#Slop Culture

Rumor: Apple considering buying Disney for $200 Billion. Hail The Monoculture!

apple buying disney 200 billion

If Apple buys Disney, our culture would be consolidated to such a degree, if it isn’t already, that I’ll probably begin removing my teeth fillings and building my cabin in the woods.

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Watch: ‘Super Mario Odyssey’ In ‘Grand Theft Auto’ Is The Nightmare You’d Expect

Seeing Mario run around vaguely realistic humans in Super Mario Odyssey was already a nightmare. So, why not double down and imagine this ill-fitting juxtaposition in Grand Theft Auto 4? There is no reason, I say! No reason!

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KFC’s Latest Tech Suggests Orders Based On Your Face

kfc orders based on face

KFC has some new technology that is ready to suggests orders to you. Based on your face. Hey, makes sense. I’m always hungry for some Deep Fried Sadness and Flatulence-Caked Mashed Potatoes.

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Watch: ‘Doom’ Running On A MacBook Pro’s TouchBar

Watch: Jason Momoa Drinking Beer And Throwing An Axe Is The Happiness We Need

AT&T buying HBO, CNN, and the rest of Time Warner for $80 Billion

at&t buying time-warner

Jesus Christ. The All-Seeing-Eye is open us. The consolidation of all culture. The homogenization of All Things. Another Leviathan has been born, mutated, grown even larger.

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Dope Art: Thirty Years of Wrestling Catchphrases In One Infographic

Gene Wilder has passed away at the age of 83

gene wilder

2016 is a fucking savage when it comes to sloughing off the mortal coils of beloved famous folk, eh? Fucking savage.

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Mr. Fuji, WWE Hall of Fame Manager, Passes Away

mr. fuji

Fuckkk! Mr. Fuji taught me a lot as a young human being on this Blue Marble. For example. Always surround yourself with talented people. Embrace uncomfortable and potentially racist depictions of your nationality. And most importantly, if someone gets in your face, blind those pieces of shit by throwing salt in their eyes.

He will be missed.

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Watch: A Hamster clearing a ‘Super Mario Bros’ level is your Monday Zen

Fantastic.

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