullet-pipes with awesome. It’s bringing back Dan Harmon. But ya’ll already knew that. However, did you know that Mike (Jonathan Banks) from Breaking Bad is going to have the most in-depth guest starring role in the show’s history? Eh? Eh!
