Everybody! Everybody is in this fucking movie, and I cannot wait. Yes, Casey Affleck. Welcome to the trip. No, don’t let the tight quarters get to you. There is room to sit down. Right on my knee.

Read the rest of this entry »

Authoritarian regimes maintain power by cracking skulls and giving exactly zero fucks.

Remember that time Napoleon rewarded Boxer’s ceaseless efforts with a trip to the glue-factory? Or how about when Grand Moff Tarkin blew up an entire goddamn planet? And who could ever forget when the children of Panem murdered each other for entertainment?

The reason that all of this wonderful brutality occurred was because those in power didn’t have to justify their actions. Without checks and balances, these motherfuckers were able to do as these pleased, whatever the consequences. And although freedom fighters occasionally inspire resistance, there are still plenty of totalitarian forces at work today.

Even in the beer world.

Tonight I’m drinking a limited edition Russian Imperial Stout from the folks at Otter Creek Brewing. Having had my interest piqued by the Soviet-styled design on the label and box, I wanted to learn more about this stout. Hell, I even compiled a list of questions. But when I went to the brewery’s website, I was greeted by nothing more than an “under construction” declaration and the encouragement to visit the Otter Creek Facebook page.

Thanks but no thanks, Otter Creek! I haven’t been on Facebook in years, and I ain’t fallin’ for your ruse! It’s pretty obvious what’s goin’ on. The Otter Creek Elite wants me to join Facebook and “friend” them, and then they’ll monitor my beer-drinkin’ habits (via status updates and photo evidence) to target me more directly! Before I know it, Otter Creek shadow agents will be infiltrating the parties I throw, telling revelers about the newest promotions available from a beloved Middlebury, Vermont brewery.

Insidious.

Read the rest of this entry »

Did you think that Halo 4 was the beginning of a trilogy? You fucking dullard. Trilogies are so 2000s. Now we are into the realm of the amorphous saga. Whatever the fuck that means. How do I interpret it? I take it to make a license to expand ceaselessly into the future, without having to justify story arcs and all that superfluous silliness.

Read the rest of this entry »

Let’s not kill ourselves trying to figure out who Sarah Gadon is going to be playing in the Amazing Spider-Man movies. Days after the news that Mary Jane was cut from the second movie and was being recast, we get this news regarding Gadon. Hmm. Hmm! Let us all bite down on our bubble pipes. And go hmm.

Read the rest of this entry »

File this under: don’t question it, just love it. Nicolas Winding Refn wants to take his Viking Warrior flick (that in full disclosure I haven’t seen but want to and it’s streaming on Netflix why don’t I just get off my lazy ass Jesus Christ…) and flip it a sequel. In Tokyo. In the Future. Somehow.

Read the rest of this entry »

Props to our own Faux Bot for shoving this gem across my path. It becomes quickly evident that this video is a gag. However, that doesn’t stem the awesome and accurate representation of a good portion of people you’ll meet cruising the aisles at conventions. And furthermore? I genuinely love everyone who matches this portrayal. I don’t know.

Read the rest of this entry »

It is no secret that I am a fan of The Rock. Let the tattoo of his perfect porcelain smile on my left ass cheek remind you. Let the burn-in of his Greatest Hits DVD on my plasma screen remind you. So fuck yeah, I am totally in line with giving the dude a role in the fifth Terminator movie.

Read the rest of this entry »

Ah, it’s been a minute on the cosplay tip. Let’s rally with some latex-bound Black Cat goodness. No?

Read the rest of this entry »

The inevitable has happened. Marvel has signed Robert Downey Jr. for the second and third Avenging flicks. No brainer, right? Still though – no mention of Iron Man 4. My guess? I’m still pushing for his death-sacrifice/resurrection in the aforementioned movies. What do you peoples make of all this?

Read the rest of this entry »

If you folks are anything like me, you’ve often thought how cool it would be to have super powers.  You also love avocados.  However this Opinions Vary has nothing to do with super powers … avocados might play into it later on.

This week’s Opinions Vary is about Time Travel.  More specifically, where would I like to visit in the sands of time?  Hit the jump and let’s do this thing.

Read the rest of this entry »