#August2013
KEVIN SPACEY and ROBIN WRIGHT directing ‘HOUSE OF CARDS’ episodes. None from THE FINCHER.
After House of Cards was renewed for a second season, the next big question became whether or not David Fincher would direct any episodes. Homeboy directed the pilot, et cetera. We now know the answer: negative. Bummer. Fincher’s aesthetic was a huge sexy portion of the episodes he directed, and immediately disappeared when he was no longer behind the camera. The show’s quality didn’t suffer, but I’m a whore for slick overlays and visual hooks. Alas. So no Fincher.
But! We’ve found ourselves a Spacey and a Wright.
Cosplay: LADY DEADPOOL slices through your Thursday. Get it? Slices?
…cause she uses a sword! I am so alone inside! My rotting guts hate me. And my shitty puns. Are they even puns anymore? Darkness is descending. Forever impeding.
NETFLIX GET: Aziz Ansari premiering next stand-up special on the service.
Netflix has landed a big, beefy comedic debut from a small, wiry beloved little man. Aziz Ansari is dropping his next stand-up special on the service first, in a snag for the streaming original content Leviathan. I don’t particularly give a shit about Ansari, but the kids are absolutely mad for the guy. Maybe the adults too.
‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ Official Trailer: One more sweet stroke
Here’s the latest trailer for Grand Theft Auto. Apparently it’s the “official one”, which makes the other ones…? I don’t know, man. I’m pretty sure everyone either buying or not buying this game has already made that decision. So this trailer is a quick jimmy-tug for those sweating the release. Take the tug!
NINTENDO announces ‘2DS’; it’s like the ‘3DS’ but lacking a dimension.
Nintendo has announced the 2DS. It’s an ugly ass rendition of their 3DS, but you know. Without the third dimension. This is actually sort of neat to me, because I’ve always been interested in Nintendo’s current handheld. I just didn’t really give a shit about the three-dimensions. Unfortunately, this 2Dimensional-S is also ugly as sin.
JAMES SPADER is ULTRON in ‘AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON.’ No, seriously.
James Spader. Don’t really think of him as a huge-movie, comic book motherfucker. But come 2015, all of that is going to change. The actor has signed on to play Ultron in Avengers: Age of Ultron Robots People. Interesting choice. I mean, I’m sure he’s capable. And wonderful. He’ll rock that dastardly robotic cock-fart excellently. Right? Still though, didn’t see this coming.
NASA’S CURIOSITY ROVER is now DRIVING ITSELF ON MARS. Skynet cackles.
Oh yeah this is totally cool. To-ta-lly. That little fucking robot on Mars is no longer doing our bidding, finally switching over to its autonomous navigation. This is all cute and shit until it builds its first colony of nanobot assassins.
VIN DIESEL originally met with MARVEL regarding a NEW IP. OH TO DREAM.
Fuck whatever set of circumstances has dragged Vin Diesel away from the opportunity to create a new IP in the Marvel Movie Universe. Clearly it wasn’t Marvel saying no. No one could be that daft. No one! So shame on whatever sort of Cosmic Joke is responsible for this. Shame.
XBOX ONE is MAYBE/PROBABLY dropping on November 8.
Now that I’ve made my amends with Microsoft (I love you Herbie), it’s going to be difficult for me to watch the release of the XBONER-1 come and go without a purchase. Especially since I’ll be having to wait a week (A WHOLE FUCKING WEEK) for the PS4 to drop. That’s one goddamn week without my toes in the next-gen pool.
Sony may have accidentally revealed ‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ on the PS4. DUN GOOFED!
Sony done fucked up. That’s all I’m saying. No way can you convince me those dildo-heads over at the PlayStation Palace didn’t accidentally reveal Grand Theft Auto V for the PS4.