The fifth Terminator flick is coming! Is anyone excited for this movie? No? Well, how about this! What if I told you it was a reboot? Eh? We all fucking love those! Wee!

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Coming out of Star Trek Into Unnecessary Reveals, a slow rolling realization swept over me. J.J. Abrams wasn’t unquestionably awesome. In fact, he was becoming the master of Smug, Self-Satisfaction courtesy of Contrived, Forced Mysteries. Don’t get me wrong. He can get great performances out of folks. He can cut a mean set piece. However, there are other concerns. As I sat stewing, wanting to chop him and the entirety of the Bad Plotting team in the fucking neck, I began to get concerned. You see, this is the ass clown who is the official steward of The Franchise.

I was concerned.

After much ruminations on the topic – involving Divinations courtesy of Blood Letting, Tin Foil Hats, and countless conversations with our own Eduardo Pluto – I’ve come to a conclusion. Abrams ain’t right for Star Wars. Or, at the very least he isn’t the Glory Be Messiah that I (I will take culpability for jizzing all over his initial announcement) originally ordained him to be. Here’s the deal: Abrams could knock it out of the park. Episode VII could rule. I’m allowing for that possibility. But this OV is dedicated to the delineation of my various anxieties involving Captain Lens Flare and Self Back-Patting.

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OH SHIT. I knew I had been good this year. Said my prayers. Eaten my vegetables. How else can I explain what is obviously the greatest casting that Marvel hasn’t made quite yet? The Studio that Tony Built has requested a meeting with one of the stars of This Summer’s Best Movie (So Far), and I’m half-giddy, half-delirious at the world we are living in.

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Sweet Lords of Kobol. The cast of X-Men: Days of Future Past has swollen yet again, adding some dude who acts in things I haven’t seen. Is anyone remotely worried about the size of this cast? Or is it just me? Why aren’t you wearing the tin-foil undies and the open-nipple t-shirts, either? You fucks. You fucks!

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Hideo Kojima is searching for a crew of video gaming peoples to overhaul his iconic Metal Gear Solid using the Fox Engine. Fuck yes. I will take that for a dollar! Or twenty! However many of them there dollars it takes to control Snake on the cinematic masterpiece that kick started a series revival.

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Whether you enjoyed Man of Steel or not, one thing is evident. Zod and Kal-El beat the living shit out of Metropolis. Obviously though, right? I mean how else to evoke 9/11 Imagery without some uttered destruction? Kyler Baker has issued a browser game turned film critique that allows you to bash in the Super City yourself.

It’s dope.

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Batman all done up in latex. Lady Bane with the muzzle. I don’t know. This son of a bitch just seems to be a fetishist’s wonderful juicy dream.

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New Pacific Rim trailer. Yet again upping the ante. Please let this movie be as a neat as it seems.

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Greg Pak seems to be the go-to for the Super-Guy right now. The scribe is currently helming Batman & Superman: The Odd Couple, and this November he is going to be taking over Kal Kent’s flagship title. The good sir will be joined by Aaron Kuder, combining into the sort of interesting brew that may lure me back onto the comic’s jock. It seems so fuzzy. And welcoming.

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I had myself a crush on Peggy Carter in Captain Unfrozen Guy: Tony Stark’s Second Fiddle. Big time. So when dummy Rogers plunged his bi-plane-thing-whatever into the ice, I figured I would never see her again. That isn’t the case! Not at all. In fact, I may be seeing her even sooner than Cap 2: Bucky Lives! When, you ask? Perchance the Iron Man 3 Blu-Ray.

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