There’s a  potpourri  of Marvel movie news today, jettisoning out of various gulches and gorges and uh, maybe gulches don’t jettison anything. But still.

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Thank the Maker – April’s almost over! Here in New England, winters are absolutely brutal and I’m pretty sure that this last one has been the bleakest of my life. As such, April seemed like it’d be a great reprieve but it’s proven to be a fickle bitch – cold and rainy with just enough sunshine to keep the razor from my wrist. But once May hits the winter coats are traded for hooded sweatshirts and smiles are abound.

It’s true – scientists say so.

To get us through this final week of National Sexual Assault Awareness Month, let’s hop into the Monday Morning Commute – the shining piercing on the tip of the dong that is the workweek. I’m going to run you through the highlights of the upcoming seven days, and then you can do the same. It’s internet-buddy show-and-tell at its best. Or worst. You decide.

Let’s do this.

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Marvel has released a fucking plethora of new movie screens from the upcoming ‘Thor.’ It’s a sexy collection of bearded gods, sizzling goddesses, and some neat behind the scenes stuff. A fucking shit ton, man! Hit the jump, check out the pictures, and uh, stuff.

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The Green Lantern hype train is beginning to kick into overdrive. A new extended TV spot that premiered during American Idol and 30 Rock on Thursday evening had itself some new footage.

Hit the jump to check it out.

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Marvel’s dropped a new X-Men: First Class international trailer on our comic asses. On top of some new footage, it offers a look at the special effects of the movie. If you’re familiar with the flick, you know they’re fucking cutting and shooting and ripping up the special effects as we speak, trying to churn this pig out in time. Hopefully the mayhem and the energy needed to get this out will translate onto the big screen.

Hit the jump for a look at the trailer.

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Super, the latest from Slither director James Gunn, takes the superhero movie and splits its forehead open with a wrench. I went in expecting graphic violence and overall campiness, but Gunn takes you to the edge, lets you dangle, then shoves you off while he laughs and downs a Red Bull. He’s not trying to cater to his audience, or any audience for that matter. Several times throughout he lulls you into a great rhythm of “okay, this is what the movie is going to be like,” then he throws some dynamite in the works and sidles off.

Rainn Wilson plays Frank, a dumpy short-order cook who is somehow married to the gorgeous Sarah (Liv Tyler). He holds on to the two perfect moments in his life dearly: his wedding and when he helped a cop catch a purse snatcher. Unlike that dweeb from Kick Ass, it’s actually easy to believe that Frank is a real loser who thinks becoming a superhero is perfectly rational. He’s given this heroic impulse after Sarah leaves him for drug/strip club proprietor Kevin Bacon. And after the hand of God literally touches him. Seriously, that scene is incredible.

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My excitement for the Green Lantern went up a good deal after witnessing the footage from Wondercon. I ain’t dumb enough to deny that it may be simply the product of a well-cut trailer, corralling the dopest contents of the movie into four minutes.

But let me be excited!

Today, two character posters for the movie were released on the movie’s Facebook page.

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In Hong Kong, things make sense. Whereas here in the United States we lavished sales upon sales on Avatar, Hong Kong saw a 3D porno beating James Cameron and his blue sons a bitches. Hell yeah, Hong Kong!

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Ah, the soon to be officially ciché Marvel movies post-credits scene. Yep. Just stick Samuel Jackson in some shitty forty-second scene in with something leading up to the Avengers flick. They’ve been doing it for three years, there isn’t any reason to stop now. Apparently, purportedly, the post-credits scene in Thor tips off the villain for The Avengers.

Hit the jump for spoilers, ya fucks!

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I have a good amount of anxiety regarding the superhero flick during and after the 2012 release schedule. In my fair estimation, we’re going to be fucking fatigued with the whole enterprise. More so than we are now. However, Marvel doesn’t share my concern. Marvel Studios president Kevin Fergie recently spoke about the sequels to their unreleased Cap and Thor movies, and more.

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