#Monday Morning Commute

Monday Morning Commute: The Relevance of Rogues

Relevance of Rogues

Listen to the rogues that you come across.

These scoundrels are going to tell you things that make you uncomfortable. Hell, they might just tell you that your way of life is wrong, that it’s contributing to greater evils. When you give them an open ear, they’ll fill it with all sorts of detritus. Stuff that’s bound to upset your sensibilities. Ideas that make you want to vomit. Maybe they’ll ask you to chew on the notion that everything you believe is a lie. They’ll be vulgar and angry and a bit discomfiting.

And you need to listen to them.

`Cause right or wrong, if we don’t entertain roguish ideas then we have no right to accept the easy ones. Sure, some of the time the doomsayers and fringe-dwelling miscreants are wrong. But we can’t know that for sure unless we give `em a chance. And every now and then, when the blue moon turns blood red, the rogues are right. And when this is the case, they’re usually showing us that Daddy Society’s been belting the most hapless, defenseless of his children.

Listen to the rogues.

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Welcome to the Monday Morning Commute! I’m going to highlight some of the pop-culture junk I’ll be snackin’ on over the course of the week. Then, you hit up the comments and share your own recipes for entertainment-treats. It’s show-and-tell amongst the crew and passengers of Spaceship OL.

LIFT OFF!

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Monday Morning Commute: Disposable Zeroes

Disposable Zeroes

Come one, come all!

Step right up to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! This is the carny freakshow extraordinaire, spectacular spectacle  for all of us disposable zeroes who’ve climbed aboard Spaceship OL. What’re we doin’ here? Well, we’re goin’ to show off the various ways we’ll entertain ourselves throughout the course of the workweek.

`Cause without music and movies and television and comics and action figures and greasy burgers, what’s the goddamn point?

Let’s do this!

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Monday Morning Commute: So Happy Together

SO HAPPY

So it appears that Rendar didn’t do MMC this week! It’s okay. I love him. Bro-Love. Born out of a mutually shared origin story plucked from the depths of our Dad’s testicles. Grown deep in our Mom’s womb. Fostered by a shared diet of Soda, Video Games, Comic Books, and Rust In Peace listenings. This is a lightning warfare edition of MMC – typed (more) frantically (than usual) in-between duties on campus. ICYDK: This is the column where we share what we’re digging during a given week. Let’s dance.

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Monday Morning Commute: Oh, I’ll Tell You About the Goddamn Rabbits.

The Goddamn Rabbits

Aloha!

Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! What do we do here? Well, we discuss the various bites of nonsense we’ll be crammin’ into our skull-holes. Why do we have to do this? Well, if we don’t surround our brain-bones with inspiring, ridiculous, entertaining detritus, then there’s a chance that the bad vibes might get in. And bad vibes are to minds what termites are to wood.

You remember what the termites did to Grampy’s pirate leg, right?

So hop into the frenzy and show off what you’ll be doin’ this week!

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Monday Morning Commute: Charles Xavier Dove Into the Shallow End.

Xavier's Cannonball

Welcome to the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! In addition to being my feeble attempt to contribute to Spaceship OL, the MMC is the our proverbial water cooler. We gather `round and share the various ways we’ll be enjoyin’ ourselves throughout the week. Yes, it’s like show-and-tell, but for the Future-Net!

What’s that you’ll be eating? Doritos? How festive! And you, Larry with nubby pinky, you say you’re going to send bags of dogshit to your former secretary? Yes, I do think you’ll get restraining ordered! And Tammy, I can’t believe that you found those Peabo Bryson vinyls! Let `em spin, girl!

Let `em spin.

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Monday Morning Commute: The Hero We Need.

The Hero We Need.

Life is tricky and heroes help out.

There’s no doubt that there’re plenty of problems to be had. Even the strongest amongst us is still, ultimately, an insatiable consciousness traveling in a meek meat-vehicle. While many are bound to experience transcendence at some point, all must deal with turmoil. Hell, dealing with bullshit might be the very yarn woven throughout the entire fabric of the human experience.

“We are all bitched from the start,” Hemingway once wrote.

Luckily, the variety of problems running amok is matched by an equally impressive assortment of heroes. There’re all different sortss, some real and some fictional and others somewhere in between. What do they do? Well, right now they’re at work doin’ medical research and teachin’ guitar and writin’ plays and demonstratin’ the high-jump and makin’ pots of coffee and intermediatin’ conflicts and givin’ earnest advice and huggin’ it out. So if it seems like shit’s gettin’ mad-daunting, keep your eye out for a hero.

In the same letter mentioned above, Hemingway instructed his friend to “Forget your personal tragedy.”

That friend was F. Scott Fitzgerald.

My hero du jour? Michael Keaton. As a self-diagnosed maniac (diagnose yourself otherwise the man with the clipboard will tell you what you are), I need my inspiration to come from superheroes and ghouls and Tarantino characters. So, Keaton’s pretty perfect.

Us maniacs, we need Michael Keaton.

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Welcome to the MMC. I’m goin’ to show you some stuff I’ll be doin’ this week. Check it out and then hit up the comments section and describe what you’ll be rockin’ in the upcoming days.

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Monday Morning Commute: No Rest for the Wicked.

No Rest for the WickedAin’t no damn time to be on time anymore!

Yeah, you’re lookin’ at the third late MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE in a row. Why’s that, you ask? Well, could be because I’m so goddamn busy. Y’know how it is in this modern condition! Papers to file! Dogs to sic on mailmen! Fistfights to have in grocery store dairy aisles!

Things to do!

But even though I’m chronically tardy, I’m still tryin’ to resist! Tryin’ to brace myself against the crashing waves of responsibility. And that’s why I keep comin’ back to the MMC! I need ideas, folks! Suggestions that’ll keep my head up while I suffer the slings and arrows of the outrageous 9-5 life.

Help me find fun things to do!

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Monday Morning Commute: Leto Feelings Out.

Leto Feelings Out.

I feel like Jared Leto.

And I don’t mean the Jared Leto from last nite’s Academy Awards. No, that one was all about having beautiful long-ass hair. And usin’ his victory speech to pay tribute to his Mahma. And bein’ all dappered out, white tuxedo beamin’ contrasts off his spray-tan.

I don’t feel like that Jared Leto.

And hell, I don’t feel like 30 Seconds to Mars Jared Leto, neither. Y’know that one, right? Yeah, exactly, the Jared Leto that somehow learned to play guitar and be all frontman-like while figuing out how to live his so-called life. What’s that? Yeah, this Jared Leto is also known as Ride a Bicycle in the Middle of Goddamn Street Without a Helmet Jared Leto.

Nope, I ain’t that sort of Jared Leto.

Today, I feel like good `ole fashioned Fight Club Jared Leto. The Jared Leto who, for a moment, is really happy that he’s pretty and blonde and surrounded by some peers. This Jared Leto is all, “Check it, I can fight too, dudes! First rule is — oh wait, can’t say it! Ha! Get it?! Kawaii!” Everything is pretty sweet.

And then he runs into Edward Norton.

Quite frankly, I’m feeling the grind of the workweek and life responsibilities and my own mortality and the fact that it’s been goddamn months since I’ve sat down with a stack of comic books. Allow me to wax philosophic. Wax misanthropic. Wax bitter tonic.

Wax Jared Leto.

But alas! Right here’s the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE! I’m goin’  to show you some of the buoys I’ll be hopin’ to cling to as I avoid getting washed out into the deepest depths of the Bullshit Sea! Then, you hit up the comments and share your own ideas! Let’s do this!

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Monday Morning Commute: Slow Cook The Human Potroast

mmc! copy

Whoops! Late on the Monday Morning Commute tip. Didn’t realize it was going to be floating in flux this week. Then it occurred to me that Rendarbones Frankenpepsi is currently en route across the vast distance of the Empire in some sort of silver tube that is intent on dying God’s will. So provided that he doesn’t crash into the side of a Mountain (death is only a transition, he’d be reborn in Earth^42, so don’t cry), he’ll be back next week. However for now you’re dealing with my hurried, blast beat-esque rundown of what I’m enjoying this week. That’s what we do around here. In Monday Morning Commute.

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Monday Morning Commute: Happy Dead Prez Day!

Happy Dead Prez Day.

Quick! Look out your window!

See it? It’s floating right there! Yeah, right above the guesthouse your neighbor uses for his weekend binges of cocaine and SNES. No, it ain’t a UFO, at least not of the little-green-men, flying-saucer variety. And yes, it does look a bit like a rocketship made of impounded station wagons and junkyarded computer components.

Because it is.

What’s that? Oh, the lights on the side? You’re goddamn right they’re Christmas lights. What’re they there for? C’mon, they spell something out. Look closer, it’s not hard to see a two-letter combination. Yeah, you’ve got it.

OL.

Spaceship OL is touching down in your neighborhood. Why’s that? Well, it’s `cause we’re bringing you the MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE. Once you board the vessel, I’ll show you some of the strategies I’ll be using to spend the week celebrating existence. Then, you tell the crew and passengers what you’ll be doing to destroy boredom.

Let’s do this, before that nosy CPA across the street phones the neighborhood watch.

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