Old Man Logan. Like, the last thing I enjoyed from Mark Millar. Didn’t really need any additional mythos added after its coda, but apparently we are getting a new tale anyways.
Brian Michael Bendis is leaving Uncanny X-Men and All-New X-Men. Which is no big whoop to me, because I didn’t dig Uncanny and All-New went stale potato chip over the course of twenty issues or so. However, I do give a big whoop about the creator signing a new exclusive contract with Marvel. It’s uh, big news or something?
We have crossed the SUPERHERO TEAM RUBICON. Proudly charging into OMEGA LEVELS of absurdity. Riffing on the insane popularity (understandably, you pig fucks) of the Guardians of the Galaxy, Marvel is teaming them up with others. YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE TEAM-UPS WITH YOUR TEAMS.
Miles Morales – my one and true Spider-Man – is somehow joining the All-New X-Men. Which answers the question, “What could finally get Caff-Pow to read All-New X-Men?” In truth, our own Johnny Hotsauce has finally shoved me onto the precipice of reading it anyways. But now, I’m diving off the ledge! I’m not particularly certain of the mechanics that’ll bring Morales to the proper Marvel Universe. I also don’t particularly care.
Well then. Brian Michael Bendis and Michael Oeming’s original comic Powers is finally coming to flat screens around the world. It’s been talked about for ages, and well fuck my greasy knobs!, it’s coming. But here’s the interesting thing. The son of a bitch is coming courtesy of PlayStation. Yep.
Fuck yeah! If the Ultimate universe lives, I’m glad this is the form its taking. Everyone and their dumb brother seems ruined by Galactus, leaving Miles Morales to pretty much run the fucking show. I love it. I love it!
I didn’t see this one coming. I suppose that isn’t surprising, since I cannot see much through the womb of caffeine and masturbating that I exist within. Neil Gaiman is returning to Marvel, and the good man is bringing Angela with him. Yes, that Angela. The one he co-created with Todd McExpensiveBaseBalls way back in the day.
I hate the fact that the only way I’m going to enjoy Jean Grey in my Marvel universe is through some wormhole time-bending bullshit. I do. However, I can’t stunt. I’m going to buy this, for Red. And for Stuart Immonen’s gorgeous artwork.
Buy These F**king Comics! – August 8, 2012: Becky Cloonan, Godzilla, Jesus Christ, and Other Rock Stars.
Greetings, Earthlings and interdimensional lurkers. It’s Wednesday, and that can only mean one thing. Time for me to lumber down to the LCS, notice that they don’t have the two comic books I want, and flip a shelf. Scream loudly. Dive head first through the glass, trailing blood and tendon dangling from said shards. Scream at drivers as I run wildly through traffic, picking bits and beads of skin and skull out of my Kingdom Come Superman t-shirt. Stumble into a ditch. Write this column telepathically, using the fading moments of my consciousness to commune with you folks.
Let us share, as darkness dawns on crumbling psyche, the comics we want to buy this week. Certainly, with shredded skin and violated visage, I’ll miss something you’re eager for. That is half the fun. Don’t know what’s coming out? Hit up Comic List.
Welcome friends to the place for fans of the sequential art, thrice-engorged breasts, and monologuing. This here column is the watering hole where you can share the funny rags you’re snagging on a given week. The hole itself is Mountain Dew laced with hallucinogens, so right about the time all our faces become gaping maw anuses rocketing lasers into the night sky, begin screaming your choices while running into the wilderness.
You may notice that my choices are indubitably not yours, and that’s cool. Use it as an opportunity to recommend the hotness that no one else is mentioning, or perhaps has not heard of. If you don’t know what’s what titles are arriving this week, hit up Comic List.