Okay, okay, fellow MCU losers. We can untie our balls, unfill our asses, our sacrifices to the curiously erotic Gods of Pop Culture have been heard. Disney has sweetened its offer to acquire Fox’s film and television assets, and the deal is back on.
Fucking Comcast! Come on. Come on, dude. All of us MCU nerds were already stroking our pink giblets to the idea of a unified Marvel Cinematic Universe. Don’t do this do us. Don’t.
Dicklord Comcast trying to stop that Disney/Fox merger with its own bid. Potentially killing unified MCU wet dreams everywhere
Fucking Comcast, man. Trying to interrupt the fucking Disney/Fox merger with a bid of their own. Can you imagine if this monolithic turd salad actually pulled this off? Like, after we’ve, the unwashed MCU fanboys, have spent so many restless evenings jacking it to the thought of Wolverine in the Avengers? If we’re going to have the nauseating merger of two giant corporate entities, give me the one that results in Deadpool hanging out with Bucky. Not this bullshit.
Sony may be looking to get into that selling-their-film-and-TV-assets game, folks. It’s hard not to imagine the House of Mouse swooping in, if this sale is legit. This is notable news for comic book movie fans, as well as those who fear Disney owning the entirety of Western culture. But, hey! Maybe we’ll have Venom in Avengers 7!
I don’t understand Oscar season.
As an anxiety-riddled, hyperventilating-mess, the glands in my brain-pipes often don’t work well enough for me to understand much. But I’m sure, even after a fresh dump, a jettisoned load, and my favorite strain of THC, I still wouldn’t understand Awards season.
I get watching a bunch of people sucking one another off. Covering each other in fluids and fantasy, moaning and churning against one another, hoping for the big finish to end up in their hands.
But, I still don’t understand Oscar season.
Or, maybe it’s that I understand Oscar season. And I hate it.
This is about as good as it’s going to get today, friends. After the jump, because, you know, Twitter video.
Apple can’t just sit around and let Disney buy up our culture! Hell to the fuck to the no! So, what’s an equally aspiring monolith to do in the face of Disney’s Fox acquisition? It’s simple, friends. Buy Netflix.
Watch: Run The Jewels syncs up perfectly with ‘Diners, Drive-Ins And Dives’, praise the slop culture apocalypse
I, I don’t know how people fucking figure these things out. That said, I’m glad that someone decided to do so. RTJ? Guy Fieri? The mash-up we didn’t know we needed. May it be a light for you in these dark times.
After the jump, because the Twitter video player is garbage.
Yeah, we’re going to be getting some X-Men in our Marvel Studios movies, folks. I know that’s what everyone is interested in, as it pertains to the fucking Disney-Fox deal. That, and not, you know, Disney slowly acquiring our entire goddamn culture. X-Men! With the Avengers! Wee!