NEIL GAIMAN returning to Marvel, bringing ANGELA with him.

March 21st, 2013 by Caffeine Powered

Neil Gaiman.

I didn’t see this one coming. I suppose that isn’t surprising, since I cannot see much through the womb of caffeine and masturbating that I exist within. Neil Gaiman is returning to Marvel, and the good man is bringing Angela with him. Yes, that Angela. The one he co-created with Todd McExpensiveBaseBalls way back in the day.

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Preview: ‘ALL-NEW X-MEN’ #1 artwork by Stuart Immonen. So hot.

August 22nd, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

I hate the fact that the only way I’m going to enjoy Jean Grey in my Marvel universe is through some wormhole time-bending bullshit. I do. However, I can’t stunt. I’m going to buy this, for Red. And for Stuart Immonen’s gorgeous artwork.

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Buy These F**king Comics! – August 8, 2012: Becky Cloonan, Godzilla, Jesus Christ, and Other Rock Stars.

August 8th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

Greetings, Earthlings and interdimensional lurkers. It’s Wednesday, and that can only mean one thing. Time for me to lumber down to the LCS, notice that they don’t have the two comic books I want, and flip a shelf. Scream loudly. Dive head first through the glass, trailing blood and tendon dangling from said shards. Scream at drivers as I run wildly through traffic, picking bits and beads of skin and  skull out of my Kingdom Come Superman t-shirt. Stumble into a ditch. Write this column telepathically, using the fading moments of my consciousness to commune with you folks.

Let us share, as darkness dawns on crumbling psyche, the comics we want to buy this week. Certainly, with shredded skin and violated visage, I’ll miss something you’re eager for. That is half the fun. Don’t know what’s coming out? Hit up Comic List.

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Buy These F**king Comics! – August 1, 2012: Hawkeye Is A Homewrecker

August 1st, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

Welcome friends to the place for fans of the sequential art, thrice-engorged breasts, and monologuing. This here column is the watering hole where you can share the funny rags you’re snagging on a given week. The hole itself is Mountain Dew laced with hallucinogens, so right about the time all our faces become gaping maw anuses rocketing lasers into the night sky, begin screaming your choices while running into the wilderness.

You may notice that my choices are indubitably not yours, and that’s cool. Use it as an opportunity to recommend the hotness that no one else is mentioning, or perhaps has not heard of. If you don’t know what’s what titles are arriving this week, hit up Comic List.

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Marvel Announces ‘MARVEL NOW’ Bringing MASSIVE RELAUNCHES And I Quietly Weep.

July 3rd, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

Ugh. Jesus Christ. Now Marvel is relaunching everything ever, shaking up creators teams and daring to address everything save for good stories. Maybe these new titles will be good, maybe they won’t. However you know what dominates hype? Just fucking  quality storytelling. Just focus on it guys. Please. I’m begging you. The wave of hype will dissipate after we go “Wow! Relaunched bullshit that’ll devolve into status quo! This totally isn’t a response to the Blase 52!” and then things will return to functioning as a simmering churn factory for movie scripts.

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Buy These F**king Comics! – June 13, 2012: Peter Parker Pederast

June 13th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

Hey friends! It’s time. Time to make the comic book list. I am endeavoring to craft this list amid a steady stream of flu-powered sweat dribbling down my dapper dome. Wipe, wipe, wipe my brow and then I continue soldiering on. Though I may be sickened even as tomorrow falls, I’ll take respite in knowing that I shall be sweating my grimy paws over some new funny books. Consider this my shamanistic powwow. I will share the titles that I hope shall pull me through my delirium. You follow up this vision quest by dropping the titles that you have staked out this week.

Don’t know what’s dropping?  Hit up ComicList.

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MYSTERIO Is The Villain For Marvel’s ‘SPIDER-MEN’. Pshaw, Miles Got This.

April 27th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

Marvel wants you to know the villain that’ll have Miles Morales and Peter Parker joining together for one vicious Spider team. Or rather as I see it: the villain that Morales is going to have to save Parker’s dumb ass from. Mysterio! Boom!

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Marvel Continues Teasing Possible ‘ULTIMATE’ Crossover In New ‘SPIDER-MEN’ Promo. 616-U?

March 28th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

Marvel continues to tease the tip when it comes to some sort of crossover involving both Peter Parker and the Spider-Man of their Ultimate universe. I can’t recall a time when they’ve riffed on this sort of interaction between the two universes, but if they’re going to do it they might as well do it with their best character. Yeah, that’s right. Miles Morales.

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‘SPIDER-MEN #1′ Comes This June From Marvel. NOTE THE PLURAL.

March 9th, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

Marvel’s announced uh, something, in the vein of Spider-Men #1  arriving this June. At least I was all “If those fucks get rid of Miles Morales I will literally cut them”, but then I noticed something…it isn’t the Ultimate universe.

Hit the jump for the promo and speculation.

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Comics We’re Buying This Week: Holy Sh*t, A Paul Pope Sighting!

February 22nd, 2012 by Caffeine Powered

The name is the game! Welcome to Comics We’re Buying This Week, the communal comic book welcome wagon where we all share the hotness we’re snagging from the funny book farm on a given Wednesday. Per usual: my taste is shite, and I’m always looking to broaden my horizons. Don’t know what’s dropping? Behold ComicList.

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