C’mon, Microsoft. Get this fucking done and I’ll love you. I’m tired of juggling all my fucking consoles, AV ports, and jackin’-off socks. Make my life easier. Let me play my 360 games on my XB1. Please? Truthfully — I’d dig this way more than PlayStation Now! or whatever. I don’t want to have to pay to play fucking games I already own on my PS3. (Assuming this official emulation is free, granted, whatever, get off my cock.)
Microsoft is teasing us with promise of an exclusive from a “wonderful” Japanese developer. I really wonder what the fuck it can be, and how much money they’ve backed up into the gaping anus of said developer to obtain it. (In case you didn’t know, currency-to-anus transfers are the new hot phenomenon in my mind.) Cause like, with XB1 not even out in Japan yet, what sort of exclusive with a Japanese developer provide?
NO SERIOUSLY — I don’t know. Any guesses?
Respawn Entertainment’s Xbox One exclusive has gotten itself a gameplay trailer, and my goodness. I’m not one to lean on hyperbole for descriptiveness (heh), but watching this trailer literally compelled my dong-tip to burst forth off the shaft. It fluttered about the room, running up the corners of the walls in a hysteria. After finally exhausting itself of its unexplained kinetic energy, it fell listlessly into the aquarium. Where the angelfish ate it.
I don’t know the non-American football well. At all. However, I do know that them fuckers in Europe are bonkers for it. In fact, isn’t FIFA like the top selling franchise? So the fact that the XBONE is going to come with a free copy seems pretty fucking impressive to me. Like if they dropped the console in America packaged with Call of Battlefield: Modern Ops and a twelve-pack of Dew.
This is froggy fresh. One of the interesting things about this Fall is that titles are dropping across multiple generations. What if I buy Call of Duty: It’s A Doggy Dog Life on my 360, but then I snag an XBONE for Christmas? What will happen to all those wonderful maps I snagged? Microsoft? They’re actually doing me a fucking solid.
The XBONE song and dance is a curious one. Full of twists, turns, pirouettes and shit. The latest little move in this tango is the announcement that the Xboner does not require a Kinect to be plugged in to operate. Which is sort of neat, but also like sort of “how about you don’t fucking force me to buy it then”, right? Definitely giving credence to the rumors that 2014 shall see a Kinect-less version of Microsoft’s next console.
How long until this Microsoft’s stance on this is rolled back? It seems like a swaying song and dance at this point. Sony unleashes a feature for free. Microsoft charges for it. We all gnash our teeth. Said feature becomes available for free on the XBONE.