Finally! We know a pseudo-date for when we will be able to buy our Oculus Rifts. Don our haptic bodysuits. And bang one another in a virtual bathrub while the Kool-Aid man urinates delicious drink all over us! Next year!
‘Cause everybody is down with a fucking virtual-reality-augmented-reality-altered-reality-something-reality headset of their own these days. Microsoft’s iteration is more holodeck than it is virtual reality. And like Oculus Rift and all the others it seems cool enough, yeah, okay, but I’m not dying to own one.
MAKE MINE SNOW CRASH, YA FUCKS! Neal Stephenson has joined an augmented-reality company as their fucking Chief Futurist. And it doesn’t lead to me hanging out in the Black Sun, it’s a colossal fucking disappointment.
Google Glass! You poor sack of shit! You were cool for like nine minutes! But then Oculus Rift rolled up and nabbed the attention you were garnering. Pulled down your pants, dismissively flicked your beans, and then stole your bae. But apparently you ain’t taking this laying-lying-laying down. No! You sure ain’t, and 2015 is going to be your year. With your buddy Intel helpin’ out.
I could say I understand the jist of these new details, but I’m just like “oh shit new Xbox details. I don’t understand them with my fat brain, but I know I want it.” Do you understand these details? Are you excited like me? It’s a cucumber in my pants, chill out.
Here’s the first video from Google’s glasses. Pretty unremarkable stuff, right? This isn’t the augmented future I was promised! Patience, Caff. Patience.
Ain’t this an interesting eye sore all over the teats of a town in Wales. Riffing off of a TED talk that talked about doing an entire down in QR codes, they’ve plastered more than 1,000 codes onto their structures and such.
…How long will we augment reality before we just call it reality? Eh, just something that fall out of my ass right now. More relevant to this whole news post thing is me telling you that a patent Google registered totally points towards a helmet to compliment their AR glasses. This doesn’t make sense.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sheezy. This is the illest of the ills, right here. Google has released a preview (more I assume, like a proof of concept or whatever) of their augmented reality glasses. I’m all over this like stink on my boxer shorts.
Ain’t this a real tickle to my futurism taint. Google is going to release augmented reality glasses. They aren’t the contacts/retinal implants I’m clamoring for, but they’re a start.