#Movies
New ‘STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS’ image identifies Benedict Cumberbatch as “John Harrison.” Yeah, okay.
A Khan by any other name, right? I’m willing to bet at this point that regardless of what is name is in the movie, Benedict Cumberbatch is going to play some sort of Khan analogue in the next Star Trek movie. So yeah, go ahead PR department. Call him “John Harrison”, you’re not fooling me.
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‘FANTASTIC FOUR’ REBOOT dropping Spring of 2015. That year is choking.
Well tits. I thought that this year was a busy year for superhero movies, and I suppose it was. However, it ain’t going to have anything in comparison to 2015. A year already choking on superhero films is having another one added to the calendar. That’s right! Fantastic Four, come on down. Join the deluge of tights-and-lasers flicks that will be competing against one another in the third year since the Mayan apocalypse.
NICOLAS WINDING REFN directing Denzel Washington in ‘THE EQUALIZER’, Rendar pees.
OH GOD. How much stoic, brooding masculinity can you fit into one film? Winding Refn and Washington are going to try and find out. I hear the movie is just Denzel staring quietly into a mirror for two hours, fire in his eyes. Eventually the mirror begins to vibrate, then literally weep. It shatters. The movie ends.
JAPANESE ‘IRON MAN 3’ TRAILER: Stark goes domestic!
Iron Man 3 continues on with the “oh, okay!” introduction of the Stark and Peppers relationship that was featured in Avengers. If you’re wondering just what the sweet tits such a domestic affair may look like, this Japanese trailer for Iron Guy The Third may be educational.
Kevin Smith’s final movie will be ‘CLERKS 3.’ Oh God.
Now that George Lucas has abdicated the Star Wars throne, I suppose some hero from my childhood had to pick up his ritual of shitting directly into the heart valves of my adolescent soul. Fuck. Clerks is one of my favorite movies of all time, Clerks 2 is a sore on my testicles that keeps oozing, and a final flick (while I will see it because I’m a sucker) makes me barf little balls of agony into my tits hair.
New ‘MAN OF STEEL’ promo pic has Superman feeling (deep) blue.
Shazam! Whoops. Wrong character. I’m not certain what Superman yells. “Oh, I’m lonely!”, perhaps? Whatever the case. Here is a new promo picture from Man of Steel, giving us mouth breathers a better look at Supes’ outfit. Methinks some people are going to hyperventilate over the changes in the aesthetic. Calm down, folks. Calm down.
PRESIDENT PALMER joins ‘SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR’, replacing Michael Clarke Duncan.
President Palmer up in this fucking house! Good dude is replacing Michael Clarke Duncan in Sin City: Things are Mysterious In Black and White. Glad to see someone is employing the dude outside of car insurance commercials and such.
Quentin Tarantino talking about his ’30s gangster flick again. Do it!
One of the lovely things about Tarantino around the release of one of his movies is that the auteur begins to spit about upcoming works. The Melty Faced One is now once again talking about his desire to make a 1930s gangster flick.
Joss Whedon has submitted his ‘AVENGERS 2’ outline. Oh to read that!
I imagine myself. As I use the powers of imagination, I picture a sweat-slicked chest, heaving in. Heaving out. I have stolen the top secret Avengers 2 outline from Whedon’s bed side after he and I had a tickle fight. I won, but he wasn’t resentful. After passing into a calm repose, Joss rolls over. I spy it on his bed stand. It can’t be! Can it? I grab it. It is. Or so I imagine.
‘STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS’ REGULAR & JAPANESE TRAILERS: They will make your Benedict…oh whatever.
Real talk: I am posting this before rushing quickly to work, so I haven’t seen these trailers. Uh, enjoy the two of them. Leave your comments. I hope to see them later in the day.
