#April2013
Microsoft’s CREATIVE DIRECTOR that tweeted ALWAYS-ON HATE is fired.
What a shocker. A Microsoft employee who literally spread his ass cheeks and shat upon potential customers worried about the Durascal 720’s always-on policy has gotten nixed. What a dumb fuck.
2 Comments »
‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ delayed until September 17, whattayagonnado.
Grand Theft Auto V has been delayed, thereby causing like, more than several people to frown. Oh lord, if you could see these frowns. The people don’t even respect themselves, drooling half-chewed pizza and such all over their t-shirts. Embarrassing. C’mon guys, it is just a game.
‘DEAD SPACE 3’ features N7 ARMOR and microstransactions. Win some, lose some.
At this point in the dance, continuing to complain about microtransactions in gaming is like me complaining about blood in my stool. It is part and parcel for the area. If I didn’t want blood in my stool, I’d stop soaking my cells in aluminium filings to keep away the Illuminati Mind Control. If I didn’t want to deal with microtransactions, I would stop gaming. Dead Space 3 is the latest culprit in this spreading phenomenon. But don’t cry! It has N7 armor for some of us. Wee!
Rumor: These are the NEXT XBOX specs. Maybe. Hell if I know.
Yo! Any tech-wizards care to explain these specs to me? They mean almost nothing. In the sense that I know they mean “things”, but I cannot tell you what those “things” translate to.
Super rare original XBOX is gnarly swag, and can be yours!
Goddamn, the original Xbox was a garish piece of bloat. Even this super rare collector’s edition version of the system is nasty. Don’t take too much offense, Xbox. I loved you. Well, sort of. I played a lot of Halo on you, and that has to count for something. Though, if I’m being truthful I never thought your predecessor would be one of my favorite systems of all time, but the Universe is tricky! I digress. Here is a ridiculous collector’s item. Go. Buy it. Mail it to me.
Watch: First FIVE MINUTES of ‘BIOSHOCK INFINITE.’ Do you dare?
I’m not watching this. However, I’m presenting you with the opportunity. Do you dare to spoil?
XBOX 720: Details spilled in XBOX WORLD. If so, I’m sprung with tech-lust.
I could say I understand the jist of these new details, but I’m just like “oh shit new Xbox details. I don’t understand them with my fat brain, but I know I want it.” Do you understand these details? Are you excited like me? It’s a cucumber in my pants, chill out.
‘GRAND THEFT AUTO V’ promotional swag leaks. Plus! Posters.
The drums of war go boom-boom or something, heralding the approach of the next GTA. These drums bring with them promotional leaks and posters for those who are interested. I assume you are interested.
‘GRAND THEFT AUTO’ officially dropping in SPRING 2013. Wee?
I don’t know. Are we supposed to be enthused by this? Spring is a pretty big season. Like, I’m thinking April. It better be April. Didn’t GTA IV drop in April? I like cookies. Do you?
‘BIOSHOCK INFINITE’ Collector’s Editions revealed. But what if it sucks?
Yeah, I went there. As much as I want to be hyped for the fucking BioShock Infinite Omega Level editions, I can’t get there. People are leaving that game’s development team like it’s a flame-covered donkey ride in the middle of the ocean. What is that, exactly? Fuck you! I don’t know. Anyways, so yeah. Buy these. At your own risk.
