Xbox One will be backwards compatible with the 360. Your move, Sony.

Steve Ballmer is ready.

I don’t know if I’m alone, but I value backwards compatibility a lot. So this is fucking rad news for me.

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PlayStation whuppin’ continues, outsells Xbox 3:1 in Q1 2014

Kaz Hirai Hogan.

Now fucking listen! I own both the DelayStation 4 (LOL I HATE MYSELF FOR PUNS) and the XBONE (I STILL HATE MYSELF), so I have no real vested interest in the console wars. Actually, maybe I want really healthy competition so both companies push themselves. That said — and I don’t know why — I do enjoy watching Sony continuing to roll Microsoft by their fucking ears. (And for those of you who want to point this out, I realize Sony doesn’t differentiate between PS3 and PS4 sales.)

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PHIL SPENCER (Blazer & T-Shirt Guy) is the new HEAD OF XBOX

Phil Spencer.

Phil Spencer: Mostly known to me as the Blazer & T-Shirt Guy from his various presentations. Now I’m going to know the lad by another appellation: Head of XBOX. I don’t really know how to feel. Microsoft has spent the last year peeling off restrictions from their console, getting outsold by the PS4, and making me fucking pay for an adapter to use my existing headset. Is Spencer behind any of this? Will he alleviate some of this douchery now that he’s in control? I wonder. As an owner of the XBONER, I’m hoping he does a fantastic job.

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After crap console sales, Nintendo “thinking about a new business structure.”

Confused Miyamoto is confused.

I want Nintendo to succeed because Nintendo is woven into the very fabric of who I am. Their games sculpted this rotting psycho-carcass that is lodged in my cranium. That said, I have’t bought a Wii U. I even want one, but I haven’t been able to get myself there. Already got too many consoles. Only so many HDMI ports. Spoiled geek problems.

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Bungie’s ‘DESTINY’ gets an OFFICIAL RELEASE DATE next September.


Bungie’s Destiny finally has a hard release date. Seriously. Go ahead. Bite it. Your little bone-protrusions will give before the date does. Ouch, right? The bad news? The game ain’t dropping for a good, long, while.

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Steve Ballmer is ready.

I am by no means an Xbone hater. As I’ve said across the various poorly-edited posts on this site, I’ve made my amends with Microsoft. Their recalcitrance giving away to penitence more than mollified my anger. So them doing well on launch day? I ain’t got no beef.

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Press Start: This Is Your God


Phil Harrison, European XBOX Chief, in all of his shiny-headed wisdom has hired British TV personality Jonathan Ross for some sort of bullshit executive producer position. He’s going to challenge the way games are made. I don’t know what’s going on any more.

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Press Start: Panic-Delaying the Next Generation


I feel like I’ve just emerged from another womb; a womb of my own creation, fitted with a plasma screen and an XBOX 360: filled with the stench of my own self-loathing and regret. Yeah, I’ve been playing a lot of GTA V lately, so much so that I forgot I had a duty to talk shit about video games and pontificate like you all gave one. Despising myself as I was, but conveniently blaming GTA V at the same time, I was surprised to find out that the game hadn’t just fucked up my life, but the industry as a whole.

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XBOX ONE is MAYBE/PROBABLY dropping on November 8.


Now that I’ve made my amends with Microsoft (I love you Herbie), it’s going to be difficult for me to watch the release of the XBONER-1 come and go without a purchase. Especially since I’ll be having to wait a week (A WHOLE FUCKING WEEK) for the PS4 to drop. That’s one goddamn week without my toes in the next-gen pool.

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XBOX ONE no longer requires KINECT to be plugged in. STILL GOTTA F**KING BUY IT.


The XBONE song and dance is a curious one. Full of twists, turns, pirouettes and shit. The latest little move in this tango is the announcement that the Xboner does not require a Kinect to be plugged in to operate. Which is sort of neat, but also like sort of “how about you don’t fucking force me to buy it then”, right? Definitely giving credence to the rumors that 2014 shall see a Kinect-less version of Microsoft’s next console.

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