Man, maybe the Universe is finally dusting the turds off the Transformers franchise. Last year’s Bumblebee was genuinely one of the most fun popcorn flicks in a minute. And now? We got ourselves an animated prequel series heading to Netflix.

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John Cena has joined the cast of the Transformers spin-off movie, you know the totally necessary deep dive into the ethos of Bumblebee. I’m just fucking around, I’m actually excited about this movie’s prospects. Good director. 1980s setting. Cena. I’m tentatively stoked.

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A cold, cruel reminder that the universe is patently apathetic, if not unfair.

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Robert Kirkman is the guy behind Walking Dead. Now he may also be the gentleman behind unfucking the notoriously horrible Transformers franchise.

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We gotta get the ventilation system working here on the Space-Ship Omega. Okay. I know that. My phlegm-farts have been stinking up my cabin, floating through the grates, and now your milk steaks taste like ass soup. Apologies. In the meantime, let’s all indulge in some Monday Morning Commute. The one-stop shop for sharing all the easy, breezy, beautiful things you’re looking forward to this week. Just don’t list “my milk steak not tasting like your rectal leakage” as something to be anticipated. Please. I get it. Okay.

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A hot new plate of podcast for you to engulf. Go ahead, throw it down that dirty gullet of yours. Oh, you want to know what that bubbling black ooze is? Or the gnarled tree branch looking things? Fine! Fine. If you must know what’s on this episode: more Star Wars talk (ugh, I know!), Caff complaining about a lot of things and articulating them poorly, Rendar’s lost son, the Ninja Turtles, the exhaustion of comic book culture, Riff’s first guitar solo played on whale bones, eating tortilla chips in the microphone, and more.

Hit the jump for the terror, or check us out on iTunes.

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