Hulloh there, folks!

How was your Christmas? How is your Chanukah? Pumped for Kwanzaa? Find someone to smooch on New Year’s Eve? No matter how you get down, chances’re that you’re in midst of celebration. And hell, what’s not to celebrate? We just passed the winter solstice, which means that the days of darkness are going to be coming to an end. While winter is sure to bludgeon us with icy blows, we can rest assured knowing that more and more sunlight will be headed our way.

Unless, of course, you’re a dweller of of the Southern Hemisphere — if that’s the case, you’re still rocking barbeques at the beach. But then again, you’re probably getting into fistfights with joeys and hunting down the dingos that stole your babies. Damn Aussies.

Kiwis are good folk, though.

Anyways, welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the nerd-friendly show-and-tell jump-off! I’m going to sift through the entertainment debris that’ll be occupying my time in the following week, giving you the highlights along the way. After you check out `em out, it’s your duty to hit up the comments section and share your own recreational wreckage.

OL-5, standing by!

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Here it is folks – the final push towards Christmas! In less than a week’s time, the Magic Bearded Arbiter will sneak into our homes and either reward us with gifts or punish us with lumps of fossil fuel. Hopefully the Bearded Arbiter wasn’t looking when you cheated on your taxes, ran a red light, or didn’t tip the waitress because she didn’t preemptively refill your coffee.

But chances’re are that your ass is busted. There’s no hiding from Santa. He sees you when you’re sleeping.

So on that note, welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the spot where we meet up to discuss the various bits of entertainment we’ll be relying on to get us through the hellish gauntlet that is the workweek. However, most of us are probably going to be giving half-assed performances at our jobs this week, more interested in cakes and candies and parties than punching in from 9-5. With that being said, last-minute shopping and party-planning carry their own unique brands of stress, and we’ll still need something to get us through.

C’mon, fly down the chimney and I’ll show you what’ll be occupying my mind this week!

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After I punch out on December 23^rd, I’m going to have the luxury of not returning to work for ten days. By my calculations, that’s nearly a week and a half. Do you know many comics will be read, movies watched, beers imbibed, and high-fives delivered in that time? Certainly enough to keep my face smile-plastered and spirit sky-bound.

Needless to say, I’m champing at the bit.

But alas, I must first survive a treacherous two-week stint of work. Additionally, these workweeks happen to fall on the end of the month, which is always the most hectic time around the `ole office. Tack on the various projects I’ve undertaken, and I’m bound to be one busy little prole-monkey rummaging about the engine room of Spaceship Earth’s compartment of Consumer-Cultures.

Fortunately, the Omnidimensional Creator has been kind enough to allow me to guide you through the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! Join me as I display the various bits of art and mind-rot I’ll be using to prevent a total mental meltdown. After you feast your eyes on what I’ll be entertaining myself with, hit up the comments section and share your ideas of a fun time.

Okay, hide the women and children — it’s time to summon the Entertainment Daemons!

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I’m tired and cranky and hungry. The pile of work on my desk is increasing at an exponential rate. My gums are bleeding. How’s my breathing? Belabored. All I want to do is lay down for the night and wake up tomorrow. Know what I can’t do until I finish about seven different projects? Lay down for the night and wake up tomorrow.

Goddamn do I hate Mondays.

But I’d be a liar to imply that I don’t have a soft spot for the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, OL‘s weekly show-and-tell feature. Here’s how it works: I’m going to give you a guided tour of my demented mind, steering you away from the Freudian nightmares and towards the entertainment wet-dreams. After scoping out the monsters lurking in my brain-bone, it’s your duty to hit up the comments section and show off the wares you’ll be using to survive the workweek.

C’mon, you think we’re afraid of the 9-5? You think we can’t survive the daily grind? Bring it on! FLAME ON!

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Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, OL’s celebration of escaping workweek ennui with comics and movies and video juegos and other such godsends. As can be inferred from the name, this feature is posted on the first day of the week. Usually. Sometimes, when work is too overwhelming and the pile on my desk is more difficult to navigate, the MMC drops on Tuesday.

And then there’s weeks like this one.

I could blather on and on about my work woes, computer problems, and persistent bone-pains, but I think I’d rather show off some of the bits of entertainment that’re going to keep me from washing my wrists with a razor. Life’s great, so let’s deliver stress a fun-time uppercut to the ballbag!

Let’s go!

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All hands on deck! We’re approaching terminal velocity on Spaceship Omega, hurtling towards the end of the workweek at breakneck speed! Ah hell, we should’ve recalibrated the autopilot! The social contract allows for an early reprieve from indentured servitude this week, and now we’re rocketing ahead at a rate that’s virtually guaranteeing a crash landing.

Brace yourself! We’re going to smash right into Planet Thanksgiving, and our survival is dependent on the ability to craft entertainment-cushions.

Luckily, this here’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! In this Monday feature, I show off the various bits of enjoyment I’ll be using to try to make life awesome. Then, your job is to hit up the comments and share your wares.

It’s internet show and tell. And we love it.

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Take a breath. You’re safe. I promise.

I know that you were probably scared out of your wits today. It’s okay. I was too. Hell, who wouldn’t be terrified at the prospect of having to spend every single Monday from now until retirement/death/tiger-mutilation lamentin’ existence. Oh, you didn’t think that I heard you? I did. In a way, actually found your exasperated sighs lyrical.

“Motherfucking rat race life! How’m I supposed to keep doin’ this without going postal? Arggh!”

Take another breath. I’ve got the solution. You’ve come to the right place.

This here’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, OL’s workweek refugee camp. What we do is showcase the various bits of entertainment and pop-culture detritus that we’ll snack on throughout the week, consuming just enough Nerd Calories to get us to the weekend. I’ll go first, then you’ll hit up the comments section and show off your recipe for ennui-repellent.

Who wants to dance?

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Ahoy! How goes it, bros and babes of the OL Nation? It’s been awhile since I’ve danced aboard this burning ship of nerd-revelry, as I’ve needed some time off to lick the wounds inflicted during my stint as the OCTOBERFEAST emcee. But alas, I’ve returned to the command center, eager to help Caffeine Powered steer this conflagration-barge right into the hearts of the willing.

Whether its pounding in your chest or blackened by loss or fluttering amorously, we want you to open your hearts to the Omega Level. So come on, don’t just stand there! Hop aboard! ALL HANDS ON DECK!

This here’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE, the weekly salvation-via-distraction show and tell feature. The fact of the matter is that the workweek sucks – we kill ourselves at jobs that date rape our spirits and then can’t even be bothered to   drive `em home in the morning.

How uncouth.

To thwart forty-hours’ worth of ruin, we’ll take turns showcasing the bits of entertainment we use to ensure our souls’ chastity. I’ll go first, then ya’ll can hit up the comments sections and follow suit.

All together now.

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Samhain is upon us! Let’s scream paeans at the top of our lungs and imbibe pumpkin-elixirs and hand out candy to the ghoulish younglings terrorizing our suburban sanctuaries! This is the day we reserve to celebrate autumnal bliss!

Unfortunately, Halloween falls on a Monday this year. Which is lame. But as always, we can ward off the malignant spirits of the workweek by paying tribute to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE – this is the weekly post where I show you what I’ll be doing to entertain myself so as to survive five days of job-related drudgery. After you check out the treats in my pillowcase, hit up the comments section and share your own!

Let’s get to two-steppin’!

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Monday evening in the Northeast section of the American Empire proper. Cold winds, comfortable clothes. Shut windows and caffeine in the veins. I’m relaxing. I’m also Caffeine Powered, my (literal) brother Rendar Frankenstein tagging me in for this iteration. I’m swinging over the top fucking rope, ready to drop sweet chin music upon all your unsuspecting asses. Gape for me baby, and allow my Love Heel to caress your Soul-Clit.

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