As I’ve said ad nauseam lately, Image has been firing on all cylinders. One of the reasons for their righteous domination is their focus on the fucking creators. DC seems to have taken notice of Image and its bustling stable of marketable creators, ninjaing the idea of marketing the creators themselves. Shit, even the aesthetic is redolent of the Image campaign.
Buy These F**king Comics! – June 13, 2012: Peter Parker Pederast
June 13th, 2012 by Caffeine PoweredHey friends! It’s time. Time to make the comic book list. I am endeavoring to craft this list amid a steady stream of flu-powered sweat dribbling down my dapper dome. Wipe, wipe, wipe my brow and then I continue soldiering on. Though I may be sickened even as tomorrow falls, I’ll take respite in knowing that I shall be sweating my grimy paws over some new funny books. Consider this my shamanistic powwow. I will share the titles that I hope shall pull me through my delirium. You follow up this vision quest by dropping the titles that you have staked out this week.
Don’t know what’s dropping? Hit up ComicList.
DC’s New Gay Character Will Be ‘Major’, ‘Iconic’, ‘Male’, And More Descriptives!
May 22nd, 2012 by Caffeine PoweredCyeah! DC has to be loving the tidal that is sloshing around their ankles over their announcement of a prominent character of theirs being gay in the New 52. Here’s some more information regarding the character, who hasn’t been introduced into the New 52. Yet.
‘SWAMP THING’ x ‘ANIMAL MAN’ Event ‘ROTWORLD’ Kicks Off In Their 12th Issues.
May 15th, 2012 by Caffeine PoweredDespite not reading Animal Man or Swamp Thing (listen I’m buying the trades, get off my ass), I’ve been kept abreast of their interweaving storylines courtesy of my brother. These mingling storylines will be coming to a head this August in the 12th issue of both titles.
Buy These F**king Comics! – May 8, 2012: Destroy The Earth, Touch The Animals.
May 9th, 2012 by Caffeine PoweredThe name is a command, but this jib-joint is a commune. We put on our comfy clothes. Right now I’m wearing sweatpants, black socks, a cheesy pop culture t-shirt. We sit in a circle. Capri Sun will be given to all. Then we talk about the comic books we’re buying this week. Sharing is caring. No belligerence, no snark. Rub my belly. It’s warm, isn’t it? That’s because it is powered by my love for you, my comic book brethren. If you can’t keep the PMA you’ll be jettisoned to the dungeon, to dick-wrestle labia monsters with teeth and ill intent.
Don’t know what comics are coming out? Here’s a list.
COMICS WE’RE BUYING THIS WEEK: Experimenting On The Prophets And Bat-Men
April 18th, 2012 by Caffeine PoweredAhoy, good friends and passive enemies. This is Caff-Pow, and I’m here to guide you on this most glorious of days. Wednesday. The day that new comic book arrives on shelves and in digi-places, offering those of us who subscribe to the paneled page a new dosage of our narcotic. Here in this column we all gather around and share the jams, joints, dosages, dopeness and other assorted nonsenses we’re buying this week. I’ll go first. It only seems fitting I show you mine before you show me yours. Not sure what’s coming out? Hit up ComicList.
Comics We’re Buying This Week: The Prophets Speak Of Infinite Boners
March 21st, 2012 by Caffeine Powered…Man, I fucking hate coming up with headlines sometimes. Funny books drop today, and we as comic book hounds zig and zag our asses to the Comic Farm to snag that which interests us. This column right here is intended to serve as the watering hole where we all share the wares we snagged. I can’t do this alone, people. What are you buying this week?
Not sure what’s dropping? Hit up ComicList.
Variant Covers: Spiders, Red Wings, and Frankenstein’s Monsters.
August 9th, 2011 by Caffeine Powered
Every Wednesday I’m granted a brief reprieve from the quiet of my own mind. Every Wednesday in the form of images and words I’m given a myriad of different Universes to momentarily inhabit. Bulging muscles and metaphysical pontifications. Heroics and psychological demons. Every week. What a gift.
This is Variant Covers. Comic book column. The comics I’m snagging on a given week, or stoked upon. What are you reading? I’m interested.
Variant Covers: Scalps, Stretchy Junk, and Futurists.
June 28th, 2011 by Caffeine Powered
It’s that mid-summer moment where the comic books are twisting in my greasy palms, affronted by humidity and my general toxicity. Comic books! One of the great stalwarts of summers, the MEGA-EVENTS coming out weekly. Say what you will about the general quality of the EXPLODEY TIME STORY ARCS that permeate the shelves during the summer, I’ve come to need them just as a means of passing time. Like marking days off a calendar, they’re there. And they’re omnipresent. Keeping me company.
Like the drunk Uncle at the Christmas parties who you thinks annoys you, but then when he dies in a horror shit-show of cirrhosis and bloody vomiting, you miss him under the mistletoe. Trying to kiss your Mom, his first cousin.
I don’t know what I’m writing about anymore. This is Variant Covers, your weekly take on the tasty licks hitting comic books shelves.
Jeff Lemire Is Writing ‘Animal Man’, And The Complete List of All New #1s.
June 13th, 2011 by Caffeine Powered
I don’t know how in the names of the Lords of Kobol that I missed this. I lamented that Jeff Lemire was no longer writing Superboy. What I didn’t notice, because of various ignorances and stupidities is that he is writing Animal Man. I’ll take that trade any day of the week.











