For all my confusion regarding and annoyance with the DC Reboot-refry-rehash-resomething, it’s shuffling of creators has paid off. DC has announced the creative teams for the Super Titles, and Grant Morrison is writing Action Comics.

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Oh I’m getting snarky now! Mark Millar was a favorite writer of mine for a long, long time. His work on The Ultimate, and Old Man Logan will forever go down as cherished stories of mine. Recently though, he’e been focusing on creator-owned titles, and frankly I find them all to be crappy schlock. With all this emphasis has come a weakening of his Marvel swag, and my love for his present material has decayed.

He’s leaving for only creator-owned work. This could cut two different ways.

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This is seven shades of bullshit smashed into a can of failure Motherfucking ‘Northlanders’ by Brian Wood and a litany of extremely talented artists such as Becky Cloonan has been nixed by Vertigo due to poor sales of the trades. I am awash in a raft of sadness, floating across a sea of hate. We’ve all failed guys. Failed.

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I’m not particularly glad to see that Marvel is joining in on the bullshit DC reboot-rehash-refried-look at me train with Uncanny X-Men. They’re “ending” Uncanny X-Men at issue #544, because of totally immense consequences and shit. Please.

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I’m having an impossible time trying to figure out what’s going on with the DCU. I know that Flashpoint is changing everything but like how? I suppose that’s half the intrigue of the entire enterprise, but it’s leaving me quite flummoxed. It’s a reboot, relaunch, reprise, rehash, refry, re-something. I just don’t know what. I’d really like to. After lamenting that Dick Grayson is going back to Nightwing, and all of Batman Inc. is getting peeled away, apparently it isn’t?

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There’s something to be said for interesting storylines. Having  Dick Grayson ascend to the Cowl while Bruce Wayne was off tripping the time stream fantastic was an excellent run. Having him wrestle with the concept of donning a mythos and making it his own while not wanting to fail his mentor gave me some of the more enjoyable moments of the past few years. But eh, who cares! Not DC, as they continue revealing their post-Flashpoint world.

It seems like it sucks.

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Over at Comics Alliance they’re surfing an article from IGN that breaks down a lot of the shit that shall become of the Batman Universe after Flashpoint finishes flashing and pointing at us. There’s news of the creative teams on Batman, Detective, and more. There’s the news of who will be rocking out as Robin. And finally, there’s confirmation that the Batman Universe is about to get a bit 1990’s extreme!

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I’m with you, I thought that the “Hitler Flips Out Over Event X” video had been beaten into mush and fed to my grandparents in their Deathcenters. Maybe it has been. That didn’t stop Rendar and myself from laughing our asses off at the latest incarnation. Adolph finds out about the DC reboot and handles it only moderately worse than the minds here at OL did.

Hit the jump to check out the video.

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Pigs! If oogling Catwoman from afar in Batman: Arkham City wasn’t good enough for you, now you’ve hit the jackpot. Selina Kyle isn’t just going to be a latex-clad foil and sexual dynamo for the players to drool over. No sir! She’s going to be a fully playable character. A manipulable fetish object for everyone to enjoy. This was revealed today in an impressively sexist trailer complete with gratuitous shots of ass, glistening lips, and a “warrior pose” which has Kyle arching her back, pushing out her tits, and posing for your enjoyment.

Female empo-meow-erment, lol, get it? Awful, I know.

Hit the jump for the reveal trailer.

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Woah, now this shit is colossal. DC is relaunching every title with a #1 starting on August 31, and also offer same-day digital sales. In addition, they’re going to feature “younger” versions of all your favorite characters. Or something.

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