#Caffeine Powered

‘John Wick’ creator adapting ‘Hitman’ games into Hulu TV series. Perfect combo is perfect

john wick creator hitman tv series hulu

The motherfuckin’ creator of John Wick is adapting the Hitman franchise for Hulu. As far as pairings between talent and content go, this is pretty fucking perfect.

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Ben Affleck says he’s “contemplating” the ‘Batman’ solo movie. Bro, it’s cool, move on

ben affleck contemplating matt reeves batman movie

Poor fucking Ben Affleck. He’s all “contemplating” The Batman. Like, dude, it’s fine. BatFleck ain’t your thing. Be free. We won’t blame you. No need for all this deliberation and shit. I’d be exhausted too from starring in these Zack Snyder directed, critically panned, eternally burning dumpster fires.

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SNES Saturdays #3 – Thorgasms and the Great Bear Brawl

New SNES Saturdays, comrades! Bateman and I continue to suck, both existentially and at Donkey Kong Country! Join us as we talk Thor: Ragnarok, how annoying Eleven is on Stranger Things, and other miscellany.

Per usual, like, share, subscribe, whatever, yadda yadda on YouTube and Twitch.

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Nintendo planning to heavily increase Switch hardware production in 2018. Apparently they like money more than scarcity

nintendo switch production 2018

Nintendo got themselves some fucking plans in 2018 to ramp up Switch production. Not exactly a fucking controversial move, here. You know, given that the console dropped two of the best reviewed games since I sprouted pubes in the same fucking year.

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Denis Villeneuve still interested in directing a ‘Bond’ movie. I can’t even fucking handle the thought

denis villeneuve still interested directing bond movie

Denis Villeneuve is still interested in directing a Bond flick and my balls can’t even handle the thought. Admittedly, it can’t be Bond 25 due to his upcoming Dune adaptation. But, that doesn’t matter. Bond 26Bond 39. Just make it happen.

You see, I’ve been sweating Villeneuve for a good goddamn bit now. I mean, pretty much since Prisoners. However, man. It’s tough to difficult to describe how hard he rocked my geek prostate with Blade Runner 2049.

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‘Assassin’s Creed Origins’ has already doubled the initial sales of the previous installment. Dare I say, killing the sales charts

assassins creed origins sales double syndicate

The latest AssCreed has doubled the sales of the previous title across the same launch period. Drink that the fuck in. I’m not surprised though, because everything I’ve read about Assassin’s Creed Origins suggests that at the very least, it’s fun. A reinvention of a viscous formula? Not quite. However, the impression seems that the franchise benefitted from actually, oh I don’t know, taking a fucking year off. So, here’s hoping that Ubisoft makes the connection between the uptick in sales, and the deannualization of AssCreed.

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Weekend Open Bar: I Eat Stickers All The Time, Dude!

weekend open bar i eat stickers all the time

Friends! Friends. I’m at a level of fatigue that I do not usually reach. Oh, the ethers from beyond beckon me towards slumber. Like not eternal slumber, don’t get me wrong. More like, oh, I don’t know. Eating six Pop Tarts, drowning my esophagus in ice cream, and drifting off. Drifting off where? Ideally to the Astral Plane for a good twelve or so hours. Just ripping ass, snoring, and healing my weakened mind-shafts.

The good news?

The good news is that I am of that privileged sort that has the weekends off.

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‘Star Wars’ Live-Action TV series confirmed, coming to Disney streaming service. God bless torrents, right?

star wars live action disney streaming service

Star Wars live-action TV series coming to Disney’s streaming service. And this, friends, is why the lord created torrenting.

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EA is acquiring ‘Titanfall’ developer. Let’s see how long until they ruin yet another studio

ea acquiring respawn titanfall developer

Electronic Arts is acquiring Respawn Entertainment, the studio behind Titanfall. Now the clock is ticking, folks. Let’s see how long it takes the Behemoth to suck all the marrow out of this recently purchased studio. Let’s see how long before its carcass can be thrown onto the heap alongside the shit-soaked ruins of BioWare and the desiccated husk of Visceral Games.

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Rian Johnson is developing a whole new ‘Star Wars’ trilogy and I’m pretty damn excited

rian johnson new star wars trilogy

Holy fuck, friends. Not only are the UberCzars at Lucasfilm happy with Rian Johnson, they’re apparently really happy. How do we know this? Well, they’ve given him the opportunity to develop his own new Star Wars trilogy. Like, outside the Skywalker Saga. His own thing. As someone who has bitched about Lucasfilm just regurgitating the Greatest Hits, I can’t help but be torqued by this news. Finally, something new coming down the pipe.

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