Call me a replicant and send me to work in the Salt Mines upon Planet Priapism. With one gnarly directorial acquisition the people behind Blade Runner 2: Han Solo’s Revenge have gotten me to care about the movie.
According to Ridley Scott, Harrison Ford found the Blade Runner 2 script the “best thing ever omfg wow!” or something. ‘Cause like, you know Scott would totally report, “I sent him the script and he found it to be cindering dog shit.”
Ridley Scott really hasn’t done much for me since 1999, and he certainly didn’t do anything for me with Prometheus. So while I’m stoked that he isn’t directing Blade Runner 2, I’m sort of bummed it exists at all. Though, who knows. Maybe fresh blood, fresh take, fresh batch of enjoyment? #KeepinThatPMA
Apparently Syfy is totally serious about being totally serious about producing dope content. The channel has doubled down on the acknowledgement that they’ve been fucking up for a while now (SO SAY WE ALL), and is going about addressing that development with new promising series. The latest announcement? A miniseries sequel to 2001.
Just how many of Harrison Ford’s defining projects is the good sir going to return to? He’s doing Star Wars, he’s been hankering for Indiana Jones, and now he’s being offered the reins to Blade Runner 2.
Katy Perry wants in on the Blade Runner 2 action. Hmm. Given that I regard Blade Runner 2 as nothing more than the feces-bases elixir of an encore that Ridley Scott is going to use to wash Prometheus down our throats, seeing one of my eternal crushes play Rachael may actually be the only thing to get me excited about this movie. Listen I know that probably sounds crazy but I just woke up and I shudder slightly when even thinking about Prometheus. Just leave me the fuck alone. I am a firework.
If the shit show that was Prometheus didn’t talk you out of believing that the sequel to Blade Runner would be good, take a fat hit of this to your dome. The fucking writer for the bloody diarrhea monster that was Green Lantern has been brought aboard the project.
Abandon hope, all ye.
SyFy, Ridley Scott, and Frank Spotnitz are adapting PKD’s novel Man in the High Castle for TV. Said book is glorious alt-history, wrapped around mind-bending ideas about reality. Which, I suppose is a bit obvious given the author. What do you PKD fans think? Me? Color in the circle that says “Caff-Pow has no idea how to feel about this.”
Well, fuck. Prometheus 2 is going to enter into this world, aiming straight for our cerebral cortex with vomit-inducing themes of faith and nonsense. Here is hoping Ridley Scott can find himself a human being aside from Damon Lindelof to write the script. Here is hoping Lindelof’s busy schedule doesn’t let him do it. It’d be amazing to see what could happen if the writer wasn’t patting himself on the back with one hand, while mashing out high-fives to Christianity with the other ad nauseam.