#February2017
‘Han Solo’ Movie Adds ‘Westworld’ Fave Thandie Newton
Thandie Newton has joined the cast of the Han Solo movie. She…she gotta be playing Han Solo’s wife, right?
No Comments
Weekend Open Bar: Make A Wish (God Isn’t Listening)
Good god damn, it’s the Weekend. Good god damn, I’m glad.
Can minimize the amount of time I’m stuffed into these ever-tightening pants, and maximize the amount of time I’m working towards further corpulence. It’s a merry sequence, a happied romance. I hope, oh I hope to do it with you folks. Here at the Weekend Open Bar. The weekly weekend invitation, nay, the weekly weekend invocation of the citizens of Space-Ship Omega. To gather around the digi-hearth and spend their weekend together. Sharing what we’re eating, sharing what we’re drinking, sharing what we’re reading. Sharing anything and everything! Drunken tales of anal gapes around Slurpee dispensers. Sober tales of contemplating. Anything and everything.
Good god damn, it’s the Weekend. Good god damn, I’m glad.
Monday Morning Commute: The Sky Above Was Neon
I suppose, invariably, writing Monday Morning Commute on an actual Monday evening will find me: tired, stank-ass from the gym, palming my eye sockets attempting to figure out what to say. So, invariably, here we are. Here I am. Stank ass. Tired. Palming my eye sockets, praying to the Elder Ones to provide Divination. I’m tired, you’re tired. I’m somewhat fulfilled, in a somewhat fulfilling job, that compensates for its fulfillment by being tenuously existent from semester to semester, and perpetually stressful about said existence. But as the French Philosopher CaffPow once said, “C’est la adjunct life or some shit.” He said that. I said that. I hope you’re feeling at least as fulfilled as me, minus the stress, the perpetual scrotum-shrinking stress of contemplating the harrowing, horrifying prospects of what Next Semester Will Bring, less than a week into This Semester.
Fuck, fuck me, I’ve gotten myself off one of them Old Tangents. They used to be about how I beat my meat inconsolably to gifs of Katy Perry or some shit. Many moons ago. Now they’re just another tepid meat-case lamenting its tepidity whilst stuck in said meat-case, completely ignoring how Goddamn Good the meat-case has it Relative To So Much Of The World.
But, uh, buddy. Buddies. How are you folk-fuckers doing? What are you up to this week? Watching anything dope? What are you sweating? Anticipating playing anything dope? Sharing the answers to said questions is not cheating, folk-fuckers. No, in fact, it’s encouraged in this post here’s comments section. One could even say it’s the fucking raison d’être (the phrase popped into my head but truthfully I had to Google it to confirm it actually was a phrase) of this entire column. Generating a self-sustaining Community Bubble wherein we can share what we’re STOKED and JACKED for during a given week.
Me, this little ole devil? I’ll go first.
Hope to see you in the comments section! Folk-fuckers!
Weekend Open Bar: A Cure For The Common Ennui
It’s the Bar! The Weekend Open Bar!
And a welcome one, at that. I’m ready. To kick off the pants, slap on some fat kid sweats. To slough off the responsibilities, pop on some wrestling. Or some Westworld. Or some Mob Psycho 100. Recline, recline, recline into the primo portion of the sectional in our sunroom.
Westworld: They say great beasts once roamed this world
“They say that great beasts once roamed this world. Big as mountains. Yet all that’s left of them is bone and amber. Time undoes even the mightiest creatures. Just look what it’s done to you. One day, you will perish. You will die like with the rest of your kind in the dirt. Your dreams forgotten, your horrors faced, your bones will turn to sand, and upon that sand a new God will walk, one that will never die”
Dishonored 2: I want to play a game with real consequences.
I’m currently coming down after finishing probably my two favorites things of 2016. The series Westworld and the game Dishonored 2. That sad feeling that you know the end is near. Like a good book you can’t put down but suddenly find yourself turning the pages more slowly because you know you’re almost out. Almost out of that new experience juice. That something that is intangible until its gone and you realize you won’t get it back. That first run.
I actually slowed my play of Dishonored because I really wanted to savor the end result. I played the whole game killing as few people as possible. In a lot of cases this meant a lot of reloads, as not only is easy to accidentally kill someone but the difficulty if much higher in approaching the various scenarios the game gives you. It’s easy to toss a grenade into a room and watch the fun from 3 stories up. It’s much harder to get up close and personal to each enemies and take them out one by one. I really wanted to not only play non-lethally but also be a total ghost to the NPC. (the last part didn’t work out so well) I did however complete the game with the ‘best’ ending, as in the most positive outlook for the kingdom and our characters.
Weekend Open Bar: You Can Still Find The Sun
It’s the freakin’ weekend, baby! This is the freakin’ Weekend Open Bar, baby! After a particularly strenuous week, I’m happy to report I’m currently supine. Type-type-typing away. Next to Mrs. Omega. Got a weekend of gaming, reading, watching, and sleeping on the docket. Can’t complain, can’t complain.
Tuesday Afternoon Commute: There Will Be Blasé
The Sophists dance on the Funeral Pyres of Intellectualism, crafting arguments made of Fluff and Clickbait. The Cynics bark at the Low Hanging Fruit, crafting arguments made of Bitterness and Clickbait. The Virulent scream into the Faces of the Oppressed, crafting arguments encouraging them to sit down and enjoy it.
I stuff my face, refresh Tumblr, and welcome the Ennui.
I don’t consider myself a sophist, a cynic, or a virulent, mainly I’m just Tired.
Physically tired, after a trying few days. Mentally tired, after a trying few days.
I’m stuffed into dress clothes, unfortunately bulging with despair. I’m stuffed into dress, unfortunately (not) bulging with guts stuffed with junk food.
Welcome to the Grand Pall of MidSemester Ian!
There’s gotta be…I gotta be…Surely there are things for me to look forward to, this week. There’s gotta be…I gotta be…Surely there are things for enjoy, this week. Right? Right! Sure? Sure!
This is Tuesday Afternoon Commute. The tardy edition of Monday Morning Commute, where I list what I’m looking forward to across a given week.
Join me in the comments section. Raise my Spirits. Raise My Soul. Exhume my essence and use it to fight your foes in astral combat. I don’t give a fuck!
‘Westworld’ Trailer: You’re one of them, aren’t you?
I really want this show to be good.
HBO confirms that ‘Westworld’ is dropping this Fall
Remember Westworld? That HBO adaptation of the Crichton science-fiction thriller? It got some weird ass teaser trailer a while back. Then it got some rumors swirling around it about waivers extras were signing to be a part of some robot orgy. Seriously. Then, news was, production had shut the fuck down. But the show lives! And it’s arriving this Fall.
